Of Love and War
by January Lily
Summary: As far as her father was concerned, Lydia's current feelings for Benjamin were simply that of a heartbroken girl whose childhood sweetheart had betrayed her. But the truth of the matter was that Lydia Woodhull would always love Benjamin Tallmadge, rebel or not. *Ben/OC*
1. Run

**Chapter 1: Run**

* * *

 _~*~Summer 1764~*~_

 _A cool breeze blew in through the open window. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the sounds of children's laughter echoed from outside. But six-year-old Lydia Woodhull was trapped inside working on her sewing. She tugged at her cap that covered her ginger hair, wishing to rid herself of it but a weathered hand swatted at her small hand. Timidly, Lydia glanced at Widow Browne, looking rather mouselike. Lydia didn't particularly enjoy the older woman's company, but she had no choice in the matter. Her father, not well-practiced or suited in the art of feminine etiquette, brought the older woman into their home several times a week to help train Lydia to become a lady and housekeeper. He did this because the girl did not have a mother whom to learn from and Lydia needed a woman's hand in her life. Rebecca Woodhull had tragically died when giving birth to Lydia, leaving Richard Woodhull the daunting task of raising two sons and a daughter on his own._

 _Growing up with two brothers, Lydia was keen to keep up with them, often times much to her father's chagrin. But Judge Richard Woodhull had a soft spot for his only daughter who had inherited her mother's bright blue eyes, ginger locks, and charming smile that could easily soften his heart. While he tried to remain firm with her, especially as he had the boys, he often times buckled to her will. He just couldn't help it with those eyes and smile of hers. Richard was eternally grateful that Widow Browne had offered to come into their home to help guide Lydia, despite the young girl's disapproval._

 _Lydia sighed. It was a beautiful day outside and it was such a shame to waste the day inside sewing. She vowed to herself that she would never do such a thing when she had a home of her own. No, she would spend the day outside doing as she pleased when she was old enough to do so. When Widow Browne glanced away for a moment, Lydia tugged once more at her cap before her fingers returned to the sewing on her lap. She hated the tediousness of sewing. Her stitches looked terrible and Widow Browne's warnings that she would make a terrible wife someday if she couldn't sew certainly didn't help matters. Lydia would rather be outside playing with her brother Abraham and his friends than sewing. Then again, almost anything else was more enjoyable than Widow Browne's lessons._

 _Still quite distracted from her lessons, Lydia glanced at the open window to find Benjamin Tallmadge's grinning face. He lifted his arm through the window and waved to her. Her eyes widened, but she quickly tried to hide her surprise, lest Widow Browne see her. Ben was a neighbour, son of the town preacher, and one of Abe's best friends. Ben was ten years old and had sandy brown hair and bright blue eyes. He was probably Lydia's favourite of Abe's friends because he was usually the nicest to her and could always manage to make her smile. Not to mention that Lydia much preferred Ben's mother teaching her things than old Widow Browne. Ben's mother at least tried to make things enjoyable for her._

 _Lydia glanced at the open window once again to find Ben making silly faces at her trying to make her laugh. She tried her best to hide her amusement, but a giggle escaped her lips. Quickly, she faked a cough to mask her giggles. Lydia then dropped her sewing in her lap and covered her mouth with her hands, hoping that Widow Browne hadn't noticed the giggle nor her disobedience. Thankfully, if the older woman noticed, she didn't say anything. Instead, Widow Browne just continued darning the sock in front of her._

 _When Lydia finally dared to glance at the window again, Ben was gone. She frowned ever so slightly before she returned her attention to her sewing. Concentrating on something she didn't find interest in was a task in and of itself. If this was what was expected of a lady, then Lydia had no desire of becoming one someday. No, she would rather find something else to do. The sound of Ben's laughter entwined with Abe and Caleb's laughter wafted into the house. Lydia sighed and glanced out the window as the boys' voices continued to resonate through the house. She frowned. It wasn't fair that boys got to have all the fun._

 _Fifteen minutes later, Lydia glanced at the clock before she looked at Widow Browne, daring to speak without being spoken to. "Might we finish early with lessons today?" the young girl asked. She tried not to sound too eager, but Widow Browne could see right through her. She always could. It was annoying._

" _Our lessons will end when I say they do, Lydia Woodhull," Widow Browne snapped without even looking up from her darning. Lydia sighed and picked up her sewing again for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Sometimes, she wished she had been born a boy. She would much rather be making mischief than a quilt square or darning a sock, or whatever else was expected of a lady._

 _After what seemed like an eternity, Lydia was finally allowed to set down her sewing. For a moment, she thought Widow Browne might end their lessons prematurely, but instead, Widow Browne insisted that she practice playing the pianoforte. Any proper lady in her position with hopes for a respectable marriage should know how to play the pianoforte. Or so she had been told. While playing wasn't her favourite activity, playing the pianoforte was much more enjoyable than sewing._

 _Her fingers began to move across the pianoforte, but she could not make it through the first line without a few mistakes._

" _Focus, Lydia," Widow Browne scolded before she swatted at Lydia's hands._

 _The swat didn't hurt, but if she continued to make mistakes, the swats would get harder. Lydia gave a slight nod of her head before she concentrated a little harder on the song she was playing. She carefully plunked out the notes on the sheet music in front of her, but it didn't sound quite like the song it was supposed to resemble. Sometimes it seemed that no matter how much she practised, Lydia never seemed to get any better at playing. She much prefered singing to playing. She sang quite frequently, especially when she was alone outside. Some folks said she had the voice of an angel. Missus Tallmadge had even complimented her on her lovely voice. Widow Browne never did such a thing. That was another reason Lydia disliked Widow Browne. Nothing she did was ever quite satisfactory enough for the old woman._

 _Widow Browne eventually relented and ended Lydia's lessons for the day. Although Lydia had a sneaking suspicion it was due to a headache from her terrible playing. Widow Browne gathered her things and left Whitehall. Lydia carefully watched Widow Browne from the window, waiting. She watched the older woman walk down the lane and head in the direction of her own home, which backed onto the sound. When Lydia was sure the widow was out of view of Whitehall, she hoisted her petticoats from dragging on the floor and ran outside to find her brother and his friends. She wanted to play too._

 _Rounding the house, she found her brother Abe sword fighting using sticks with Caleb Brewster, while Ben watched on, waiting for his turn. Ben must have noticed Lydia running toward them, because he smiled and waved at her. She smiled and waved back with one hand, while holding onto her cap with her other hand._

" _Might I play?" Lydia asked as she approached the boys. Abe glanced at her and Caleb took the opportunity to jab him in the chest with his stick. Abe fell to the ground and groaned as Caleb declared himself the victor._

 _From where he lay on the ground, Abe looked rather perturbed that she had interrupted their game and caused him to lose. "Girls don't fight, Lyddie," he stated firmly as he picked himself up from the ground before he folded his arms across his chest and glared at his sister. Typical Abe. He always hated it when Lydia tried to play with him and his friends._

 _Lydia narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest, following her brother's suit. "Joan of Arc did. Benj told me so. Didn't you, Benj?"_

 _Abe shot an annoyed look in Ben's direction. Ben tried to hide his smile as he suddenly became rather interested in the grass._

" _You're just scared she'll beat ya, aren't ya Abe?" Caleb laughed, slapping Abe on the shoulder._

 _Abe's face reddened as he stammered, "No I'm not. She knows she's not to be playing such games with us. It's not a girl's place."_

" _Benj," Lydia pleaded to her brother's friends who had remained silent thus far. Her bottom lip jutted out a bit as her blue eyes met his. Lydia knew if she could convince Ben, he would be her best bet at convincing Abe or at least keeping the peace between them. Ben looked torn._

 _But before Ben could respond, Caleb mocked her in a high-pitched voice. "Benj," he taunted. "Ben."_

 _Ben responded by jabbing his elbow at Caleb's ribs. Caleb groaned and slightly doubled-over in pain. Lydia couldn't help but grin. Only she ever called him Benj. Ben pulled Caleb upright by the collar of his shirt before he patted his friend's back. He smiled at Lydia before looking at Abe who stood rather crossly with his arms folded._

 _"Abe does have a fair point, Lyddie. Fighting is men's' work..." Ben started. Lydia's disappointment was evident on her face, but he wasn't done. "But we were just about to play something else and I see no harm in it."_

 _"Ben," Abe groaned._

" _I'm not finished," Ben said sternly to Abe. Abe groaned and hung his head before Ben continued. "We_ should _give her a test to see if she can play with us._ _She can play only if she passes_." _Ben cast a quick wink in Lydia's direction. "Perhaps a foot race?"_

 _Lydia chewed her lip nervously. She knew she could beat Caleb easily, but so did Abe and he would never agree to a race against Caleb. When she and Abe raced in the past, they were usually neck and neck. He would want an easy victory so that she could not play with them. Before Abe even said anything, Lydia knew that he was going to volunteer Ben to race her. Ben was the fastest of the boys present and in the village of Setauket. He always won the foot races with the other boys._

 _When Abe did predictably volunteer Ben, Ben simply nodded his head. He must have expected the same outcome, but he said nothing. He just glanced at Lydia, which somewhat unnerved her._ _Abe marked the line for Lydia and Ben to stand behind. The rules were simple: the first one to the maple tree and back would be declared the winner. Ben smiled as he took his place beside Lydia. He did a few stretches, carefully watching Lydia nervously tug at her cap. Lydia wanted to win but she knew she would never be able to outrun Benjamin Tallmadge unless God decided to perform a miracle of divine intervention. But she was too stubborn to admit defeat. She at least had to try._

" _Ready!" Caleb shouted._

 _Ben put one foot slightly in front of the other and leaned forward. Lydia followed suit, assuming that if Ben did it, it must be helpful._

" _Set!"_

 _Ben glanced over at Lydia and winked. Her brow furrowed. And before she could question him, Caleb shouted, "GO!"_

 _Lydia watched as Ben took off in a sprint in front of her. His longer stride was on his side. But Lydia was persistent and she ran after him as fast as her little legs would carry her. She squealed as her cap flew off her head, but she didn't stop to grab it because she was slowly gaining ground on Ben. Her ginger locks flowing freely behind her. Perhaps God did watch foot races._

 _She watched as Ben approached the maple tree and she willed herself to run faster. When suddenly, much to her surprise, Ben tumbled to the ground. "Benj!" Lydia called as she ran a little faster to help him. She saw as he lay there on the ground groaning and holding his foot. Poor Benj._

 _Lydia's running slowed as she reached the tree, but Ben must have anticipated that she would do that because when she was close enough he whispered, "Go, Lyddie. Go. Run." It took her a second to process his words. He gave her a sly grin. She then realised that he had tripped on purpose so that she could win. She grinned at him and he gave her another quick wink before he went back to groaning and cradling his foot._

 _With her hair flowing freely in the wind, Lydia sprinted back toward Abe and Caleb. Caleb's expression was dumbfounded but Abe looked rather disgruntled. Lydia giggled and looked over her shoulder to see Ben stand up and come bounding toward her-his foot miraculously better. She squealed and faced forward again, running as quick as she could with all her might. She wanted to beat Ben, even if he did let her win, it would still be a victory in her book. Lydia Woodhull beat Benjamin Tallmadge, the fastest boy in Setauket._

 _Crossing the finish line first, Lydia slowed down and raised her arms in the air to celebrate with glee. Ben hadn't anticipated her stopping, so he ploughed right into Lydia, knocking her to the squealed as she fell, trying to regain her balance, but it was no use. Lydia landed in a very unladylike position, sprawled on the grass at Ben's feet. That made Caleb and Abe laugh. Even Ben cracked a small chuckle at the sight before he quickly extended his hand to her. Lydia slowly reached for his hand. His fingers wrapped around around wrists as he pulled her to her feet once more._

" _Sorry, Lyddie," Ben apologised once Lydia was stable on her feet. He was unable to hide the grin on his amusement and grinned at her. Lydia groaned and brushed the grass from her petticoats. It was then Lydia noticed her discarded cap in his hand. He must have picked it up for her on his run back._

 _She held her hand out with a stern expression on her face. She did not like being laughed at. With a sober expression on his face, Ben placed the cap in Lydia's outstretched hand._ _"Aw,_ c'mon _, Lyddie, don't be angry," Ben pleaded. "I truly am sorry I ran into you. I didn't mean to. I swear."_

 _Lydia looked up at him and eyed his expression. He seemed to be telling the truth._ " _Apology accepted then," Lydia said as he pulled her cap back onto her head. She then looked up the boy in front of her with her arms folded across her chest._

 _Unable to resist himself, Ben gave her cap a tug so that it covered her eyes. He chuckled as Lydia groaned, "Benj," and moved the cap back to its proper position. He was always teasing her like that._

 _By this point, Abe and Caleb had run over to meet them. Abe wore a scowl on his face. "You let her win!" Abe groaned to Ben._

 _Ben, who stood a little taller than Abe looked at him and said, "No, I didn't. I fell. You saw so yourself!"_

" _Oh, we saw you falling all right, Benny-boy," Caleb grinned as he looked at Ben and then to Lydia. Ben shook his head at Caleb's statement. Lydia flushed and Abe rolled his eyes and groaned._

" _Let's just play," Ben stated, taking control of the group with his natural leadership skills. "Hide-and-seek. Last one to the tree is it." No one had time to argue with him as he sprinted back toward the tree. The others followed after him. Caleb made a comment about Benny boy's ankle being miraculously better, but Ben simply looked over his shoulder and laughed._

 _Ben touched the tree first, Abe second, and Lydia third. That meant Caleb was it. "Make sure you actually get to a hundred this time," Ben called as Caleb closed his eyes and leaned against the tree. Caleb waved his hand, dismissing Ben as the other scattered into the trees. Abe went west, while Lydia went north with Ben trailing behind her. Lydia found that rather odd but she said nothing and kept running until Ben's hand snaked around her arm._

 _She opened her mouth to speak, but he had a single finger pressed against his lips motioning her to be quiet. He then pointed up into the tree. "Caleb never counts all the way to a hundred," Ben whispered. "If you keep running he'll hear you. If we go up, he won't be sure of where we are. Here, I'll give you a boost." Ben then knelt down and wove his fingers together. She didn't question him. Lydia stepped onto his hand and he lifted her upward. She scrambled onto one of the tree branches and Ben followed behind her. They then waited for Caleb to find them._

* * *

~*~Autumn 1776~*~

Lydia awoke with a start. She was breathing rather heavily as she sat up in bed, holding onto her chest. Since the war had started, dreams of her childhood and of better times often plagued her in the night. Sometimes it was almost worse to remember the good times because they were painful reminders of everything they had lost and dreams that were no more. And while she hoped the war would end quickly, but deep in her heart, she knew that would never happen. At least not if things turned out as she wished them.

In the darkness of her bedroom, eighteen-year-old Lydia padded across the floorboards with her bare feet as she made her way to the window. The night air and drops of beaded rain gave the paned glass a cool feeling. Lydia leaned her shoulder against the window sill and watched the darkness outside. Every now and then, the moon dared to glimpse from behind the storm clouds and Lydia couldn't help but think about Benjamin Tallmadge. She couldn't help but wonder where he was and how he was doing. She wondered if he could be looking up at the very same moon thinking of her. Lydia hoped that he was.

But Lydia's harboured feelings for Benj must remain a secret. Granted, her relationship with him was probably one of Setauket's worst kept secrets; but she had managed to convince her father that things were over and that they had been for some time now. She never spoke of Ben out loud in her father's house. Especially not given recent developments, when the Tallmadges weren't loyal to the Crown and the British regulars had taken up quarters in Setauket. While Lydia knew Reverend Tallmadge refused to kill anyone ever again after he fought against the French and Iroquois, his three oldest sons had joined Washington's Army. And as far as her father was concerned, Lydia's current feelings for Benjamin were simply that of a heartbroken girl whose childhood sweetheart had betrayed her and the King. But the truth of the matter was that Lydia Woodhull would always love Benjamin Tallmadge, rebel or not. He had captured her heart long ago and had never given it back.

After a long sigh, Lydia walked back to her bed. She crawled back beneath the blankets when she heard voices speaking in low tones. Major Hewlett, the officer they were quartering, must still be awake, she mused. That man always seemed to be awake, which was especially odd given that his duty wasn't all that difficult. After all, he was referred to by many in the British Army, behind his back, as the _Oyster Major_ , since his garrison was away from any real fighting or action on Long Island, far enough away from York City where the rebels had recently been driven from the city. His only duty was to protect the sleepy seaside establishment which was in the heart of Tory country. The rebels would have to be reckless to attack Setauket under the current circumstances.

While Lydia didn't have any qualms about Major Hewlett, she didn't like living under the same roof as him. While her opinion wasn't solely based on principle, it was the argument she continually reminded herself. A young woman, living in her father's house, with an unmarried man a few doors away hardly seemed proper. But it seemed that propriety wasn't a luxury anyone could afford these days with the war. She had heard stories of terrible things happening to some of the women who quartered a soldier while their husbands were out. Stories that made her spine tingle. Thankfully, Major Hewlett didn't seem the type. His interactions so far with her had been pleasant enough, but she still would prefer that he resided somewhere besides Whitehall.

Lydia yawned. There were still a few more hours before she needed to rise for the day, so she curled up beneath her quilt until she was quite snug. She closed her eyes. Her final thoughts were of Benjamin Tallmadge before she drifted off to sleep.

The next morning after breakfast, Father and Major Hewlett departed to tend to the day's duties. Lydia stayed behind for a time until she found an opportunity to escape to the cove. With her cloak pulled tight around her frame, she made her way through the brush and bramble, humming as she walked. While she tried to make it look like she was simply out for a short jaunt, Lydia had a specific destination in mind. It was a place she had visited frequently these days: _the tree_. _Her tree. Their tree_.

When she spotted _the tree_ , she stopped humming. Lydia looked over her shoulders to make sure no one was watching her. That was the last thing she needed, someone figuring out her secret. She especially didn't need a member of the Royal Army figuring it out. The thought of it was positively dreadful. One could never be too careful these days, with even the simplest of tasks. But there was no one watching her. It was safe to proceed.

Slowly, she walked over to the tree and rested her hand on the trunk. Her fingers lithely traced the letters BT + LW carved into the bark. The letters had been there for years. They had been carved into the tree back when things had seemed much simpler. It seemed like a lifetime ago now. Lydia bent down and began to brush away the leaves and twigs that covered the small burrow at the base of the tree. She felt around inside, but there was nothing there. Lydia's heart sunk. She had been hoping _something_ would be there.

Lydia pushed the leaves back in place to cover the burrow. She then slowly exhaled before she sat down and leaned her back against the tree, glancing out to the stretch of water before her. Sometimes, she wished to go beyond sleepy Setauket, but she also knew that their little hamlet was probably the safest place for her. For now, she was safe living in her father's house, especially with her father being the town's magistrate. But how long her safety was secure was a question which she did not know the answer.

After a few more minutes, Lydia decided to venture into town after a quick stop at home. With Aberdeen cooking her father's noon meal, Lydia had nothing pressing her to stay home. She was itching to chat with Anna Strong for a bit. While Anna was another complicated matter in the Woodhull family, Lydia wasn't about to deny one of her closest friend's since childhood because of the war. She just needed to be careful the manner in which they were seen. So, almost every time Lydia went to visit Anna, she always brought something along with her to trade. The Strongs could afford to buy whatever it was Lydia brought them and in return, her father couldn't exactly fault her for a business dealing. Especially when it supported his estate. Not that she was always honest about how much money she received. Lydia would usually pocket some of the money she received and save it. There might be a day when she would need the funds.

Having done some baking yesterday, Lydia wrapped apple pasties in a cloth before she placed them in a basket and made her way into town, to the tavern. Anna's husband Selah owned Strong Tavern and he had always been a kind friend to Lydia, despite whatever tension might exist between him and Abe. Selah Strong was a good man who always made sure to look after her when she ventured into town, especially with the British regulars around.

Lydia enjoyed the walk from Whitehall into town. She was rather fond of walking and it gave her an excuse to be lost in her thoughts. Well, that was _one_ reason. The other was that it gave her an excuse to walk by the Tallmadge place. While she knew Ben wasn't there, Reverend Tallmadge resided there with his wife and his youngest son Isaac. With three of his sons off fighting for the Continental Army, it didn't take long for the loyalists of Setauket to turn their backs to Reverend Tallmadge. But despite her father's feelings on the Tallmadges, Lydia refused to turn her back on a family that had only shown her kindness.

As she walked down the lane past the Tallmadge house, Lydia caught sight of Isaac waving to her. She smiled and waved back at him. Isaac called to someone in the house, likely his stepmother before he ran toward Lydia. She stopped and waited for him to approach her. But Lydia couldn't help but smile. Of all the Tallmadge brothers, Isaac resembled Ben the most. Not to mention that they shared the same birthdate.

"Morning Lyddie...I mean, Miss _Woodhull_ ," Isaac greeted, quickly correcting himself.

"Lyddie's fine, Isaac," Lydia said with a slight chuckle. "And good morning to you, as well. How are you doing today?"

"I'm doing well. I'm giving Mother a hand with some of the chores." There was a slight hint of sadness in his tone and Lydia was fairly certain she knew why. The current Missus Tallmadge hadn't birthed the Tallmadge boys. Reverend Tallmadge had married his second wife in the winter of 1770, two years after his first wife and mother of his children had died. It was a time Lydia remembered vividly. Poor Isaac had been so young when his mother had died and now it seemed like everyone had left him. Even John, who wasn't part of Washington's army was away in Connecticut attending Yale, where Ben had also attended years prior.

Lydia softly smiled before she reached into her basket and pulled out three apple pasties. With most of the town either hating the Tallmadges or too terrified to defend them, Lydia knew they were in need of some Christian charity and kindness. Especially with the church having been forcibly removed from Reverend Tallmadge by the British Army. She sometimes felt it was her duty to look in on the Tallmadges now and then, especially given her history with the family. Lydia placed the pasties in Isaac's hands. "Those better make it inside," Lydia warned. "All of them."

Isaac smiled, looking very much like Ben, nodded his head. Lydia wanted to ask Isaac if he had heard from Ben, but she knew that wouldn't be appropriate because she had appearances to keep up. Even he, though he was Ben's brother, didn't know the truth of the matter. The sound of a cart was approaching, startled her. and Lydia knew it was time to take her leave. "You take care now," Lydia told Isaac. "And give Reverend and Missus Tallmadge my best."

With that, Lydia continued her trek into town. The gentleman in the cart greeted her as it passed her and Lydia greeted the driver in return. He asked her if she wished to ride the rest of the way into town, but Lydia turned down the offer. She truly did enjoy the walk.

When Lydia reached town, she lifted her petticoats a bit to keep them out of the mud. She had made it no more than a few steps when a hand firmly took hold of her elbow. Lydia's head quickly whipped to her right to find a tall man dressed in a red coat holding onto her. She didn't even need to look up at the man's face to know who the hand belonged to Lieutenant John Graves Simcoe.

Lydia didn't like the man. He had been a thorn in her side since he had taken his post in Setauket. Even if she hadn't given her heart away already, the lieutenant was far too forward and brazen, especially when it came to her. He didn't hesitate to make his feeling known toward her and she was certain that he had already approached her father in the short time he had been in Setauket to question about her hand. Thankfully, her father must have turned him away otherwise she would likely be engaged to the horrid man already. His eyes always seemed to linger a little too long and so did his hand. He was always finding an excuse to touch her.

She gently tried to pull her elbow from his grasp but was unsuccessful. "While I appreciate the offer, I think I can manage a few more steps, Lieutenant Simcoe," Lydia said as evenly as she could, still trying to free her elbow.

"Where are you headed, Miss Woodhull?" Simcoe asked, ignoring Lydia's plea and tightening his grip on her elbow. She wished he would just leave her alone. She wished she could just tell him her heart belonged to another, but she had a feeling even that wouldn't stop Simcoe's advances. While most of his advances were directed toward her, she also knew that his eyes wandered on Anna Strong, a married woman, as well.

Lyda tried to hide her annoyance with a sigh before she responded, "I have some business to attend to with Missus Strong." She slightly lifted the basket in her hand for him to see. Lieutenant Simcoe reached over and snatched the basket from her.

"Let me get that for you," he told her. Ben would have asked. This man just did as he pleased. But it was obvious he wasn't really all that interested in _helping_ her. At least not in that way. Simcoe then peeled back the cloth covering the baked goods and smiled greedily. "Well, well, what do we have here?"

"Apple pasties for Missus Strong and her patrons."

Simcoe stood a little taller and puffed his chest. "Might I help myself to one? They do look delicious."

Without missing a beat, Lydia responded, "You'll have to take that one up with Missus Strong, Lieutenant Simcoe. I don't want to short Missus Strong on her order. That wouldn't be proper business, now would it?"

"No, of course not," he responded rather lamely. A moment later the timbre of his voice changed. "But perhaps you might fancy yourself making more for me. I have heard talk of your delectables and rumour has it that they are simply divine."

"I wouldn't go that far, Lieutenant."

He smiled slyly at her. "I would."

His words sickened her, but she chose not to say anything more. Thankfully, there was no more need for conversation because they had reached the tavern. Lydia thanked Lieutenant Simcoe through gritted teeth before he went inside. She didn't want to go inside unless she was sure Anna was there. So, Lydia waved to catch Selah's attention from the window. Selah saw her after he poured Simcoe his drink and looked at her curiously. Lydia lifted her basket and he nodded his head and motioned for her to come inside. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure that her father hadn't somehow appeared before hesitantly stepped foot in the tavern.

To say that things were uncomfortable inside would have been an understatement. Several soldiers whistled at her. Somehow that was perfectly acceptable behaviour in a tavern. She didn't miss Lieutenant Simcoe's voice chastising one of the men who tried to grab her as she kept her head held high and walked to greet Selah.

Selah looked rather tense with her inside the tavern. She knew that his disgruntled actions weren't directed at her, but at the situation. Selah was sure to look out for her, especially after the promise he had made months before. "Anna's upstairs," he stated rather gruffly before glancing down. "And if Simcoe knows what's good for him…" Selah's voice trailed off. He didn't need to finish. Lydia understood his intentions.

Lydia gently pressed her hand on Selah's arm. "Thank you, Selah," she said sincerely. "I'll try not to be long, but you know how Anna and I get."

Selah dryly responded, "Don't I know it." He then cracked Lydia a small smile. "But I know she'll be pleased to see you." He then nodded for her to be on her way. Not needing to be told again, Lydia walked into the back of the tavern to find Anna carrying bedding into one of the rooms. Anna didn't notice Lydia right away, so Lydia cleared her throat.

Anna turned around and smiled. "That time already?" she asked with a telling smile. Anna wiped her hands on her apron before she walked over to Lydia and embraced her in a hug. "You could have sent those along with a courier."

Lydia chuckled as he embraced her friend back. "I know. I like…"

"The walk, aye?" Anna released Lydia and eyed her knowingly.

Lydia sighed before she responded, "Aye. And perhaps the company."

Anna smiled softly. The two women had been friends for years. and had almost been sisters. Almost. Anna looked over Lydia's shoulder before she took a peek inside the basket in Lydia's hands. "Was that Lieutenant Simcoe I saw walk you in?" she asked in a hushed tone. Lydia groaned and handed the basket over to Anna.

"Obstinate man can't see beyond his own desire and ambition to see reason. It makes me miss…" Lydia stopped herself and pursed her lips together.

Anna sighed and rested her hand on Lydia's cheek. She looked sympathetically at Lydia. "Makes you miss Ben, aye?" Lydia flushed at hearing his name aloud. Anna was one of the few people who knew the truth about the matter, yet hearing Ben's name aloud was almost foreign. Lydia looked up and nodded at her friend. Anna chuckled. "Your secrets are safe with me, Lyddie."

Lydia sighed and attempted to give Anna a smile. As much as Lydia liked Selah, there were times when she wished Anna had married Abraham as they had intended. Lydia would have loved to have called Anna her sister. Anna somehow made Abraham more tolerable. But alas, that wasn't how things played out. Abe had married Thomas's intended, Mary, to keep the agreement between their families. Sadly, it was only a matter of time before Lydia's father attempted to procure an agreement for her to marry. Lydia's excuse that she didn't want to see her father alone would only last so long.

Anna released Lydia before she pulled a few coins from her apron pocket and dropped them into Lydia's hand. Lydia didn't say anything. She simply pocketed the coins. Lydia couldn't care less about the money. It was all just a ruse to give her an excuse to see her friends whom her father considered to be bad company. "Care to give me a hand?" Anna asked gesturing to the bedding.

"Aye," Lydia responded, slightly nodding her head. The two women worked together chatting about their lives since they had last seen each other a week ago. Lydia could tell that Anna was being careful not to mention Ben, but part of her wished Anna wouldn't be so careful because sometimes it felt like he only existed in her head. But Lydia knew it wasn't safe, especially with a slew of soldiers downstairs.

Anna glanced out the window and cocked her head. "Is that your brother I see skulking about?" she asked. Lydia fluffed the pillow before she walked to Anna's side. She glanced out the window where Anna pointed.

Lydia nodded her head. "Looks to be."

"What could he possibly be wanting around here?"

"Your husband does own the town's only tavern."

"Which Abraham rarely frequents. If ever." Anna shot Lydia a telling glance. Lydia knew all too well _why_ Abe didn't visit the Strong's tavern.

Lydia folded her arms across her chest. "Would you like to go downstairs and ask him what he's up to?"

"No, of course not." Anna sat down on the bed and pursed her lips. She mulled her thoughts for a moment before she stood up and wiped her hands on her apron. "But I can ask him to join Selah and I for dinner. With Mary and Thomas of course. A chance to catch up."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"It's dinner. You seem to forget Abraham and I were friends once. There's no reason why we can't be again."

"What will your husband think?" But Anna didn't respond. She was too headstrong to give Lydia an answer. Instead, Anna headed for the stairs. Lydia groaned and followed after her, not wanting to be left alone in the quarters of a soldier. She made her way downstairs after Anna and stopped on the bottom stair to watch as Anna interrupted Selah and Abe's conversation.

Not wanting to add more injury to insult, Lydia stepped off the bottom stair and turned to exit the tavern when she found her path blocked. It was Simcoe. _Again_. "Miss Woodhull, care to join me?" he asked looking down at her, the lust evident in his eyes. How she wished Ben were here, but he was not.

"I really must hie myself home. I'm sure my father is expecting me," Lydia said trying to step around Lieutenant Simcoe. But he shifted his stance to block her. She released a puff of air before she glanced up at him. "Sir, if you will please excuse me…"

"Surely your father can spare you a little longer." His hands wrapped around Lydia's arms. She could feel her skin crawl from his touch. Lydia glanced back for help, only to find Selah Strong already marching toward her. Abraham following close behind.

"Unhand her, Lieutenant Simcoe," Selah hissed. "And then get out of my tavern."

Still holding onto Lydia, Simcoe glanced at Selah and then to Abraham. "You heard him. Unhand my sister," Abe added, folding his arms across his chest.

Slowly, Simcoe peeled his fingers from Lydia's arms. It was obvious he wasn't pleased with Selah and Abraham interceding on her behalf. But Lydia quickly turned and made eye contact with her brother. Abe gently grabbed her arm and pulled her behind him so that he was between her and Simcoe.

"This really wasn't necessary, gentlemen," Simcoe said smoothly. "Miss Woodhull and I have a certain... _understanding_."

"Like hell you do," Selah growled. Even Abe seemed somewhat surprised of Selah's defence of his sister, but he said nothing.

Before Selah could tell Simcoe once again to get out, an inebriated John Robeson sluggishly rose to his feet with a newspaper in one hand and his ale in the other. Robeson began to read an account of General Washington's retreat in the Royal Gazette from atop his chair. The account was crude and vulgar, not something that should have been read aloud. But the Redcoats cheered him on anyway. They laughed. They banged their fists and their cups on the table.

Anna and Lydia looked at each other uncomfortably and Selah didn't miss the glance between the two women. "Both of you go upstairs," Selah told Anna and Lydia, glancing toward the stairs.

"Selah, don't," Anna pleaded, reaching for her husband's arm.

But her words didn't stop him. Instead, he pushed past Simcoe and walked toward Robeson as the Redcoats continued their laughter and pounding against the tables. Selah stood tall in front of Robeson and firmly told him, "Get out, Robeson."

Robeson didn't take too kindly to Selah's words. He jumped from the chair and slowly walked toward Selah, insulting him. But Selah stood his ground, claiming that Robeson had offended the womenfolk and once again ordered him out. Captain Joyce then chimed in that Selah needn't kick Robeson out. That the man was simply celebrating the victory in New York. Selah shook his head in disbelief and then Robeson hurled an insult at him. Selah hurled one right back. It was then that things quickly escalated.

Robeson pushed Selah and an ale sloshed against Captain Joyce. Captain Joyce, assuming the ale had been thrown by Selah stood to grab him. But Selah pushed Joyce out of the way causing Joyce to fall onto a table and slice his hand on the glass he had smashed. Anna moved to help her husband, but Abe held her back. Seeing Simcoe glance at her, Lydia moved a little closer toward her brother for protection.

Next thing she knew, Selah was on the ground and Captain Joyce had drawn his sabre. Abe pushed Lydia toward Anna before he lunged for the rag on the counter. He then put himself between Captain Joyce and Selah, cleaning the Redcoat's shirt of the ale. A few seconds later, Abe was trying to remove Captain Joyce's coat but Simcoe had now joined the skirmish. He drew his gun and aimed it at Abe's head. Simcoe told Abe to release the captain. Abe did as he was told immediately and raised his hands in defeat.

Lydia was about to breathe a sigh of relief, but then things got worse. Captain Joyce punched Abe in the stomach, causing Abe to fall to the floor and double over. Then all hell broke loose. The Redcoats took Joyce's actions as their call to arms. They stood and began to kick both Selah and Abe while they lay on the floor.

Lydia moved a little closer to Anna, but the woman a few years her senior grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "Run to the church and get Major Hewlett or your father. Now."

After a quick nod of her head, Lydia pushed her way through the skirmish careful to avoid getting knocked-over herself. Once outside, Lydia lifted her skirts and began to run as fast her legs would carry her like she had so many times when she was a child. The cap she had thought was firmly pinned to her head flew off in the wind. But she didn't turn back for it. She could get it on her way back. Right now, she needed to get help for Selah and Abe.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Again, another plot bunny has escaped, but already Lydia is near and dear to my heart. My favorite genre is historical fiction and I've always wanted to write a historical fiction story, but** _ **original stories**_ **are the bane of my existence. So, hopefully historical fanfiction is a step in the right direction! I am going to do a mix of show canon, some real life stuff, and a bit of my own imagination. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! It truly means a lot to me. :)**

 _Thank you to Renny Autumn for looking over this multiple times for me and helping calm my nerves. And thank you to Nixdragon for your kind words and support (and murder threat if Benj and Lyddie don't get a happy ending. haha)_


	2. Correspondence

**Chapter 2: Correspondence**

* * *

 _~*~Late Summer 1769~*~_

 _Tap._

 _Tap._

 _Tap._

 _Twelve-year-old Lydia Woodhull's brow furrowed at the near constant tapping against her window pane. She got up from her desk, where she had been reading, and walked to the window. It was dark outside, aside from the light given by the moon and stars. Lydia didn't see anything, so she turned to walk away when something once again struck her window._

 _Lydia opened her window and poked her head out to look around. "Psst. Lyddie. Down here," a voice whispered from the darkness. She glanced down and squinted her eyes to peer through the darkness. After a few seconds her eyes recognised Benjamin Tallmadge standing down below. She waved at him before she pulled herself back inside to go get Abraham. But Ben's voice hissed, "Lyddie, where are you going?"_

 _With an eyebrow arched she poked her head out the window. "I was going to get Abe," Lydia whispered back, her curls tumbling in her face. She blew a puff of air at them and then pulled them behind her ears._

" _I wish to speak with you, Lyddie. Not Abe."_

 _His words puzzled her. "Me?" she questioned._

" _Aye. You." There was a momentary pause before he said, "Climb down the trellis and go for a walk with me."_

 _Lydia was rather flabbergasted by his request. "You can't be serious."_

" _But I am." Even though she couldn't see his face, she just knew that he was grinning, clearly amused by the situation._

 _She folded her arms across her chest. "Perhaps you should come up, then. You've done it before, Benj."_

" _Aye, but to sneak into Abe's room, not to speak with you. I fear it would be highly inappropriate to do so now, given the circumstances."_

 _Lydia sighed. She was too curious to find out what Ben wanted to refuse him. But she would do it on her own terms. "If I fall…" she warned._

" _I'll catch you," Ben chuckled. "I promise."_

 _After chewing her bottom lip in contemplation for a moment, Lydia said, "Just let me grab my cloak." She grabbed her cloak and then hoisted herself onto the ledge of the window. She glanced over her shoulder at the door to her bedroom to make sure no one was watching before she jumped onto the roof of the porch. She then began to climb down the trellis. It would have been much easier if she could see where she was going. Lydia accidentally stepped on her cloak causing her to lose her balance and fall backward._

 _True to his word, Ben easily caught Lydia in his arms and didn't hit the ground. "I told you I'd catch you," he whispered to her. In the darkness, Lydia rolled her eyes before she jumped from Ben's arms. He made sure to steady her, but he had hardly helped her when she brushed his hand away from her. Ben chuckled at her stubbornness, a Woodhull trait she had certainly inherited. "Come on, then," Ben said turning around, slowly beginning to cross the lawn._

" _Benj, where are we going?" Lydia groaned following after him._

 _Over his shoulder, Ben responded, "Come on, Lyddie. Where's your sense of adventure?"_

 _She muttered, "Caleb's been a bad influence on you."_

 _He couldn't help but smile. She might have had a bit of a point, but he could get into trouble all on his own, without Caleb. Ben stopped and turned toward her, the moonlight softly shining against her so that he could barely see her. "Don't you trust me?" he asked her._

 _Lydia folded her arms across her chest. "You know I do."_

 _Ben cocked his head a little before he held his hand out toward her, glancing at her earnestly. For a moment, she just looked at his hand, which was a bit worrisome for Ben. But his worries subsided when she gently placed her hand in his. He gripped her hand before he took off running with Lydia at his side. She breathlessly laughed as she held tightly onto him with one hand while holding the hood of her cloak in place with the other._

 _Lydia was nearly out of breath when Ben finally came to a stop at the cove. The sight of the moon reflecting on the water was bewitching. Still holding onto Ben's hand, she absently leaned against him as she took it in. He glanced down at her and softly smiled before he looked out at the water. "Will you miss Setauket?" Lydia asked before her hand slipped from Ben's and gathering her cloak in her hands._

" _Of course," Ben softly chuckled before going silent for a moment. He then continued, "Some things more than others."_

" _Your brothers?"_

" _Among other things."_

 _Lydia looked up at Ben curiously, but she didn't say anything. She shifted her stance, twigs snapping beneath her as she said, "I'm sure you'll enjoy Yale, Benj." Lydia could see his head nod in the darkness. "I must confess that at time I find myself wishing that I could go away to school like you and Abe. I fear it will be ever so lonesome here."_

" _You were quite fortunate that your father allowed you to be educated alongside Abe. Most members of the fairer sex are not as fortunate."_

" _I know." Feeling slightly chastised, Lydia kicked at the dry leaves on the ground._

 _Not having meant to cause Lydia distress, Ben quickly added, "But perhaps when I return for holidays I might be able to help you continue your studies."_

 _She paused for a moment and smiled at Ben before she responded, "I would like that."_

" _You would?" Ben asked, his tone unable to conceal his sense of shock at her words._

 _Lydia chuckled, "Of course I would. Why would I not?" She looked up at him rather innocently. Her blue eyes glistening in the moonlight._

 _Ben shifted uncomfortably and pushed the stray tendrils of hair that fell on his face behind his ear. "I-I…" he stammered for a moment before making eye contact with Lydia. He sighed. "You're only twelve Lyddie."_

" _I'll be thirteen in November, Benjamin," Lydia stated rather stubbornly as she folded her arms across her chest. Ben shook his head and chuckled under his breath at her response. Her hands then moved to her hips. "And you have only asked to help me continue my studies. Unless there is something of which I am unaware."_

 _Ben was thankful that the darkness covered his flaming face from Lydia's scrutinising gaze. For a brief moment he chewed his bottom lip, pondering whether or not he wanted to proceed. He sighed and stood a little taller, opting not to deter himself. "Lyddie, I-I was wondering if I might be able to write to you while away at Yale."_

 _Lydia's brow furrowed. "Why wouldn't you be able to write me?"_

 _He groaned and shook his head. "No, Lyddie. I-I…"_

 _Again, for a brief moment, Lydia was puzzled. She had never known Ben to be lacking for words. But she quickly caught onto what Benjamin was trying to express. She softly smiled at the fact that Ben wanted to write to her and hoped that maybe it could mean something. Someday._

 _She knew they were both too young yet for anything serious, but perhaps there might be a someday. Ever since she was young, she had been taught to pray for a God-fearing husband and in Lydia's mind there was no one better than the reverend's second son. Although, that meant she had to hope that her father would allow her to marry for love and not out of family obligation, which seemed to be the direction things were headed for Thomas, Lydia's eldest brother._

 _But Lydia knew she was quickly getting ahead of herself with such romantic notions for a girl of twelve, nearly thirteen. Besides, Ben had only asked if he could keep up a correspondence with her. That was all. Nothing more. Although he did look rather nervous standing there, waiting for her answer. Lydia smiled coyly before she evenly responded, "Yes, I suppose that would be all right."_

" _Oh thank the Lord," Ben said rather breathlessly as he leaned over and rested his hands on his knees._

 _Lydia threw her head back and laughed. "You didn't honestly think I'd refuse you, did you?"_

" _No, not initially," Ben commented. "But you sure gave me a fright waiting for your response."_

 _Lydia giggled and looked at Ben as he stood there. At times, having grown up with only brothers seemed to get the better of her. She desperately wanted nothing more than to give Ben a proper shove. He was in the perfect position for one which would send him tumbling to the ground. While her lessons with Widow Browne told her such a thing wasn't ladylike, sometimes she gave over to her impulses. And so, Lydia gave Ben a playful shove and sent him falling to the ground._

 _Ben groaned from the ground as Lydia covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. "Now who's the one acting like Caleb?" Ben questioned playfully as he glanced up at Lydia. She looked shocked that he had actually heard her earlier. "Now you've done it," Ben said as he got to his feet. "Now you've done it."_

 _He lunged for her, but Lydia squealed and took off running through the trees. "There's no use in running, Lyddie! I'm faster than you!" Ben called out as he began to chase after her. The moonlight streaking between the trees, giving them just enough light to run._

" _Then catch me, Benj!" Lydia called over her shoulder before her laugh echoed through the trees. The echo of Ben's laughter entwined with Lydia's mixing with the sound of snapping twigs and rustling leaves._

 _For a moment, Lydia stopped and rested against a tree, panting for air. She listened for Ben's chasing footsteps bounding behind her, but she didn't hear them. The only sounds came from the water lapping the coast. Lydia knew he had to be somewhere close. She peered around the tree and whispered, "Benj?" She listened for a response, but none came. "Benj?" Lydia repeated, only to be met with the same response. She could feel her heart begin to race quickly in nervousness. She hated knowing that the inevitable was coming and there was nothing she could do to predict it more precisely. "This isn't funny, Benjamin."_

 _Seconds later, Ben jumped out of the trees with a shout and wrapped his arms around Lydia from behind. A scream had barely escaped her lips when Ben's hand quickly covered her mouth, muffling it. "I got you," Ben whispered before the hand that covered Lydia's mouth grasped the arm holding her tight. He held tightly onto her before he lifted her and began to spin, laughing as he did so. Ben's laugh was so infectious that Lydia threw her head back against his shoulder and her laughter joined his._

 _Eventually, Ben set Lydia down safely on the ground, but she turned toward him and placed her hands on his forearms to steady herself. When the brief spell of dizziness had past, Lydia, still holding onto Ben, looked up at his face. Lydia's breath slightly hitched as Ben pulled the hood of her cloak down so that it hung down her back. For a moment, neither spoke a word. They just stood there looking at each other, the moonlight casting just enough light for them to see each other._

 _Ben cleared his throat and shifted his stance, causing Lydia's grasp on him to loosen. "I ought to get you home now," he said, shattering the moment they had just shared. But it was a moment Lydia would never forget. Despite the fact that she was only twelve, years later, Lydia would cite as the moment when she completely lost herself to the spell Benjamin Tallmadge had somehow placed on her._

 _Like a good gentleman, Ben offered Lydia his arm. She accepted his arm and together they began the trek back to Whitehall with the moonlight guiding their way. Their walk back was a rather silent affair. Neither Ben nor Lydia were quite sure what to say to the other, but they both appreciated the nearness of the other's company, knowing that was all about to change._

 _Back at Whitehall, Ben and Lydia slowly approached the back porch for Lydia to climb back up. Neither really wanted the night to come to an end, but alas it must. "I'll be sure to see you before I leave for New Haven. Good night, Lyddie," Ben said with a hint of melancholy in his voice._

" _Good night, Benj," Lydia responded with a near identical hint in her voice. "God bless."_

" _God bless," Ben responded before he helped Lydia onto the trellis, holding the bottom of her cloak up for her so that she didn't step on it and fall like before. She was a few steps up when something Ben didn't quite understand overtook. "Lyddie, wait," he whispered._

 _With a look of confusion on her face, Lydia turned her head to face Ben. She blinked at him rather innocently as he stood there with his head cocked and his jaw set. His expression was rather intense. Then his look softened and he seemed somewhat unsure of himself as his whole body bobbed left, then right, then left again before his head suddenly propelled toward hers. Ben's lips placed a gentle kiss on Lydia's cheek before he pulled away, looking rather sheepish. He slowly backed away wondering if he had been too forward._

 _But Lydia only motioned him to come closer with her index finger. Ben slowly plodded forward, closing the distance between them. Having known Lydia her entire life, Ben knew that she wasn't afraid of slapping any cad who had even dared to be as forward as he had just been. She had done a lot worse to boys who had done far less and he had seen it happen. So needless to say, he was surprised when she returned the favour and gently kissed his cheek. Ben couldn't help but smile as his hand immediately covered the place where she had kissed him. And instead of ruining the moment with any words he would likely manage to stumble over, Ben retreated from Whitehall._

* * *

~*~ Autumn 1776~*~

Lydia sat downstairs in front of the fire working on her needlepoint when her father returned from having visited Abraham at his farm. It was because of her father that Abraham had been released. Yet, Selah Strong still remained imprisoned. News of the incident had spread like wildfire through the town.

After the chain of events that had taken place earlier, Lydia knew she was next to bear the weight of her father's disappointment. While she hadn't really done anything wrong by the law, the daughter of the town magistrate had a certain image to upkeep. It was an image Lydia wasn't entirely keen on upholding, but as long as she lived under her father's roof she required his protection which meant she had to abide by his rules.

"What were you and Abraham thinking?" Richard Woodhull hissed as he stood directly in front of his daughter. Lydia timidly bowed her head, refusing to make eye contact with her father. "I demand an answer, Lydia!"

Lydia slowly exhaled and looked up at her father. So rarely had she been the one on this end of this type of conversation. It was almost always Abraham. Occasionally, Thomas. But rarely was it her. Lydia was far better at keeping secrets and not getting caught than her brothers. But Thomas was gone. God bless his soul. So, naturally the position was hers to fill. Lydia chewed her bottom lip for a moment, carefully choosing the words she would speak to her father. "I know not my brother's thoughts, but Father, you know I sell baked goods to Missus Strong for the soldiers," she said firmly.

One thing Lydia knew to be true about a good lie or ruse was that it needed to seem as if there was a sense of transparency. When she first started selling goods, she made sure her father was privy to what she was doing. Even though the reason she gave him was a false one. "It's my way to show a small token of my gratitude for the protection they offer. If there's one place nearly all the soldiers frequent, it's Strong's Tavern."

Richard Woodhull sighed and shook his head. "I don't like you anywhere near that tavern. That is no place for a daughter of mine."

"But it's fine for someone else's daughter?" Lydia immediately regretted her quick response. Normally, she was so careful with her words as far as her father was concerned, but sometimes her temperament matched the colour of her hair. But before her father could reprimand her, Lydia apologised, hanging her head. "I am sorry, Father. I should not have spoken to you like that. Please forgive me, Father."

"No, you should not have," Richard agreed, folding his arms across his chest and narrowing his eyes at his daughter. Lydia glanced up at her father rather innocently and Richard sighed. He could never stay cross at his daughter for long. Richard took a few steps and sat down on the chair beside his daughter. For a moment, he held his head in his hands and sighed. "It's times like this that make me feel like a failure as your father. If only your mother..."

Lydia reached out and gently rested her hand on her father's hand. "Father, you mustn't be too hard on yourself. None of this was your fault. It was..." Her father cut her off before she could finish.

"Perhaps, if I had only raised you better." He paused for a moment before broaching the next subject, which he knew his daughter was going to object to. "Or perhaps if you had a husband."

"Father, we've discussed that matter several times," Lydia said flatly before she removed her hand from her father's. Sometimes it seemed like he wanted to make up for his own shortcomings raising her, by pushing her off on a husband for him to fix. "I've told you, I'll marry once you remarry. There needs to be a woman managing Whitehall."

Richard shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "This is about that Tallmadge boy, isn't it?"

 _Of course, it was_. But she couldn't tell him that.

"I wish not to talk about him." While that wasn't entirely true, it was true that she didn't wish to talk about Ben with her father. Feeling the heat beginning to creep up into her cheeks, Lydia slightly fanned at her face with her hand.

Richard nodded his head before he mumbled, "I was right to refuse him when he asked for your hand."

Lydia's brow furrowed. "What? When was this?" she asked trying to sound cool and collected despite the pang within her. Never once had she heard mention of Ben asking her father to marry her. Never. Neither from Ben nor her father. While she always knew her father would never give Ben permission, it still came as a bit of a shock to know that he had tried.

"He had intended to marry you upon his completion of Yale. But I refused to give him permission when he asked. You were much too young and he had no means to support you. And it's a good thing I didn't, the way he's chosen to sully himself. I always knew there was something wrong with him."

Lydia bit her tongue as her father continued his long-winded tirade against Ben. She didn't listen what he said about Ben, she just listened for him to go quiet for a moment. When her father quieted for a moment to catch his breath, Lydia turned to him and said, "Father, after all the... _excitement_...of today, I find myself rather weary. I was wondering if I might retire for the evening."

'Yes, yes, of course," her father responded. Lydia stood and walked over to him and pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek. He softly smiled and patted her cheek. "Good night, my Lydia."

"Good night, Father. God bless." Lydia pressed one more kiss against her father's cheek before she retired to her bedroom for the night. Part of Lydia wished she could run up the stairs much like she had when she was a child, chasing after her brothers Abraham and Thomas. But that certainly wasn't proper and proprietary seemed to be of utmost importance since the British has come to Setauket.

Once inside her bedroom, she shut the door behind her and leaned against it for a moment, listening. She wanted to make sure that no one was following her. Not that she really expected anyone to, but she couldn't let anyone see what she was about to do next. It might reveal things she was trying to keep hidden. After a moment of listening, Lydia tiptoed across the room to her bed. She knelt to the floor as she would in prayer, but she didn't fold her hands and bow her head. Instead, her fingers wrapped around a loose floorboard beneath her bed which she then gently pulled up.

Beneath that floorboard were all her correspondences with Benjamin since he had left for Yale in the Autumn of '69. She had kept every single one of his letters. While their letters had become somewhat less frequent since the start of the war, Lydia still treasured each one. Her fingers traced over the stack of letters delicately before she searched for the letters from Ben's last year at Yale. While she was certain she had treasured each of Ben's words, she couldn't help but think she had missed him telling her he had talked to her father about being wed.

Upon finding the letters, she pulled them from the floor and set them on her bed before changing into her nightclothes, which were far more comfortable than the corset she currently wore. When she was changed, she crawled onto her bed and leaned against the pillows she had propped up to read through Ben's words to her.

As she read Ben's words, her heart hurt. Her feelings for him almost overwhelmed her. She didn't want to be separated from him any longer. Lydia felt they had been separated long enough as it was, what with Benjamin attending Yale, then taking up a teaching post, and enlisting to serve under Washington. It seemed like they had hardly even seen each other these last few years, but her heart longed for him. And she trusted that he pined for her as well.

Lydia groaned when she finished the last letter in her pile. Nowhere had there been a single mention of him talking to her father for her hand. But the tone of his letters did seem a little more melancholy after the Christmas holiday when he had returned to visit Setauket. Lydia could only surmise _that_ was when Ben had spoken with her father on the matter. Her heart ached for him, for the pain he must have felt at her father's denial. But it wasn't as if they had heeded Richard Woodhull's wishes.

Carefully, Lydia put Ben's letter back beneath the floorboard. She made sure to put them back in order because it made things much easier to read them again. Her hand grazed against a small leather pouch. Lydia then pulled out the last letter she had received from him and put the floorboard back in place. She clutched the letter to her chest as she crawled back onto her bed. It had been over a fortnight since she had heard back from him. While she knew that Ben was busy with the war effort, she couldn't help but wonder if he was still living. Lydia ran her fingers over his valediction and signature.

 _Ardently yours,_

 _Benj_

Tears pricked her eyes. Gently she dabbed at them with her sleeve. She knew that crying over him wouldn't bring him back to her any faster nor would it keep him any safer. Instead, she got down on her knees and prayed to the Lord. She prayed for Ben. She prayed that he was safe and that the Lord would watch over him. She prayed that one day Ben would come home to her and that they could finally be a family. Lydia then prayed for her brother Abe. She prayed that his crop might somehow be salvaged. She prayed for his wife Mary and his son Thomas. She prayed for Anna Strong...and Selah.

Lydia's eyes flew open when her prayers turned toward Selah. She looked over her shoulder to see the rain pouring outside her window. A burden of guilt weighed heavily against her. Had she not gone into the tavern to visit Anna, she could have avoided the scene with Lieutenant Simcoe and Selah might still be free. She felt responsible for his current condition and she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep with her conscience in its current condition.

So, she quickly redressed, sans corset and threw a cloak on to help cover herself from the downpour. She then walked to her window and slowly opened it, fully intending to sneak out it. While she wasn't an amateur to sneaking out her window, both her brothers Thomas and Abraham had used her window far more than she had. Carefully, she maneuvered herself herself onto the roof of the porch. That part wasn't too difficult. It was shimming down the porch that was rather difficult, especially with all the petticoats. Lydia had a feeling it was far easier in breeches because the boys always made it look effortless. Although, she had learned to keep her cloak bunched in one hand so that she wouldn't trip over it.

Under the cover of darkness, Lydia quietly escaped from Whitehall. She pulled her cloak tight as the rain pelted against her face. Despite the dangers she could face for being out after curfew, Lydia was determined to get to the stocks to see Selah. Although with all this rain, she suspected that the sentry would likely be keeping dry in Reverend Tallmadge's former church.

Her suspicions were confirmed as she approached the stocks. No one with a lick of common sense would want to be doing sentry duty in the pouring rain. As Lydia drew closer, Selah took notice of someone drawing nearer to him. "Who goes there," he shouted.

"It's Lydia, Selah," Lydia stated as she untied the ribbon to her cloak. For a brief moment, she uncovered herself, feeling the rain beat upon her, before she manoeuvred her cloak so that it covered both her and Selah.

Selah was quiet for a few moments, appreciating the fact that the rain wasn't pounding against his face. He then cleared his throat and said, "What are you doing here, Lydia? You shouldn't be here."

"I'll take that as your gratitude, Selah. You're welcome."

"First your brother, now you. Can't you Woodhulls stay out of trouble?"

"Abraham was here?"

"Aye. He tells me that I'm to be sent to the Jersey. The Redcoats don't want to hang anyone in secure territory."

Lydia's brow furrowed for a moment as a tendril of hair spilt in front of her face. She blew it out of the way with a puff of air. The guilt weighed heavily on her heart. Lydia's voice broke as she spoke, "Selah, I'm so sorry. For everything. I-I…"

"It wasn't your fault, Lydia," Selah sighed. "You did nothing wrong."

"I-I never should have come in the tavern." Lydia could feel the warm, sticky tears streaming down her cheeks. "Perhaps, if I hadn't, none of this would have happened.

"Nay, Lydia, you mustn't think like that. Mine and Anna's friends should always be welcome at our home and establishment. Besides, you know about the promise I made to Ben, Lydia. I do not regret defending you from Simcoe. I only regret that I will not be able to continue to keep my promise to Ben. I know how much you both trusted me."

Lydia sniffled. "Ben will understand, Selah. I-I'll write him. Perhaps there's something he can do."

"I'm not a soldier, Lydia."

"No, but you're a friend. That must count for something."

Selah was quiet for a moment, pondering her words. He then asked, "Have you heard from him recently?"

Lydia chewed her bottom lip for a moment. "No," she said, her voice faltering. "This is the longest he's gone without writing me. I-I find myself fearing that..."

"Hush, Lyddie," Selah chided. "You mustn't think like that. Not now."

"Sorry, Selah. You're absolutely right. Your current cross to bear is heavier than mine."

"It has nothing to do with crosses. You need to stay of clear mind. If not…" Selah's voice trailed off. But Lydia knew exactly what he was trying to tell her and he was right. If she became too preoccupied by other things, she could place herself in even more danger and she was already in plenty as it was. Lydia sighed and Selah spoke once more. "You keep an eye on Anna for me, you hear? She's going to be needing your friendship now more than ever with me imprisoned on the Jersey."

"Of course, Selah. But I would have done it anyway, without you asking."

"Now, get back to Whitehall before you are found out, Lydia."

Even though she knew Selah couldn't see her in the darkness, despite being only feet from him, Lydia nodded her head in agreement. She quickly returned her cloak to its proper position, feeling bad that Selah now had to go back to enduring the rain. "Good-bye, Selah. Thank you for all you've done for me. May God bless you." With that Lydia took off in a sprint toward home, mud splashing against her dress. It was likely that the dress was now ruined, but in the grand scheme of things the dress wasn't all that important. But to be honest, given the sad state of affairs, Lydia wasn't all that sure what _was_ important anymore.

The next morning, Lydia went about Whitehall tidying up. Aberdeen kept the house clean, but with several prominent women of Setauket coming over for a sewing circle _they_ had decided _she_ should hold, she knew that they were bound to pass judgment on her. Especially her housekeeping skills. They were truly a bunch of no-good busybodies at times, but that was the lot in life she had been cast. Lydia wished she could invite Anna to the gathering, but it would be deemed highly inappropriate given Anna's family's allegiances and her husband being arrested as a traitor to the Crown. Her only consolation was that her sister-in-law Mary had promised to come and bring Lydia's nephew along with her.

Lydia was glad to see the wagon driven by Ensign Baker, carrying Mary and Thomas pull up in front of the house. Mary had offered to come over early and help Lydia make sure everything looked proper. Lydia thought Mary to be a very good sister. Although at times, she found herself wishing her brother Thomas had lived and married Mary so then Lydia could have had both Mary _and_ Anna for sisters, but fate hadn't been so kind.

"Good morning," Lydia said as she approached the wagon and lifted her arms in the air to grab Thomas. Mary smiled and greeted her sister-in-law back as she placed her son in Lydia's arms. Lydia snuggled her nephew close and kissed him all over his face, making him giggle.

"You'll make a very good mother someday," Mary said as Ensign Baker helped her down to the ground.

Lydia looked at her sister-in-law knowingly with a slight smirk on her face. "And for that, I'd require a husband first," she retorted.

Mary thanked Ensign Baker and then glanced at Lydia with a knowing expression. "And perhaps if you took a look around you, you'd see there are plenty of fine, eligible men who would be more than willing to take your hand in marriage."

Ensign Baker smiled sheepishly behind Mary. Lydia didn't miss his response. She then turned around and walked toward the house with Mary, still holding onto Thomas. Lydia stopped for a moment on the stairs and glanced over her shoulder to see that Ensign Baker was still standing there, watching them. She sighed and nodded at him in acknowledgement. "Have a good day, Ensign Baker."

"You as well, Miss Woodhull," Ensign Baker said with a grin on his face.

Lydia turned back around and rolled her eyes for Mary to see. "That was just cruel," Lydia whispered to her sister before pressing another kiss against Thomas's cheek.

Mary smiled. "What? Ensign Baker's a fine man. Albeit a fine man in need of a woman's guiding hand." Lydia knew there was a story there, but now wasn't the time to ask. She wanted to stay on the subject at hand.

"That may very well be, but it was cruel to give him any measure of hope." Mary glanced at Lydia curiously, so Lydia felt the need to clarify as to not draw any suspicions. "I have nothing against the man, but do you really think he'd pass Richard Woodhull's muster?" Lydia glanced over her shoulder once more to see Ensign Baker wave as he drove away. "My father would never give him the time of day. He wouldn't make a very advantageous match, I'm afraid."

Mary sighed, knowing that Lydia was right, but hoping that there was reason to hope. "You never know. Perhaps Father will surprise you."

"Somehow, I highly doubt that." Lydia kissed Thomas one last time before she set him down on a quilt in the corner of the room. She wiped her hands on her apron and straightened her stance. "How is Abe doing?" Lydia asked.

Mary's brow furrowed. "He was gone before I woke this morning. He didn't say where he was going. You haven't seen him have you?"

Lydia cleared her throat. "Not since yesterday." She hung her head slightly, knowing that Mary disapproved of any sort of acquaintance with the Strongs. Not that Lydia was feeling ashamed of her acquaintance, but over the fact that she had helped cause Selah's distress. Thankfully, Mary didn't push the issue any further. They simply set to work with the final touches before the prominent women of Setauket arrived. The women hadn't even arrived yet and Lydia was already looking forward to them leaving.

The following day, Lydia hung the laundry she had washed that morning on the line to dry. Worry began to eat away at her. As far as she knew, Abraham was still missing. Gone without a word. He was now suspected of killing Captain Joyce, the officer who had joined in the row at the tavern. From what Lydia had gathered eavesdropping on her father and Major Hewlett's conversation, Joyce's throat had been slit. Certainly a gruesome way to die. Selah had been carted-off _and_ she still hadn't heard from Benj. It almost felt like everything was falling apart. But she had to remain strong. She had a part to play.

Lydia hung a sheet on the line when she a silhouette appeared on the sheet drawing nearer. She glanced on the other side to find her brother walking toward her. Without a second thought, Lydia sprinted toward her brother, closing the distance between them. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Oh, thank the Lord," Lydia whispered before she released him. "We've been so worried about you. Where have you been?"

Abraham raised an eyebrow at his sister. "I think you're the last person who should be asking questions, Lyddie," he said.

Lydia scoffed and looked at her brother in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I have some questions of my own. For example, why do I have a letter for you from Ben Tallmadge?" Abe produced a letter from the pocket of his jacket and held it between his fingers, glancing at his sister with slightly narrowed eyes. "Hmm?"

Lydia slowly gulped, unsure of how to respond. She knew Abe was going to demand a response and to be honest, she wasn't sure _how_ to respond to his question. Could she trust him? Lydia slowly exhaled and covered folded her arms across her chest pondering how to proceed because everything she had carefully crafted the last few years seemed like it was about to come crashing down around her.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** **Annnnnd here's another chapter! Life's been SO busy lately. I really hope y'all enjoyed it! As much as this story kinda terrifies me, I love it and Lydia to pieces. :) It'll be a bit before Ben comes into the "present" storyline-so, I hope the flashbacks suffice. Thanks for all the love and support everyone has shown this story! It really means the world to me! Thanks to everyone who has read/reviewed/favorited/followed. Thanks! :) There's a trailer for this story on my profile. Also, there are edits and such on my tumblr: missjanuarylily. Hope y'all are doing well! :)**

 _And a special thanks to nixdragon and Renny Autumn for putting up with my crazy and offering me reassurances on the chapter! :)_


	3. Loyalties

**Chapter 3: Loyalties**

* * *

Lydia straightened her stance and pursed her lips as her brother stood there looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite read. She had been sure not to talk about Ben with Abe since she had _supposedly_ ended things with the love of her life. It wasn't that she was particularly fond of the idea of keeping things from her brother, but he _might_ speak with their father and then things would certainly be ruined. Sadly, Lydia loved Ben more than she trusted her brother at this point. With the British occupying Setauket, Lydia wasn't quite sure where Abe stood on the matter. As far as she knew, Abe was as Tory as her father-something Lydia was not. Ben's enthusiasm for the cause was plain as day in his letters and it had seeped into her very core. Ben's views were hers. And now with Abe standing before her, she was quite worried.

Abraham and Lydia had never quite seen eye to eye growing up. Poor Abe often had to fight for attention from their father, whose attention was usually occupied by Thomas, his eldest son, or Lydia, his only daughter. And because of this, Abe often looked for ways to make trouble for Lydia. Lydia knew Abe loved her. They were siblings after all. But the sibling rivalry had been quite strong between the two of them. It was usually Ben or Caleb that helped even his demeanor toward her. But when left to their own devices, Lydia and Abe could be quite stubborn and unwilling to cave for the other.

"Lydia, answer me," Abraham said rather sternly with an expression to match his tone.

She scoffed and placed her hands on her hips, deciding to continue the ruse. "How should I know why Benjamin Tallmadge would be writing to me?"

Abe glanced at his sister and shook his head. "Before you continue any further, you should know that Ben didn't seal his letter. And I..."

Lydia's brow furrowed for a moment before her face contorted in anger. "You read _my_ letter?" she hissed at her brother. She reached to snatch the letter from him, but he quickly moved his hand with the letter behind his back. Having played this game with him before, Lydia made move to embrace her brother in a hug, so that she might grab her letter. But Abraham anticipated her move. He then held the letter above his head. His few inches of extra height made it nearly impossible for Lydia to retrieve the letter. "Hand it over, Abraham," Lydia groaned as she made an attempt to jump for the letter.

"Answer me true, Lydia and I shall give you your letter." Lydia slowly backed away from her brother, glancing up at him. Unsure of whether or not to believe him. Abe made eye contact with his sister. "There was once a time when we could tell each other anything, Lyddie."

She threw her head back and laughed. "Ha! There was never a time like that, Abe. The time you're referring to is a time when you'd go behind my back and tell Father any transgression I confessed to in your presence."

"Aye, that may be," Abe sighed. "But truthfully, it rarely ever worked out in my favour." Abraham gave his sister a sheepish smile which made her sigh.

"What is it you wish to know, Abraham?" Lydia asked with her arms folded across her chest defensively.

Abe shifted his stance, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching or listening to them. "How long have you been in contact with Ben?" he asked just above a whisper.

Lydia pulled a stray tendril of hair behind her ear before she looked at her brother and smiled. "You make it sound like there's a time I ever stopped corresponding with him." Abe looked at his sister rather curiously, almost gobsmacked. This only widened Lydia's smile. "I have been writing Ben since he was at Yale and I haven't stopped." Lydia's expression saddened. "Although, this is the longest I have gone without a letter from him. So, depending on when that letter you hold in your possession is dated, he could very well be dead."

"He's alive," Abe whispered in his sister's ear. His words sent shivers down her spine. "I personally received your letter from Ben himself, yesterday."

Almost immediately, Lydia became much more animated. "You did? Where? How? How is he? How did he look? Did he ask about me?" Lydia glanced up at her brother. Abe was shocked to see the turnaround in his sister. She blushed and chewed her bottom lip, directing her gaze toward the grass.

Abe shook his head and cleared his throat before he spoke. "He's a Connecticut dragoon now, all done up in blue and gold and got a shiny helmet. But I suppose you already knew that."

Lydia blushed again. "I've never seen him in his uniform." She paused for a moment before she asked her brother, "Did he look handsome in his uniform?" Abe looked at his sister rather incredulously. Sometimes he forgot that despite the fact that she grew up only surrounded by men, she was still quite feminine. Lydia groaned. "C'mon, Abe. You must give me _something_. I haven't seen him since…" Lydia paused once more. Another secret. But she continued, "I haven't seen him since before he joined on." Her bottom lip jutted out. Lydia knew Abe could only rarely refuse her with her like that.

And just as she predicted, Abe groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I suppose he looked rather dapper," he confessed which made Lydia grin and giggle a bit. Abe couldn't remember the last time he saw his sister like this. He had grown used to what he now knew was a facade. "You're in love with him as much as you ever were, aren't you?"

His words struck her and the facade immediately fell over Lydia once more as she straightened her stance. She held her hand out before she coolly asked, "My letter, please." She was quite upset with herself that she had allowed herself to relax around her brother. Especially when he could very well go to their father with the information she had just divulged.

Abe noticed the immediate change in his sister. The transitory carefree camaraderie between them had suddenly vanished and was replaced by a wall of Lydia's building. Things between them had always been complicated. More complicated than it probably should be and he knew he bore the brunt of that burden. Abe slowly exhaled. It was now no wonder to him that his sister had managed to keep her secret this long. She had grown into quite the actress.

Slowly, he extended the letter toward his sister and placed it in her open hand. Lydia's fingers slowly curled around the letter before she slipped it into the pocket of her apron and attempted to busy herself once again with the laundry.

"You-eh-might as well read that while I'm present," Abe said, folding his arms across his chest.

"I'll read it when I'm good and ready, Abraham," Lydia retorted rather snidely as she hung one of her petticoats on the line.

Abe sighed. "We're going to need to talk once you read the letter, Lydia. And if it makes you feel any better, Ben knew I was going to read the letter. He told me as much when I was with him."

Lydia grabbed Major Hewlett's red coat from the basket to hang on the line. "And why were you with Ben in the first place?"

"I'll be honest with you…"

"Looks like there's a first time for everything," Lydia muttered to herself as she pinned the red coat to the line. "Although, given the way the town gossip has been churning, I wouldn't be surprised if you confessed to Captain Joyce's death."

Abe grabbed his sister's arm and turned her toward him. He would have expected a look of surprise on her face, but _he_ was the one surprised when he saw her hardened expression. "Listen here, I had nothing to do with Captain Joyce's death," Abe hissed. "I didn't even know about it until I returned from having sold some of my cabbage on the black trade before being captured by the Continentals."

Lydia arched an eyebrow. "You were taken by the Continentals? _You_? And they just happened to let you go?"

Abe sighed. "That's where Tallmadge comes in."

Slowly, Lydia blinked almost in disbelief. It took her a few seconds to process his words, but she finally choked out, "Ben got you out? How?"

Abe released his sister's arm and shook his head. "Well, if you'd have read the bloody letter, you'd already know."

Lydia folded her arms across her chest and glanced at her brother with a stubborn expression. She impatiently tapped her foot for a few moments before she swiftly turned on her heel and headed toward the house. Abe quickly caught her arm. Lydia whirled toward her brother and glared at him, the anger quite evident on her face. "I don't require your assistance to read, Abraham," Lydia hissed. "I was only going to sit on the stoop. So, I suggest you unhand me."

She didn't even need to finish her threat. Reading his sister's expression clearly, Abraham removed his hand from his sister's arm and watched as she walked away, her blue skirts shuffling with every step she took. Once she reached the stoop into the back of the house, Lydia carefully sat down, adjusting her skirts. She glanced at her brother, who still stood beside the laundry before she pulled the letter _supposedly_ from Ben. While she hoped the letter truly was from Ben, part of her couldn't fathom Abe delivering her such a thing.

But once she unfolded the letter she immediately recognized Ben's familiar scrawl. For a moment, Lydia closed her eyes and held the letter over her heart as a wave of emotions hit her. Tears stung at her eyes and the days of worrying seemed to reside. Ben was all right. At least, for now. Lydia wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her dress before she set the letter back on her lap and began to read.

 _Dearest,_

 _If you are reading this letter, it means that things with your brother have gone favourably and that he is going to require your assistance. He has been granted permission to divulge information about the task at hand. I trust he will brief you fully. Once that has been done, you are to assist only. I repeat-assist only. I will not have you putting yourself in harm's way more than is absolutely necessary. I must confess that I am even hesitant to ask as much as I already am, but we both know how he can be-at times needing guidance toward who he really is and what is right. I have complete confidence in your abilities to gently steer him if need be._

For a moment, Lydia stopped reading and glanced up toward her brother. "What is it Ben has asked you to do?"

Abe shrugged and responded, "Nothing of importance."

Lydia studied her brother carefully. She knew he was lying. Not only because Ben's letter told her otherwise, but because she had known her brother long enough to know when he was lying. He was purposely holding back, meaning that she was going to have to prod the information out of him until he was truthful. Lydia slipped the letter she hadn't finished reading into her apron pocket and crossed the yard toward her brother. "Come now, Abraham. Let us be honest with each other. You gave me this letter. You would have hidden it from me if you were not at least considering it."

Abe folded his arms across his chest. "Simcoe. Why have you not told me about him? Why is it I had to hear of your troubles with him from Anna Strong?"

"Simcoe?" Lydia questioned. "What does he have to do with what Ben wants you to do?"

"Everything at this point," Abe said dropping his voice. His expression grew much more serious. More serious than Lydia could ever remember seeing him. "Has he touched you?"

Lydia shuddered for a second before she responded, "Not yet. I have been careful to avoid being anywhere with him alone. But sometimes I fear that if we ever were alone…" Lydia's voice trailed off and her hand covered her mouth. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it. "He seems like a man who knows how to get what he wants and I don't…" Once again, she couldn't bring herself to finish.

But Abe seemed to understand. He closed the distance between them and embraced his sister. For a moment, he just held her. "Ben tried to recruit me for a secret mission. I wasn't intending to do it, but I fear that I must to protect you and Anna from that beast."

"Anna?" Lydia asked, slowly backing away from her brother.

"Aye, he's being billeted with her now that he's purchased Joyce's commission."

Lydia gasped and threw her hands over her mouth. With Selah gone, who knew what that vile man was going to do to Anna and that didn't make Lydia any safer. Thus far, it had always been Selah who had interceded on her behalf. Lydia wished the British would just go away and leave them alone. It was men like Simcoe who solidified her stance as a patriot. Lydia wrapped the shawl she had discarded on the ground around her shoulders. "So, what are you going to do and how does it involve Ben?"

"I-I'm not sure yet." Lydia's brow furrowed at her brother's response. Abe must have noticed her dissatisfaction before he whispered, "But I shall be back for dinner tonight by orders of Major Hewlett to further discuss my crime and punishment. Perhaps by then..."

"By then, I could sneak into his room and see if there is anything worth our while."

"No!" Abraham hissed. He surprised his sister by grabbing her by her shoulders and giving her a firm shake. "Did you not read Ben's letter? You are to be assisting _nothing more_. Do you understand Lydia?" His gaze was so intense it practically bore through her. Lydia slowly nodded her head to calm her brother down before Aberdeen took notice of them from inside.

Satisfied with Lydia's response, Abe released his sister. He cleared his throat and tugged at his cravat. "I must hie myself home. I'm sure Mary and Sprout must be worried by now. I will be back later." Abraham eyed his sister. Lydia knew his last phrase was a warning, not a mere statement. Again, she nodded her head. And with that, Abraham took his leave.

Lydia watched Abraham walk away until he was out of view. She then quickly set to work checking if any of Major Hewlett's articles of clothing were dry. Abraham might have forbade her from _sneaking_ into Major Hewlett's room, but he mentioned nothing of her going in there to deliver his laundry where she could perhaps _stumble_ across something important. Several pieces that had been hung earlier were dry. Lydia took those items off the line and tossed them into the basket before she scurried inside with the basket on her hip.

She had just closed the door behind her when Aberdeen called to her from the kitchen. Lydia exhaled a puff of air that blew a stray tendril of hair from her face before she walked into the kitchen to see Aberdeen. "You called?" Lydia said evenly, still balancing the basket against her hip.

"Was that Mister Abe I saw you with outside?" Aberdeen asked, looking up from the food she was preparing over the fire.

Lydia nodded her head. She knew that the best way to conceal the truth was to actually divulge _some_ truth. "Abe wanted to let me know that he'd be joining Father, myself, and the major for dinner tonight. I hope that shall not be too much trouble for you."

"Nay, Miss Lydia. I'm just glad to see Mister Abe alive and well the way the town gossip has been churning." Aberdeen smiled softly before she began to chop another potato to add to the ones already simmering.

Lydia cleared her throat. "Well, I best get to this laundry, but if you're in need of my assistance Aberdeen, just call." Lydia offered the woman a small smile before she swiftly turned on her heel and walked upstairs. While Lydia knew that what she was doing defied her brother...and Ben, she felt compelled to do so. Besides, as far as excuses go, laundry was a fairly plausible one, should she be caught.

Once upstairs, Lydia knocked on Major Hewlett's door to verify that he hadn't suddenly slipped-in while she had been with Abe. When no response came, she twisted the doorknob and walked into the room. She set the basket on the bed and glanced around the room. The room had once belonged to Lydia's eldest brother Thomas. Thomas would probably be proud that his old bedroom not housed a major of the Royal Army. And if that were true, Lydia couldn't help but think that he would be disappointed with her and her Rebel leanings. But alas, God had deemed fit to call Thomas home to him and Lydia was still attempting to fulfill her time of grace here on earth. And she whether she be damned or not, she would do what she could to help Ben.

Slowly, Lydia glanced at the major's desk. Thomas's things had been removed and replaced with the major's. Judging by the books on the desk, Major Hewlett was a man with a strong admiration for the finer things in life...especially the stars. Lydia's hands traced along the edges of the books when she found something strange stacked between two books. It outside made it look like it was a book, but there were no pages and the bottom was cut out. Inside was what looked like a tin piece of paper with holes cut out.

Her brow furrowed. She knew what this was. It was a Cardan grille. She had first learned of them from Ben, who told her that sometimes he and his friends at Yale would code their correspondence for fun. He had shown her how it worked with a letter from his friend Nathan Hale. For a time, Ben and Lydia had even used such methods to enclose meeting times in their correspondence while he was home in the summers.

Lydia pulled the grille from its compartment and tried it on the three letters on the corner of the desk, but it was to no avail. There was no hidden message in any of the letters. Although, she should have known that the major wouldn't be so careless as to let an important letter like that lie around. Not to mention that none of the letters seemed to come from anyone of importance. But Lydia didn't allow that to discourage her. While there might not be any information the grille was just as important. If the Rebels had a copy of the grille the British were currently using, it would be to their advantage...at least until they changed grilles.

So, Lydia carefully pulled a fresh sheet of paper from one of the desk drawers. She then traced the holes of the grille onto the paper before she folded it and slipped into the pocket with Ben's letter. She then put everything back into its proper place before she moved back to the discarded laundry. Lydia quickly folded the laundry and left it at the edge of the bed before she exited the major's room.

Lightly, her feet trod across the wooden floorboards until she reached her bedroom. She carelessly tossed the empty basket to the floor before she sat down on the sill of one the windows in her room. She slipped her shoes off her feet before she brought those up to rest on the sill as well before she pulled Ben's letter from her apron. She hadn't yet a chance to finish it and now seemed as good a time as any.

 _I pray this letter finds you well, my dearest. I apologise for it being so long since my last correspondence. There were circumstances beyond my control prohibiting me from getting word out to you. You should know that you were never far from my thoughts and it was my desire to hold you in my arms just once more that helped me to persevere in the face of much adversity. I shall not go into detail, not wanting to cause you more distress than necessary. For now, know that I am safe and I eagerly await being reunited with you once more._

 _Ardently yours,_

 _Benj_

Lydia sighed as her fingers traced Ben's signature. Then a small smile played her face. He knew her too well. He knew that she would do something more than simply assist Abe and he knew that she would worry about him. Sometimes, she couldn't help but wonder if Ben knew her better than she knew herself.

Upon hearing the front door open and close, Lydia quickly scampered to the loose floorboard. She placed the letter from Ben in its proper place. The copy of the grille would be housed there temporarily until she was sure of how to get it to Ben. Lydia then grabbed the basket and walked downstairs to greet her father who stood in the hall, waiting for her as she descended. When she approached him, she pressed a kiss on his cheek before she looked up at him. "Abraham stopped by earlier and mentioned he would be joining us for dinner. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of telling Aberdeen."

Richard chuckled as he stepped forward and kissed Lydia's cheek. "You have become quite the lady, Lydia. Running Whitehall with grace and beauty as your mother did before. I must confess that I will be quite saddened to see you leave to run your own household."

"It's a good thing you have nothing to worry about then," Lydia responded rather coyly, not wanting to debate her father on the subject _again_. "My place is here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do believe I have laundry on the line that needs to be put away." With that Lydia nodded her head and walked toward the door to do just as she said.

That evening, dinner was a rather somber occasion. Lydia ate her pork and potatoes quietly as Abraham just pushed his food around on his plate while Richard Woodhull and Major Hewlett conversed. Lydia kicked her brother under the table like she had countless times as a child. He quickly glanced at her and she nodded toward his plate for him to eat something. While she couldn't be sure what was bothering him, Lydia knew that if Abe wasn't more careful he could give them away. He wasn't nearly as subtle as she was. Abe rolled his eyes and took a small bite of pork.

Major Hewlett was the first to finish eating. He dabbed his napkin at the corner of his lips before he declared, "Excellent, as always."

"Credit goes to Aberdeen," Richard said with a nod. "I merely raise the pork. She performs the alchemy. Although I do believe it was Lydia who made the bread." He glanced at his daughter knowingly. Lydia's face slightly flushed as she nodded her head and smoothed the napkin on her lap.

"It's very good, Miss Woodhull," Major Hewlett praised with a smile on his face. Lydia nodded her head once again. Accepting praise wasn't something that came naturally to her. She was never quite sure where the line was between humility and pride. Hewlett then glanced at Abraham. "You've hardly touched yours," he said to him.

Abe pushed a piece of meat on his plate with his knife before he glanced up at Major Hewlett. "It's hard to eat on a guilty stomach, I suppose. My apologies." Abe then looked at his father. Richard Woodhull nodded his head at his son before glancing at Major Hewlett.

Hewlett nodded his head before he spoke. "Abraham, what I could not say earlier from my pulpit, as it were, is that I view your crime as a mere symptom of a more serious disease that is afflicting these colonies…"

Richard cleared his throat rather loudly, side-glancing at Lydia. Major Hewlett's mouth formed an _o_ as he looked at Lydia. Lydia chuckled and shook her head. Of course her father considered the conversation that was about to take place unsuitable for a member of the fairer sex. So, she would take her leave. Besides, her father or Abe were bound to tell her eventually.

Lydia set her napkin on the table. "I can see when my presence isn't required," she said gently resting her hand on her father's. "Might I please be excused?" Richard smiled sweetly at his daughter and nodded his head. She stood and said, "I shall be upstairs reading my Bible if anyone requires me." Lydia made eye contact with Abe and he nodded his head before she swiftly turned on her heel and headed out of the dining room, her skirts swishing behind her as she walked.

Once upstairs, Lydia didn't go into her bedroom. She stayed in the hall, leaning against the railing spindles as she had many times when she was a child, eavesdropping on conversations. While she knew eavesdropping was a sin, she couldn't help herself. She wanted to know what they were discussing. Besides, she was _upstairs_ as she had promised.

The start of their conversation was rather muted, almost as if they had anticipated her listening. But she knew they would eventually forgo their cautiousness and converse normally. She just needed to be patient and wait. Lydia's patience proved useful when the conversation turned loud enough for her to hear after Major Hewlett snapped his fingers and requested paper. She listened carefully to find out that Hewlett wanted the names of those who had boarded Abraham's scow and threw him overboard.

For a moment, Lydia held her breath. Was Abe going to give up Ben? While she wanted to believe that he wouldn't, part of her couldn't help but believe that her brother would betray the man she loved. But her doubts were quickly cast aside and she breathed a sigh of relief when Abe _recalled_ that the boys were from Hempstead. Although, Lydia couldn't help but slightly cringe at Abe's rather specific details about the boys who had captured him. Had Lydia been in Abe's shoes, she would have been rather vague on the details because Abe's details could be easily refuted, especially with their magistrate father. But that was the choice Abraham had made. She couldn't change it. She could only guide him from here on out. _Assisting_ him as Ben wanted her to.

Lydia almost retreated to her bedroom, when Major Hewlett dropped something that piqued her interest. "Excellent. I shall pass this on to Captain Simcoe with instructions that if he should encounter any of these men on his raid, he will give them no quarter."

"Raid?" Abe questioned, his interest apparently just as piqued as his sister's.

"The dispatch that I received today was from York City. It's intelligence regarding a rebel safe house across the Sound where they're launching their strikes from. We'll cross at night, just like your attackers…" Hewlett paused for a moment before he continued more quietly for effect. "Silent approach, bayonets fixed. Give them their own medicine."

Lydia had a hard time hearing his words over her pounding heartbeat which seemed to have reached her ears, but she had heard enough. The good news was that she would be granted a respite from Simcoe. The bad news was that the British were going to raid a rebel safe house. Lydia kept her hands over her mouth, not wanting to betray her position. _This_ was exactly the kind of information Ben had wanted from them. The gears in Lydia's mind began to turn.

 _If_ they could get this information to Ben, then maybe the Continental Army could help rid them of Simcoe. Lydia closed her eyes, panting for breath. She hoped Abe was thinking the same thing. Although, because it meant keeping _Anna_ safe, she was almost certain that he was. Lydia knew that neither Abe nor Anna had ever fully fallen out of love with each other. Sure, they had both moved on with their lives and married others, but one never truly forgot a love with as powerful of a connection as they shared. A love that could rival Ben and Lydia's love for each other.

Hearing Abraham excuse himself, Lydia quickly stood on her feet and leaned against the bannister. When Abe walked into the hall downstairs, he caught sight of his sister. He slowly nodded at her before he called for their father's sake, "I'm going to wish Lyddie a good night before I take my leave." Not waiting for their father to respond, Abe slowly climbed the stairs his expression looking rather solemn. He gestured toward Lydia's bedroom and she nodded her head before leading her brother inside.

"How much of that did you hear?" Abe whispered.

"Enough," Lydia responded as she folded her arms across her chest. "The question is what are _you_ going to do about it."

Abe rolled his eyes at his sister. "Get word to Tallmadge, of course," he said as if it were obvious.

"Good." Lydia gestured to the door across the hall. "After you."

"No, you're staying here."

Lydia looked at her brother pointedly. "Ben said I could _assist_. So either let me _assist_ you or I'm doing it on my own." Stubbornly, she side-stepped her brother and started to tip-toe across the hall. Abe grabbed Lydia's arm. She looked at him with narrowed eyes. He groaned and shook his head, which brought a small smile to Lydia's face. He had caved.

Abe walked first into Hewlett's room. "Stand guard," he whispered to his sister.

Lydia rolled her eyes, but she stopped and leaned against the doorframe, watching her brother slowly approached Hewlett's desk. He reached for the stack of letters on the corner. "Not those. There's nothing in those," Lydia whispered. Abe quickly turned and looked at his sister curiously. She rolled her eyes. "I _might_ have accidentally seen them when I was returning Major Hewlett's laundry to his room."

"Accidentally my arse," Abe muttered.

She squinted as the moonlight softly shone in the room. "Try that letter carrier. It wasn't there when I was in here this afternoon."

Abe shook his head, but he did as his sister said. He opened the container and pulled a letter out. After he unrolled the letter he began to read it. Abe's brow furrowed as he glanced up from the letter and at his sister. "It's about Harlem. That's ancient news."

"They likely would have coded the letter in case of interception," Lydia whispered as she approached her brother. She found the container holding the Cardan grille and held it up to her brother.

Abe looked at her rather pointedly. "Do I even want to know?"

"How I know about Cardan grilles or this specific one?" Lydia paused for a moment before she smirked.

Abe plucked the grille from Lydia's hand and placed it on top of the letter. One had to make sure things lined up perfectly and once they were the encoded message was revealed. _Rebels' safe house. Connecticut, Meigs Harbor. Show no quarter._

A bell rang from downstairs. Both Abe and Lydia froze, fearing they had been caught. But when their father called for Aberdeen, they both relaxed. The Woodhull siblings glanced at each other before they began putting everything away in its proper place. They then quietly escaped back to Lydia's room.

"I could have figured it out myself," Abe whispered rather stubbornly.

Lydia rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "I don't doubt that. It was just faster with my help." Abe shrugged noncommittally. "So, what's next?" Lydia asked. "How do we get this information to Ben?"

Abe glanced over his shoulder and then back to his sister. He then explained to her barely above a whisper. "I need to get to Anna. She's to hang a black petticoat on her line to signal to Ben that we need to meet. She's to also hang handkerchiefs to signal which cove is safe for the rendezvous with his courier."

Lydia stood a little taller, reaching her full height. "I want to be there when you meet."

"What?"

She placed her hands on her hips and slightly narrowed her eyes at her brother. "You heard me, Abraham. I want to be there when you meet this courier."

Abe shook his head and folded his arms across his chest. "It won't be Ben."

"You don't know that for sure. He knows his way across the Sound, as well as any." Lydia chewed her lip. "Besides, I have something of my own to offer them and I want to deliver it myself."

"Fine," Abe groaned. "But you'd best be ready when it's time or I will leave you behind. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to get to Anna so she can do her part in all of this." Abe turned to leave, but Lydia grabbed hold of his arm. He was about ready to just shrug her off, but she looked up at him rather innocently before she threw her arms around him, catching him off-guard.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Abe sighed and hugged her back with one arm. "I do need to go, Lyddie," Abe whispered back. She nodded her head and released her brother. He then descended the stairs and left Whitehall. Lydia turned and went into her room to ready for bed and prayers.

A couple days later, Lydia was ready when Abe came for her to rendezvous with the courier. She pulled her cloak closer as they headed into the woods toward the cove. It almost seemed strange to be meeting up with a Continental during the day, but Lydia didn't question it aloud. Instead, she silently followed her brother through the trees.

When they reached the cove, they found a boat ashore. Abe held his arm out in front of her to keep her back. Lydia knew he was doing it for her safety, so she stayed back. He took a few steps closer toward the boat when a rustling sound came from the east. A man suddenly appeared from behind the trees. Lydia watched as Abe quickly drew a knife on the man. The man started to laugh. His laugh was familiar. She scrutinised the man Abe had pinned down. It was none other than Caleb Brewster!

"Abraham, lower your knife," Lydia said running toward them, lifting her skirts as she ran as to not muddy them too badly. "It's only Caleb."

"Lyddie-girl!" Caleb laughed heartily, gently pushing Abe aside and opening his arms wide. "Come here, you." Lydia chuckled as she embraced Caleb. He hugged her tightly before he swung her around, lifting her feet from the ground. She squealed which only made Caleb laugh harder before he sat her down on her feet.

Lydia smiled and pushed a stray tendril of hair from her face as Abe stood there rather annoyed with his arms crossed over his chest. "Are you Ben's courier?" she asked.

"Aye, can't say I was expecting to see you," Caleb said. "Although, Benny-boy should have known that you wouldn't stay put. Not when it involves him." Lydia blushed and rolled her eyes, which made Caleb chuckle. Caleb then glanced at Abe, who didn't look any happier. "Good to see you again, Woody."

"Good to see you again? _Good to see you again?_ " Abe hollered, his anger clear in his tone and his facial expression. "What the hell is this?"

"Come on, Woody. Lyddie's already pieced it together. Although, now that I think on it, she always was a little quicker…"

" _You're_ the courier?" Abe questioned rather incredulously.

Caleb glanced at Lydia. She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. Then Caleb shook his head. "That's right, _now_ he gets it."

"But we…" Abe cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. "Back at Frog's Point…"

"Yeah, that was the first interview," Caleb acknowledged, nodding his head. "The second was with Ben. You passed muster when you refused to give up my name." He stopped for a moment and smiled at Abe, gently patting his friend's cheek. "Just want you to know I was very touched by that."

But Abe wasn't having any of that. He pushed Caleb away from him. "You set me up?" he questioned before punching him across his jawline. "You bastard!"

Caleb rubbed his jaw before he spat in the leaves. He looked at Abe and then charged forward, tackling Abe to the ground. "Boys," Lydia sighed as the boys continued to tussle and argue. She simply leaned against the boat and watched them, unamused. The number of times she had watched Abe, Caleb, and Ben do this very thing when they were younger was beyond her. Nor could she quite understand the rationale behind it, but yet she always just stood there and watched. Apparently, some things never changed.

Abe shouted for Caleb to get off him. Caleb lifted Abe to his feet and held him fast. Despite the fact that they were nearly the same height, Caleb was much burlier than Abe. Caleb told Abe that he was Second Company, Fourth Battalion, New York Regiment and that he was assigned to Captain Tallmadge for special detail. Lydia couldn't help but smile as her heart swelled with pride at mention of Ben. Captain Tallmadge. _Her_ Captain Tallmadge. Lydia was so lost in thought about Ben that she didn't quite catch what happened with the boys. But the next thing she knew, Abe was stomping away like a child.

Lydia rolled her eyes and groaned. "Abraham!" she called to him.

Caleb turned back toward her and shook his head. "Now, now, Lyddie-girl. I got this."

She harrumphed and folded her arms across her chest in frustration to watch Caleb rectify the situation. Lydia hated being cast aside in such a manner, but at times it was second nature for the boys to do so. She watched as Caleb took a few steps following Abe before he shouted, "No one knows her name either!" Lydia knew Caleb was making reference to Anna Strong. She chewed her bottom lip, know that if anything would cause Abe to see reason, it would be his desire to keep Anna safe.

And it did. Abe stopped and slowly turned toward Caleb. His expression wasn't jovial, but he stood there with his eyes fixated on Caleb. Caleb called, "Now she put a petticoat on that line for a reason. What?"

Abe shrugged his shoulders and Caleb shook his head.

"If you aren't going to say something, _I_ will," Lydia stated, walking toward the boys.

"Lyddie, I said I got this," Caleb said never breaking eye contact with Abe as he took a few steps closer to his friend. "I think you know something Abe. And I think you wanna tell me. Huh?" The burly bearded man had closed the distance between himself and the wiry farmer. "You get a taste for boiling these lobsters and you'll want more. Yeah? And once I pass this up the ladder, they'll want more. Washington's been trying to get a man inside the city since Howe took it over. So are you gonna tell me what you know or not?"

Abe glanced for a moment at his sister. Lydia looked at her brother rather innocently. She hoped that his pride didn't win this battle. Caleb wasn't the only who needed Abe to cooperate. Lydia needed her brother's cooperation in the matter at hand to make sure her standing in Setauket was safe. If her brother let his pride get the better of him, then what was to keep him from divulging her secrets to their father or Major Hewlett.

Abe slowly exhaled before he made eye contact with Caleb. "The Royal Army knows of your safe house across the Sound at Meigs Harbor. They plan on ambushing it and showing you no quarter." Lydia breathed a sigh of relief at her brother's statement, thankful his pride hadn't won out.

Caleb released a slow whistle at the news. "Christ," he hissed. "Ben is gonna want to hear this."

"Hold on now. Hold on," Abe said tightly gripping Caleb's arms. "I'm going to want something in return." Caleb's brow furrowed, but Abe continued before he could ask anything. "Captain Simcoe. You must promise me that he will meet his Maker. He's been nothing but trouble for the womenfolk in my life since he got here." Abe glanced at Lydia and then reiterated. "I want him gone."

"Aye." Caleb nodded his head taking a side-long glance in Lydia's direction. He then gently patted Abe's face before he pulled away. "I ought to get myself to Ben so he can devise a plan before this happens." Caleb turned and walked toward the boat.

Lydia felt all but forgotten. That was until she remembered the copy of the Cardan grille in her apron pocket. She knew Caleb wasn't going to like her meddling, but that was exactly what she was counting on. "Caleb, wait!" Lydia called.

Caleb stopped and smirked. "You think I'd leave without saying good-bye to you, Lyddie-girl?"

"It's not that," Lydia responded. She slowly exhaled a breath before she pulled two folded papers from her apron pocket and handed them to Caleb. "Make sure these get to Ben." Caleb chuckled as he took the paper from her. She knew that he thought they were both letters for Ben. Although, only one was meant for correspondence to him. So she explained. "One is a copy of the Cardan grille in Major Hewlett's room. I'm not sure how long they'll use that exact grille, but it might prove useful should you intercept any correspondence."

Caleb stood there for a moment, unsure of how to respond. She could almost see the battle waging within him-he wanted to chastise her for doing a man's work and not following orders, but also not wanting to do so because they were friends. Eventually, when he responded, he said, "Ben's not going to like this. He's not going to like that you…"

Lydia interrupted him, playing-up the act. "Please don't tell Benj it was me. Please, Caleb. Tell him it was Abe."

Abe put his hands up in defence. "Leave me out of this," Abe responded. "I told her not to." Lydia rolled her eyes for effect.

"Ben's my superior officer, Lyddie," Caleb groaned, rubbing his beard in frustration.

"Since when have you been one for always following the rules?" Lydia pointed out with her hands on her hips.

Caleb groaned. Lydia had him right where she wanted him. Only he didn't know that. He ran his fingers through his hair. "If Ben asks, I'll be honest with him, Lyddie."

Lydia forced a disappointed expression on her face and slowly nodded her head. She was almost certain that he _would_ ask. Caleb sighed before he said his good-byes to Abe and Lydia and pushed off in his boat, which would take him to Ben. While Lydia wished it was her going off to see Ben, she stood at the shore with her brother hoping that she knew Ben as well as she thought she did.

* * *

 **Author's Note: And here's another chapter! No flashback in this one. Oops! But I think next chapter should make up for that. ;) Thank you so much for all the love and support y'all have given this story! I truly appreciate it! :**


	4. Promises

**Chapter 4: Promises**

* * *

The night before Abraham was to make his oath to King George III, Lydia lay awake in her bed. She tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep no matter how hard she tried. The only remedy Lydia could determine was to take the matters weighing heavily on her heart to the Lord in prayer. So, she flung the covers from her body and crawled out of bed before she knelt on the floor beside her bed. For a moment she fidgeted with her nightgown. Then she folded her hands, resting them on her quilt, and closed her eyes before she shared spoke with the Lord.

" _Dear Lord…"_ Lydia said breathlessly aloud, pausing for a moment before she continued. "Please keep Abraham safe in your care. We both know he's going to need your guiding hand now more than ever. If it is your will, please help his crop to recover. Please be with Mary and Thomas as well. Please be with Father. Change his heart and his thoughts on imposing a marriage on me. I think we both know why. Bless Selah, Anna, Caleb, Reverend Tallmadge and his sons…" She then took a deep breath. "And now dear Lord, about Benj…"

A noise came from the window, interrupting Lydia. Her head quickly snapped in the direction of the window, her eyes carefully watching it as it slowly began to open. Lydia's heart began to beat rapidly as a hand grasped the window sill. Seconds later, a familiar face poked in through the window and her heart began to beat wildly for a completely different reason. "Benj," Lydia whispered as she quickly got to her feet and ran to meet Ben as he finished pulling himself through the window.

Ben was hardly on his feet for more than a few seconds when Lydia's arms flung around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck, holding onto him tightly like she was never going to let him go. Tears of happiness pricked at her eyes as she clung to him. Her plan had worked. Ben was here...with her. He sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around Lydia, not seeming to care much for propriety especially given the fact that she was dressed in her nightclothes. Ben was dressed in the plain clothes she had last seen him in before he had gone off to join the war effort. The pair stood there for several minutes clinging to each other, not saying a word. Lydia never felt safer than she did in the arms of Benjamin Tallmadge.

Even though he didn't want to, Ben was the first one to pull away. Lydia's bottom lip jutted out a bit as Ben looked down at her, pushing a stray hair from her face. His hand lingered on her cheek. "We need to talk, Lydia," he whispered rather sternly. Not only did the tone of his voice give him away, but also the fact he used her Christian name and not the affectionate nickname he had called her since they were children.

Lydia glanced up at him to see the serious expression on his face illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. She knew that he was cross with her, but she was honestly too elated that her plan had worked and that he really standing in front of her to fret about the matter.

"What were you thinking?" Ben quietly chastised. "My letter quite clearly expressed that you were only to…"

Lydia placed a single finger on Ben's lips, interrupting and quieting him. She tried to hide her smile, knowing full-well the effect she had on him. He cocked his head and looked at her quizzically. Lydia's smile broke through the facade she had attempted. "I know you're cross with me, Benjamin. But first…"

Her fingers hand found their way to his cravat. Lydia pulled herself up with it, causing him to lean forward ever so slightly. From her new vantage point, she could clearly see the scattered freckles on his face and his tender eyes. Her heart began to race and her breath hitched. Slowly, Lydia inched her face forward until her lips gently pressed against Ben's, relishing their first kiss since before Ben had joined the cause. Her eyes remained closed when she finally pulled away, but she could feel Ben's forehead resting against hers. Lydia's eyes fluttered open to find Ben's eyes searching hers.

Then, both of Ben's hands went to Lydia's cheeks before he crashed his lips onto her. His kisses seemed desperate and hungry, compared to her kiss...not that she minded. Lydia's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling herself closer to him as he continued to kiss her. It seemed like she had waited an eternity for this moment...to once again be with him and she had no regrets about how she had gone about it. It had been worth it to be with him, like this, once more.

When the pair finally broke apart, both their cheeks were flushed and their breathing laboured. Ben's hands still gripped Lydia's face and her hands moved to rest on his. She had missed him so much these past few months. Lydia felt a bit like the apostle Thomas from the Bible, needing to touch him in order to believe that he was really there. She thought Ben looked as handsome as ever, maybe even more so. But his serious expression replaced his temporarily lust-filled one. Lydia simply smiled and cupped his cheeks in her hands. "You may scold me now if you wish."

Ben once again cocked his head and looked at Lydia rather incredulously. He opened his mouth to say something, but he quickly closed it and narrowed his eyes at her before he shook his head in disbelief. He threw his head back and quietly groaned. "I don't believe it," he muttered before looking at Lydia once more. "You orchestrated this entire thing."

"Orchestrated what?" Lydia asked coyly.

Ben leaned back, stood a little straighter, and gently removed Lydia's hands from his face. "You know what," he stated, still holding onto her hands. "You knew I'd come. You told Caleb not to tell me about what you'd done, knowing that he would tell me, knowing that it would upset me and that I'd come to Setauket to tell you to stop."

"That sounds quite complicated. You really think me capable of orchestrating such a feat?" Lydia glanced up at Ben, slightly chewing her bottom lip as she waited for his response.

He dropped her hands and folded his arms across his chest, glancing at her rather pointedly. "I find you perfectly capable of orchestrating such a feat."

For a moment, Lydia hung her head, but she quickly raised it and closed the distance between her and Ben. She rested her hands on his arms and tilted her head up toward him, speaking lightly. "Well, it worked. Didn't it, Captain Tallmadge?" She smiled softly.

Ben rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I can't believe you did this," he hissed. "Well, I _can_ believe you did this, but Lydia, it's hardly appropriate. There are other men out there fighting for our freedom that haven't seen their womenfolk and those women don't orchestrate elaborate schemes."

Emotions began to flood through her. Some she hardly recognised that she had been holding back. "In my defence, to the best of my knowledge, none of the other womenfolk don't go weeks without a letter, only to receive a rather cryptic one by route of their brother who was kidnapped by the Continentals and then are told to help said brother spy. Only said brother hardly says a word about a damn thing and then pretends as if nothing ever happened. And...and…" Lydia's composure finally cracked. Her bottom lip began to quiver and tears began to sting her eyes. "I've missed you and...and..." Lydia's voice faltered before she quickly turned from Ben, not wanting him to see a hint of her weakness.

Lydia tried so hard to be strong...to be strong _for_ him. She flung her arms around the post of her bed and hugged it tightly, resting her forehead against it, still sniffling back the tears. Though her eyes were closed, she heard Ben sigh and then listened to the sound of his boots against the floor, his steps growing closer. She felt his arms wrap around her midsection from behind as he pulled himself closer to her. Ben rested his chin against his shoulder and rubbed his face against hers. "I've missed you too, my Lyddie," he whispered in her ear.

She leaned her head back and rested it against him. "I wish you were home," she whispered.

"Lyddie, if I could choose to be anywhere, it would be with you. But you know that I have an obligation to…"

"I know. I know," she sighed, interrupting him.

Ben pulled her a little closer. "As I seem to recall, we had a conversation about how difficult this would be before we…"

She rubbed her cheek against his, feeling his stubble against her smooth cheek. "I know." Her eyes met his. "I know very well what we discussed, Benjamin. But I also believe I'm allotted a moment or two of weakness."

After nodding his head in agreement, Ben pressed a kiss against Lydia's cheek. Releasing the bedpost, Lydia placed her hands on top of his, which were still wrapped around her. She sighed, still leaning against him. "When must you leave?" Lydia asked, wishing her time with Ben wouldn't end, yet knowing that it would end all too soon.

"Shortly," Ben said, his tone rather melancholy. "I shouldn't have even come to Setauket."

"I'm glad you did."

Ben smiled at her words for a moment before he responded, "As am I, but I might be regretting the decision come morning." Lydia's brow furrowed at his words, but he clarified. "I'm leading the ambush and it certainly wouldn't do to have a fatigued officer leading the charge."

Lydia pursed her lips. For a moment she debated telling Ben to make sure that Simcoe didn't survive, but she thought better of it. She knew that Ben already worried about her and that there was no point in adding more to his burden when the situation should be rectified come morning. Besides, Abraham already made the request. Instead, she turned around, still in his arms, and she straightened his cravat. "I was hoping I would get to see how handsome you look in your uniform, Captain Tallmadge."

"It was safer this way," Ben responded as Lydia began to fuss with smoothing out some wrinkles in his clothes, much like a wife would do for her husband. When she didn't respond, he cocked his head trying to get her attention.

When Lydia made eye contact with him, she stopped and sighed. "Well, it's a shame that my brother got to see you in it and I haven't, that's all." Ben throatily chuckled which made her smile. Lydia tugged at his shoulders which made Ben groaned and reached for his right shoulder. She looked at him rather quizzically. "Benj?"

"It's nothing," Ben muttered.

"Why don't I believe that?" Lydia asked, arching her eyebrow. "Either you tell me what happened or I will have a look for myself."

"Lyddie," Ben groaned.

"I mean, it Benj."

Ben looked at her rather solemnly, clearly debating whether or not he should tell her. But he knew her to be a woman of her word, especially when it came to him. "I was wounded," he confessed. "Nothing serious. It's to be expected with a war going on."

"Are you telling me that you were shot?" Lydia watched as Ben pursed his lips for a moment before he gave a slight nod of his head. Lydia rolled her eyes. "Benjamin! You weren't going to tell me, were you?" Her voice was louder than she had intended. Ben reached up and covered her mouth with his hand for a moment as they listened to see if they had awakened anyone. But they heard no one stir, so Ben then removed his hand.

"I didn't want to worry you more than necessary. I knew if I told you what happened that you'd do something reckless."

Lydia folded her arms across her chest stubbornly. "It's a little too late for that. I did it anyway because you _didn't_ tell me."

They made eye contact for a moment just staring at each other in the silence. Lydia sighed, already beginning to cave. While she didn't like him keeping secrets from her, she knew his intentions to be good. She moved her hands to his cravat and played with it. "Next time just tell me. You know I worry about you, Benj. I'm stronger than you think."

"You're the strongest person I know, Lyddie." Ben kissed Lydia's forehead, his lips lingering there for a few moments as Lydia clung to him. "I should probably go," he mumbled against her forehead.

Lydia's arms snaked around his neck, holding tightly onto him. "No," she whispered. "Please don't leave…"

"Lyddie, I must get back." He attempted to untangle her arms from his neck.

"You didn't let me finish, Benj," Lydia chided. Ben cocked his head once more and looked at her quizzically. "I was going to say please don't leave until I'm asleep. This way I don't have to see you go. I do so hate that part." She frowned.

Ben sighed but didn't say anything. It was clear he was torn between taking his leave promptly and wanting to stay with her. Lydia looked up at him with an expression that won him over many times growing up and tonight was no different. "Fine," Ben groaned. "But you must try to fall asleep quickly."

Lydia held back a squeal as she reached up and pressed a kiss against his lips. He eagerly returned the kiss. After several heated kisses, he mumbled the words _lie down_ against her lips.

While she knew the word was meant innocently, Lydia pulled away from him and grinned. "My, that was awfully forward of you, Benjamin." Ben quickly released her as his face paled and his eyes widened in horror at the implication. Despite their situation, in many ways this still felt completely foreign to them. Lydia covered her mouth to suppress the laughter that threatened to reveal them. When she managed to regain her composure, she whispered, "I was only teasing you, Benj. But I'll show you that I am capable of obeying you."

She smirked as she pressed a kiss on his cheek before she crawled onto her bed. Lydia leaned her head back her pillow, watching Ben. She had purposely stayed to one side of the bed hoping that he might join her. She didn't know when she would see him again and she just liked being near him. She always felt safer and far happier at his side. While she had thought his years at Yale had been torturous, him being gone with the Continentals was even worse.

But Ben just stood there. Lydia patted the empty space on the bed beside her and softly said, "Benj."

Ben rubbed his jaw anxiously, looking over his shoulder at the door to the hall. "Your father is next door."

Lydia arched an eyebrow and sat up. "And Major Hewlett is across the hall."

"Precisely my point."

"Now you're suddenly for propriety?" Lydia scoffed. "You didn't seem to care much for it a few minutes ago and you certainly didn't care for it back in June." Although, Lydia couldn't help but blush at the boldness of her own words, remembering to what she was referring. Thankfully, he couldn't see her blush in the near darkness.

He groaned, knowing exactly what she was referring to. "It's not propriety I'm worried about."

"Then what?"

"Restraint."

"Ah." There was a moment of silence between the pair. Lydia then crawled to the end of her bed. Staying on the bed, she stood up on her knees and rested her hands on Ben's shoulders. "I think your sense of duty and obligation will likely help you on that front," Lydia said. "Sleep will find me much faster with you by my side and then you'll be able to hie yourself back sooner. Besides, the army isn't the only one to whom you have an obligation, Benj."

Lydia glanced up at him, her eyes shining in the moonlight. She tugged his cravat, pulling him toward her. Ben allowed himself to fall forward onto the bed after her, but he kept himself from falling on top of Lydia. For a moment, she lay on her back looking up at him as Ben propped himself up above her by his arms. "I suppose this is exactly the situation you were trying to prevent," Lydia whispered with a playful expression on her face.

"Aye," Ben responded, nodding his head, causing several tendrils hair to fall in front of his face.

Lydia reached up and gently pushed his hair away from his face. For a moment, she chewed her bottom lip. She knew better than to push Ben too far. She had already gotten him to come to Setauket and to agree to stay until she fell asleep. She needn't push the man she loved any farther. So, she wriggled to the head of the bed and Ben crawled to the spot beside her.

They lay there facing each other, not speaking, taking each other's features in knowing that it was likely to be the last time they saw each other for some time. Lydia gently brushed her fingers against Ben's cheek. Ben's hand clasped hers, keeping it on his cheek as he rubbed his face against it. Lydia couldn't help but smile. Her heart felt so full that it might burst with happiness. _This_ was what she wanted and for now, it was hers to have.

"Go to sleep," Ben whispered before he kissed the inside of her hand which was still on his face. Lydia sighed and nodded her head. Ben softly smiled before he gently kissed her lips and then placed a kiss on each eye. Lydia closed her eyes and smiled contentedly.

Seconds later, her eyes flew open and she quickly sat up, startling Ben. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lydia pressed a lone finger on his lips before she turned her back toward him. She then folded her hands and bowed her head. "Lord, thank you for bringing Benj to me safely. Thank you for allowing us to have this time together, albeit shorter than we both would like." Lydia paused for a moment and glanced over her shoulder to see Ben smiling at her. She smiled and returned to her prayer. "Please watch over Benj and keep him safe so that he can come home to me for good and we might live as you intended. In Jesus name, Amen."

Lydia had hardly finished her prayer when Ben's arm wrapped around her middle from behind and he pulled her toward him. With her back to him, Lydia lay there as he nestled his face against the crook of her neck. She could feel his breath against her. It was warm and it made her sigh contentedly. Instinctively, Ben pulled her a little closer. "I love you, Lyddie," Ben said. "But promise me you won't do this again."

"I promise, Benj," Lydia said closing her eyes. "I love you." Almost immediately, she felt at peace and sleep easily overtook her while in the safety of Ben's arms.

In the morning, Lydia slowly awoke. She reached out for Ben, but she only found cold sheets beside her. Lydia opened her eyes to find no sign of him. For a moment, she almost wondered if she had imagined last night, but she spotted a letter beneath the pillow he had used. Lydia grinned. Nothing was going to sour her day. She wouldn't let it.

Lydia pulled the letter from beneath the pillow to see her name in Ben's familiar scrawl. When he had time to write her, she didn't know; but she did know that he hated when correspondence wasn't promptly responded to. She set the letter back down before she sat up and pulled the pillow he had used to her face. She inhaled. It still smelled like him. Lydia hugged the pillow tightly when a knock came at the door.

"Miss Lydia," Aberdeen's voice called from the other side of the door. Lydia quickly covered the letter with the pillow before she crossed the room and opened the door just a crack. "Miss Lydia, it's almost time for breakfast and it looks like you'll be needin' my help gettin' dressed so you don't make the judge late." Aberdeen's brow furrowed when she noticed Lydia still in her nightclothes. But the girl just smiled and allowed her entrance.

Aberdeen helped Lydia with her corset. While Lydia hated the wretched contraption with a passion, she was nothing but smiles as it was being done up. She was so cheerful that even Aberdeen took notice. "What's gotten into you, child?" Aberdeen asked.

"Nothing," Lydia chuckled, blushing a bit. "But I suppose a good night's sleep can do wonders for a person, don't you agree, Aberdeen?"

"Yes'm, I suppose so," Aberdeen answered rather hesitantly, quite sure that Miss Lydia was hiding something from her. She could just tell. In fact, Aberdeen hadn't seen Lydia like this in months. Sure, Miss Lydia was quite good at composing herself, but when you've helped raise a young woman since she was a girl, there are things one just knows. And Aberdeen _knew_ that something was amiss with Lydia. But she said nothing on the subject. Instead, she asked, "Which dress would you like to wear today?"

"Why don't you pick?" Aberdeen glanced at Lydia. Lydia just nodded her head and Aberdeen went and picked a red patterned gown. Aberdeen helped Lydia into the gown before starting on the young woman's hair. She had just finished pinning Lydia's curls back when a bell rang downstairs. Aberdeen took her leave. Lydia waited until she could no longer hear Aberdeen's footsteps before she raced back to her bed and grabbed her letter from Ben.

Lydia opened the letter to find another letter stowed-away inside. This one was addressed to _Father_. Every now and then, Ben had her pass a letter onto his father and she was certain that was what he wanted her to do. She couldn't imagine him writing to her father. It would ruin everything. Sure enough, when Lydia read her letter, Ben did ask her to personally deliver the letter to his father when she had the opportunity.

Richard Woodhull called from downstairs for his daughter to join him for breakfast. Lydia slipped the letter for Reverend Woodhull in her stocking before she left the sanctuary of her bedroom to join her father.

"Good morning, Father," Lydia said rather cheerfully as she kissed her father's cheek before taking a seat beside him at the table.

"Someone's rather lively this morning," Richard said with a chuckle.

Lydia smiled at her father as she placed her napkin on her lap. "Well, the good Lord does say, _This is the day the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it_."

Richard patted his daughter's hand. "That he does. That he does."

After breakfast, Lydia donned her cloak and straw hat before she rode with her father into town. Abe, Mary, and Thomas would meet them on the green; as would most of the town. Taking an oath of loyalty to the king was serious business. Lydia wouldn't be surprised if most of the soldiers stationed in Setauket showed up as well. It was certainly going to be a sight.

But Lydia was nervous for her brother. Abe sometimes cracked under immense pressure and taking an oath of loyalty to a king whose side you are spying on was likely to lead to pressure. But that's where she came in. That was the role Ben had asked her to play, the role of attempting to alleviate some pressure off Abe. That was something she was capable of doing but she was easily capable of doing more and wished Ben would let her.

The cart came to a stop in front of the tavern. Through the window, Lydia saw Anna standing inside. Lydia nodded her head toward her friend and Anna nodded her head back. She then smiled at Anna and Anna gave her a rather quizzical expression in return. But Lydia couldn't help but smile. Thankfully, Judge Woodhull had missed the exchange between the two women as he hitched the horses and made his way to Lydia's side of the cart. He offered his daughter his hand, which she accepted, and he helped her down. Once Lydia was steady on her feet, she followed her father as he walked toward Major Hewlett.

Minutes later, Abraham's cart pulled into the green. When it came to a stop, Lydia approached the cart and reached up to take Thomas. Mary smiled and handed Lydia her nephew. Lydia tightly hugged her nephew and kissed his cheek. Thomas returned his aunt's affection with a sloppy kiss on her chin. Lydia chuckled and wiped her chin with the sleeve of her dress. She gently tapped her finger on her nephew's nose before she handed him back to his mother. Mary took Thomas and situated him on her hip while casting a scrutinising glance at Lydia.

"There's something different about you," Mary commented.

"Aberdeen helped me dress this morning," Lydia said, adjusting her hat. "I accidentally slept in later than usual this morning."

"Sleep," Mary sighed glancing at her son. "Enjoy it while you can. When you're a mother you'll wish you had."

Lydia's eyes cast downward for a moment as she attempted to hide the blush crawling up her cheeks. She did want to be a mother someday, a mother to Ben's children and after last night… Lydia quickly checked her thoughts, lest she give herself away entirely. Instead, she glanced at her brother. Abraham looked a little peaked as he stood next to their father who clutched his Bible. Lydia said a quick silent prayer that Abraham could get through the oath.

The people of Setauket and the soldiers began to assemble. Major Hewlett stood with Ensign Baker and Lieutenant Appleton. Anna stood at the entrance to the tavern. Lydia stayed beside Mary, mostly for the appearance's sake. She had a role to play indefinitely, which her to have good standing in Setauket.

Abraham placed his hand on the Bible and began to speak. Lydia's brow furrowed. She could see his lips moving but she couldn't hear him. Her eyes went to her father who looked rather irritated before he gruffly told Abe to speak louder. Abe glanced at their father curiously, with his jaw set. He stood a little straighter with a look in his eyes that slightly resembled defiance. Abraham then began to recite his oath clearly and loud enough for everyone to hear. Lydia shook her head. She should have known that Abe's stubbornness would shine against their father's disapproval.

With a final shout of _God save the king!_ Abraham's oath was finished. Lydia glanced at Mary and smiled. "I think he presented himself well," Mary whispered to her sister-in-law.

"I agree," Lydia responded. She hadn't expected Abe to be quite so convincing, but their father's disapproval of him had been his saving grace. Although, Lydia couldn't quite place where their father's disapproval, it seemed more disapproving than usual. Not that Richard Woodhull usually approved of Abe. It was only after their brother Thomas had died and Abe had a role to fill that their father seemed to heed him more.

"Then let us go tell him so." Mary led them toward Abraham, carrying her son in her arms. Lydia followed in-step with her sister-in-law, trying not to meet the eyes of the soldiers watching her, no doubt trying to gain her attention. If only they knew the truth, they wouldn't be so keen to win her favour.

Abe was leaning against his cart as Mary, Thomas, and Lydia approached him. He looked knowingly at his sister. Knowing she couldn't say anything about the situation, Lydia just gave him a nod that hopefully conveyed everything she couldn't tell him in front of Mary. A look that conveyed that thus far, they were safe.

"Lydia and I both think you presented yourself well," Mary said as she stopped beside her husband.

Abe nodded his head and thanked his wife before quickly diverting attention from himself to his son. "I thought this little fella did awfully well as well," Abe said pointing at Thomas. "Not a peep."

"Clearly he takes after his aunt," Lydia teased.

Abe shook his head and rolled his eyes, knowing _that_ was the furthest thing from the truth. "You do know there were times we had to leave you home with Aberdeen because you did nothing but scream, right?"

Lydia folded her arms across her chest and arched an eyebrow. She knew he was teasing her back, but she still felt compelled to respond. "And I do believe Father told me there were times when you did the same."

"Sprout must take after his ma then." Abe then reached out to grab his son as Mary beamed proudly. "But he's still my boy. Aren't you, Sprout? Come here. Come here to Daddy." With his son in his arms, Abe kissed the top of his son's head and Thomas gurgled in response.

"I think we should collect a five-pound of flour while we're here," Mary said to Abe. Abe nodded his head. Mary then turned to Lydia. "Would you care to join me? Perhaps we can even stop by and see some of the new fabrics Mister Ketcham just got in."

"I believe I will," Lydia answered. In the corner of her eye, she saw her father approaching. She then turned toward her brother. "Abe, tell Father where I've gone and not to wait on me. My legs are itching for a walk so I'll walk home when I'm done with Mary." Abe nodded his head in agreement. Lydia waved back at her father as she walked away with Mary to Ketcham's store.

Inside the store, Mary and Lydia looked through several bolts of fabric. The new fabrics would make beautiful gowns. Not very sensible ones, but beautiful nonetheless. Mary asked Mister Ketcham for several bolts of heavier fabric: a blue, a green, a brown, and a black. "Pick one," Mary said to Lydia.

Lydia's brow furrowed. "Excuse me?" she asked.

Mary smiled. "You heard me. Pick one."

"For what?"

"Your birthday present, if you must know," Mary said shaking her head.

Things still weren't any clearer to Lydia. "My birthday isn't until the end of November and..."

"I know you don't like to make a fuss over it," Mary said, reaching out and gently patting Lydia's arm. "I know it's not an easy day, but I want to make my sister something special for her birthday and nothing you can say is going to stop me. I just thought I'd give you the option of choosing the fabric. But if you're going to force me to choose I'm going to go with either the blue or green. The blue goes with your eyes and the green complements your hair."

Lydia pursed her lips before she sighed. "If I can't talk you out of it, then I suppose the blue will do nicely."

"Perfect." Mary grabbed the bolt of blue fabric.

"What are you making me?"

Mary shook her head. "If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?"

Lydia arched an eyebrow and shook her head. There was no arguing with her sister-in-law over the matter. So, she wisely said nothing and simply smiled instead. That seemed to satisfy Mary. In the corner of her eye, Lydia saw Anna walk into the store, looking at her before heading to the corner of the store. "I think I'll have another look around while Mister Ketcham cuts the fabric and you square things away."

"Good idea." Mary smiled as Lydia walked away.

Lydia walked past Anna the first time through the store, not to draw any suspicion. Her second time around, she stopped to look at something with her back to Anna. "Annie," Lydia whispered her friend's childhood name.

"Lyddie," Anna whispered back.

Lydia grabbed a tin cup in front of her and pretended to examine it. "The deed should be done by now."

"To what are you referring?"

She mentally kicked herself. Of course, Anna didn't know that she knew. They hadn't had time to see each other since her last visit into town. Lydia glanced over her shoulder to see if Mary was watching her. She wasn't. She was engrossed in conversation with Mister Ketcham. Lydia exhaled a breath before she whispered, "Simcoe. Benj came to me last night and said that the ambush was happening today."

Anna turned her head slightly toward Lydia. "He came all the way to Setauket to tell you that?"

Lydia chuckled. "Not exactly. He came to chastise me for being reckless because it's not a woman's place to spy and left sooner after."

"Of course he did. Men," Anna scoffed with a bit of a chuckle before turning back to the shelf in front of her.

"I must get back to Mary before she's suspicious," Lydia said. "But I thought you ought to know that I'm in on the ruse and that if you need help with anything now that Selah's gone…"

"Thank you. Same to you."

Lydia nodded her head, despite the fact that Anna couldn't see it. She then moved to a different area of the store before she called to her sister-in-law, "Mary, might I rejoin you?"

"In a moment," Mary called back.

Lydia sighed and looked between Mary and Anna. It was a pity that she couldn't have them both for sisters. Lydia slowly approached Mary who had just finished her purchasing her items. The pair then walked out of the store and headed toward Abraham who was playing with Thomas in the grass.

"Father's up at the church with Major Hewlett," Abe said on his haunches as the women approached him. "Said he would be there for a spell if you wanted a ride back to Whitehall."

"Did you tell him I wished to walk?" Lydia asked her brother.

"I did." Abe grabbed Thomas and stood up. "He said to tell you anyway."

"Like I said before, my legs are itching for a good walk. So, I best be off." Lydia hugged Mary and kissed Thomas. Abe then set his son in the cart and allowed Lydia to hug him. "Take care brother," she whispered.

"You as well," Abe whispered back. Lydia moved to pull away, but Abe held onto her. She glanced up at him quizzically. "Do not breathe a word of…"

"I know how to keep a secret, Abraham," Lydia interrupted. "Quite a few actually. And if anything, it should be _I_ worried about _you_ keeping the secret. Now, if you'll please excuse me…"

Abe still didn't release her. "What other secrets?"

"If I told you, they wouldn't be secrets any longer, now would they?" Lydia eyed her brother before she gently patted his cheek and released herself from his grasp. She waved goodbye to her brother and his family as she walked away from them headed toward Whitehall, with a planned detour to deliver Reverend Tallmadge his letter.

As she approached the Tallmadge place, Lydia looked over her shoulder to be sure that no one could see her. She hated having to sneak around just to visit the good reverend, but if someone spotted her they would surely tell her father and everything would be as good as ruined. Thankfully, no one was watching, so Lydia picked up her skirts and sprinted down the path to the house. Outside the door, Lydia fished the letter out of her stocking before she knocked.

A few moments later, Reverend Tallmadge opened the door. He gently smiled. "Lydia, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Lydia held the letter up for him to see. "Ben wanted me to deliver this to you." She smiled as she handed him the letter.

Reverend Tallmadge looked at the letter in his hand for a moment before he asked, "Would you care to come in?"

Lydia nodded her head and crossed the threshold into the Tallmadge house. She remembered coming here often as a child. Before Ben's mother had died, she had taken a liking to her and invited her over frequently. In fact, it was the first Missus Tallmadge that taught Lydia to bake an area Widow Browne had failed miserably in her teaching. Of course, the house had changed since those days, especially given the fact that there was a different lady of the house. Lydia had nothing against the current Missus Tallmadge, but she missed Ben's mother-a woman who had been like a mother to her, especially given the fact that Lydia never got a chance to know her own mother.

"I'm afraid I don't have much to offer," Reverend Tallmadge apologised. "My wife is out visiting her kin and I had her take Isaac along. I sent them out after we heard of the murder and before she got a chance to prepare for me to be on my own."

She nodded her head in understanding. "When are they expected back?"

He shrugged. "I told her to stay as long as she cared to, especially with things the way they are in Setauket."

"If I would have known your wife was out, I would have brought something into town with me. But alas, I did not." Lydia chewed her lip for a moment before she suggested, "How about I fix you up a few things? "

Reverend Tallmadge sighed and shook his head. "I couldn't ask that of you, Lydia."

She smiled. "You don't have to, I'm offering. Besides, it will give us a chance to chat for a spell. It's not often we get to do so."

"No, I suppose we don't," he agreed. He led Lydia to the kitchen where she rolled up her sleeves and immediately set to work. Reverend Tallmadge sat on a stool and watched as she worked. "I've been meaning to thank you for those turnovers you sent over last. They tasted just like the ones Susannah used to make."

Lydia hung her head slightly and blushed. "Well, I did use her recipe," she confessed.

Reverend Tallmadge smiled at her. He had often wondered why the good Lord only blessed him with sons, but sometimes God worked in mysterious ways. He cleared his throat. "How is your father?" he asked.

She glanced up from her prepping and made eye contact with Reverend Tallmadge. She knew her father to be a sore spot for him. The two men had once shared a friendship until the day her father had marched from Tallmadge's church. Lydia was quite certain the two hadn't shared a single word with each other since that day. She sighed, "He's doing well. Stubborn as ever, but well."

He folded his arms across his chest. "What's he being stubborn about this time?"

"I think the better question is what _isn't_ he being stubborn about." Lydia wiped her hands on the towel nearby before she sighed once again. "Although finding me a suitable husband seems to one of his top priorities these days." Lydia shared a knowing glance with Reverend Tallmadge. "Did you know that Ben asked my father for my hand his final year at Yale and my father refused him?"

Reverend Tallmadge nodded. "I did. He was rather discouraged for some time afterwards."

Lydia folded her arms across her chest. "He never told me. I only just heard about it a few days ago from my father. Why didn't he tell me?"

"I don't know why Benjamin never told you, Lydia. Perhaps it was he didn't want you to know how much the refusal had hurt his pride Pride goeth before a fall."

"He should have told me," Lydia said rather stubbornly before she began chopping. She blew a tendril of hair from her face. "Not that it really matters now."

Reverend Tallmadge nodded knowingly. "I assume that since you come bearing a letter for me from my son that you've heard from him?"

"Aye. I saw him last night." Lydia felt her cheeks flame as she refused to meet Reverend Tallmadge's gaze.

"How is he?"

"He's alive, thank the Lord. I had to force it out of him to tell me that he was shot in the shoulder. Didn't tell me how though. Although, maybe he told you." Lydia pointed to the still unread letter in Reverend Tallmadge's hand. She smiled softly. "I'll stop talking so you have a chance to read it."

Reverend Tallmadge chuckled to himself before he nodded his head and opened Ben's letter. Lydia finished preparing the turnovers and placed them in the oven as he read the letter. She then set to making some vegetable stew for the good reverend. Stew should at least last him a few days. Although, he would need to find some meat to pair it with.

As she chopped up the vegetables, Lydia glanced over at Reverend Tallmadge. He sat there reading the letter with a hand covering his mouth, but his eyes conveyed his worry. "Is something wrong?"

"The only news Benjamin has of Samuel is that he's aboard the Jersey."

Lydia sighed. Samuel was Ben's older brother, the oldest Tallmadge son. He was taken captive by the British and was now aboard the prison ship where Selah Strong had just been sent. Lydia walked over to Reverend Tallmadge and reached for his hand. "Perhaps we should pray?" Lydia suggested.

Reverend Tallmadge nodded his head before he bowed it and closed his eyes. Lydia followed suit as the reverend asked the Lord to watch over his oldest son and that His will be done. She mumbled her own amen when the prayer was finished before she returned to the meal she was preparing.

The stew simmered over the fire as Lydia set the turnovers on the table to cool. She then announced to Reverend Tallmadge that she best hie herself home. He stood up and hugged her. "God has truly blessed me and my family with you," he said to her.

Lydia smiled somewhat uncomfortably, she was terrible at accepting compliments. She chastely kissed Ben's father's cheek before she took her leave and escaped back to Whitehall.

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 **Author's Note: So...we finally got to see Ben! I know y'all have been waiting and he finally made his appearance! :) I hope you enjoyed getting to read about Ben/Lyddie as much as I enjoyed getting to write about them. Although, I must confess that they make me nervous! I don't get to write much lovey stuff because I'm a sucker for very slow-burn. So, this was kinda different for me! Thank you to everyone who was supported this story so far. It means the world to me! :)**

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If you'd like to see some OLAW edits, feel free to check out my tumblr: missjanuarylily. Thanks for taking the time to read and review! :)


	5. Who By Fire

**Chapter 5: Who by Fire**

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~*~ _Early_ _November 1767_ ~*~

 _The people of Setauket had gathered for their yearly celebration. A large bonfire burned in the centre of the green. The men chatted with ales in hand. The women prepared tables of food soon to be served. Most of the children ran about playing games. But not nine, almost ten-year-old Lydia Woodhull. Lydia shifted uncomfortably on the bench from where she sat watching the other children run. She was quite envious, wishing that she could be out there with them. But, her father had insisted she sit and not wear herself out because she was finally on the mend from an early autumn cold she had caught. So, there she sat wrapped in her cloak with a blanket spread across her lap staring at the fire._

 _Lydia frowned as Abe ran past with Ben and Caleb. She felt fine, but she knew her father to be over cautious as far as she was concerned. She fidgeted on the bench before folding her arms across her chest to pout. Lydia knew that she should be grateful that her father even allowed her to come in the first place, but she couldn't help her feelings on the matter. All she could do was try to conceal them and that wasn't going so well._

" _Are you feeling better, Lydia?" a woman's voice asked as she approached the bench where Lydia sat. Lydia turned to see that the voice belonged to Missus Tallmadge, Ben's mother. The woman smiled softly at the young girl before taking a seat beside her on the bench. "Benjamin tells me that you've been ill."_

 _Lydia nodded her head. "But I'm feeling much better now, thank you." She tried to give Ben's mother a smile, but when the boys ran by once again. This time Annie Smith was even running about with them. Lydia couldn't help but show her jealousy as her face fell and her bottom lip jutted out._

 _Missus Tallmadge chuckled before she gently pressed her hand against Lydia's forehead and held it there for a few seconds. "No fever," she muttered to herself. She then cupped Lydia's cheeks with her hands and eyed her curiously. "Your colouring is good. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be allowed to play for a bit."_

" _My father…"_

" _Surely wouldn't object between a game of graces between us girls." Missus Tallmadge smiled, her eyes shining in the firelight. The Tallmadge children must have gotten their rebellious streak from her. The older woman took hold of Lydia's hand and led her to a set of hoops and sticks that two girls had left lying there. Missus Tallmadge picked up a pair of sticks and handed them to Lydia. "Do you remember how to play?" she asked, having taught Lydia the game during the summer._

 _Lydia's brow furrowed. "I believe so."_

 _Missus Tallmadge gently patted Lydia's shoulder. "I'll start and we'll see what you remember." Lydia nodded her head, causing her hood to fall back. "But first, fix your hood, child." Lydia quickly did as she was told as Missus Tallmadge picked up a hoop. The older woman slipped the hoop on one of her sticks before she managed the second stick through it, crossing the sticks so that they looked almost like scissors. "Now, you try to catch the hoop with your sticks, Lydia."_

 _Lydia chewed her bottom lip and carefully watched as the hoop hurtled toward her. A slight breeze caused the hoop to veer in a different direction. Lydia chased after it, but it fell to the ground before she could get close to it. It was then her turn, she bent over to pick it up before she put the hoop on her sticks and flung it toward Missus Tallmadge. The older woman caught it and Lydia clapped in excitement. She liked spending time with Missus Tallmadge much better than she did Widow Browne. Missus Tallmadge acted like what Lydia thought a mother would act like, Widow Browne never did that. Besides, Missus Tallmadge said that despite the good Lord blessing her with five sons, she had always hoped for a daughter._

 _They continued to play, throwing the hoop back and forth until young Isaac Tallmadge came running toward his mother. "Mother! Mother!" the five-year-old called. "John is being mean to me! He pushed me!" The small boy wrapped his arms around his mother's skirts. John was two months older than Lydia and he was probably the rowdiest of the Tallmadge boys. He certainly kept his mother on her toes._

 _Missus Tallmadge looked over at Lydia sympathetically and sighed. "If you'll excuse me for just a moment," Missus Tallmadge said to Lydia, gently rubbing Isaac's back. "Duty calls." Lydia nodded her head in understanding. Missus Tallmadge turned to walk with Isaac when Ben ran past, nearly running into his mother. "Benjamin!" Missus Tallmadge called._

 _Ben stopped in his tracks. He turned to face his mother somewhat sheepishly. "Yes, Mother?" he asked with his hands behind his back._

" _Please stay and play with Lydia while I deal with your brothers."_

 _Lydia could have sworn she saw him breathe a sigh of relief over not being in trouble. He then nodded his head and said, "Yes, Mother." Missus Tallmadge hanged her sticks to Ben before she walked away with Isaac. Ben stared at the sticks in confusion which made Lydia giggle. "What exactly are am I supposed to do with these?"_

" _Haven't you ever played before Benj?" Lydia asked with a grin._

" _No," Ben scoffed. "This is a girl's game." He glanced at Lydia to see that her grin had faded to a disheartened as she lowered her sticks. Immediately, he knew he had said the wrong thing. He hated seeing her like that and knew he needed to rectify the situation. "But I'm sure it can't be all that bad," he added, closing the distance between them. With his height, he easily towered over Lydia as he stood there. "That is if you'd be willing to teach a cad like me."_

 _Ben glanced pleadingly at Lydia. For a moment she pursed her lips and rested her hands on her hips, scrutinising him with narrowed eyes. "You just don't want to get in trouble with your mother," she mused._

" _That's part of it," he admitted sheepishly. Glancing down at Lydia, Ben seeing that he hadn't quite convinced her. "Please, Lyddie?" he asked with his boyish grin._

 _Lydia sighed. She always had a hard time saying no to Ben. "Fine," she groaned, rolling her eyes. Ben smiled and gently nudged her arm with his elbow. Then, just as Missus Tallmadge had taught her how to play the game, Lydia taught Ben how to play._

 _While Ben picked the game up fairly quickly, much to his surprise, the game was actually harder than he thought it would be. Lydia would giggle every time he tried to hurdle the hoop toward her. Somehow, he always managed to make a mess of things. Although, after the first several attempts he began doing it on purpose because it made Lydia laugh. He liked hearing her laugh and being the one to make her do so. Besides, she could probably use a good laugh or two after being cooped up at Whitehall since she had taken ill._

 _After several rounds back and forth with the hoop, Ben saw someone sneaking up on Lydia from behind. The young man motioned for Ben to be quiet by placing a lone finger across his lips. Ben gave a slight nod of his head and smiled before he called for Lydia to send the hoop in his direction. She was certainly in for a surprise._

 _Lydia flung the hoop in Ben's direction and he easily caught it. Just then, the young man growled from behind Lydia, frightening her. She screamed, which made Ben start to laugh, as the young man wrapped his arms around Lydia. Lydia turned with wide eyes to find that the person sneaking up on her was her eldest brother Thomas. She squealed and flung her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Lydia sorely missed her eldest brother who was away in York City for schooling._

" _Good work, Tallmadge," Thomas chuckled, nodding his head at Ben while holding tightly onto his sister._

 _Ben nodded his head in return, hiding the sticks for the game of graces behind his back in slight embarrassment. He just stood there watching the Woodhull siblings when Abe, Caleb, and Annie ran past. Ben turned his head to watch his friends, torn between the duty his mother had asked of him and wanting to play with his friends. Lydia must have noticed because she said, "Go on, Benj. You are hereby released from your obligation to play with me."_

" _You're sure?" he asked hesitantly. Lydia nodded her head, causing the hood of her cape to fall. She smiled at him and he knew that she meant her words. Ben dropped the sticks he had been holding. "I'll make it up to you. I promise." He then quickly ran away, chasing after his friends._

 _Lydia leaned against her older brother as she watched Ben run away. Thomas cleared his throat behind her. She turned to look at her brother who glanced at her with an eyebrow raised. "Benjamin Tallmadge, huh?" he asked. "Isn't he a bit old for you?"_

 _She rolled her eyes. "I'm nine, Thomas."_

" _Almost ten. Which means Father's going to be thinking of marrying you off sooner or later."_

 _Lydia folded her arms across her chest and looked at him quite unamused. Thomas laughed and ruffled her hair. "I'm only teasing you. Now, pull that hood on, sister. Father tells me you've been ill."_

" _I'm fine," Lydia groaned._

" _Do as you're told, Lydia. Besides, Father would have my hide if he knew I let you about without it on. You wouldn't want that, would you?" Lydia shook her head before she tugged her hood back on. "Was that so hard?" Thomas asked with a slight chuckle. He didn't wait for her response. "Now, come, Lydia. Let us stand by the food. The womenfolk look almost done and it's closer to the fire. We don't want Father fretting too much. You know how he gets."_

 _Thomas offered Lydia his arm and she accepted it before they walked a little closer toward the fire and food. "How long are you home?"_

" _Not as long as you'd like, but let's not dwell on that now, Lydia. Let's enjoy what time we do have together."_

 _Lydia nodded her head and did as she was told, following Thomas toward the food. Aberdeen had packed them a basket with plates and cutlery for the evening and their father came toward them with it. "Good to see you home, son," Richard said extending his hand toward Thomas. Thomas smiled and shook his father's hand. Richard then turned toward his daughter. He bent down and kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling?" he asked._

" _Father, I'm fine," Lydia stated._

 _Richard felt his daughter's cheeks. "I don't want you tiring yourself and taking ill again, Lydia."_

" _I hardly think she can tire herself much more sitting on that bench eating her dinner, Father," Thomas spoke up in her defence. Richard nodded his head and gruffly agreed. Thomas smiled down at his sister._

 _Suddenly, people stopped talking and children stopped playing. Reverend Tallmadge led the group in prayer. When he finished everyone joined in on the amen before the food line began to form. Thomas and Lydia joined the line for food. As they went through the line, Lydia couldn't help but notice some of the older girls giggling as Thomas walked by them. For the most part, Thomas seemed oblivious._

" _Are you just going to ignore them?" Lydia asked her brother as they walked to a bench with their plates in hand._

 _Thomas shrugged his shoulders. "Haven't yet decided. But for now, the only girl who has my attention is you." Thomas reached down and tapped his sister's nose. Lydia looked up at her brother and grinned. They sat down on the bench and began to eat their food._

 _They were soon joined by Abe, Ben, and Caleb. While the bench could usually only fit four people, the five of them squeezed together. Ben smiled as he sat down beside Lydia. Although, they didn't speak a word to each other while they ate. Ben slightly turned his back toward her while he conversed with Caleb and Abe._

 _After Lydia had finished eating the food on her plate, she attempted to stifle a yawn. Thomas chuckled and took her plate from her before he went back for second helpings. Not realising how tired she was, Lydia nodded off, accidentally falling asleep on Ben's shoulder. "Lyddie. Lyddie, wake up," Ben whispered to her, gently shrugging his shoulder trying to wake her, but she wouldn't wake._

 _Before he could tell Abe or Caleb, they took off running, leaving Ben sitting there with Lydia sleeping on him. Ben didn't want to leave her alone. Besides, if he moved, she would likely fall in a heap to the ground. He glanced at the food to see Thomas engrossed in conversation. So, Ben just sat there, as still as he could. He watched the flames of the fire flicker until Judge Woodhull finally came to fetch his sleeping daughter._

 _Judge Woodhull approached with Ben's father, noting their children. Reverend Tallmadge had a good laugh at seeing Lydia asleep on his son before he said something to Richard that Ben couldn't quite make out. Ben looked rather uncomfortable as Judge Woodhull eyed him somewhat suspiciously. The boy refused to make eye contact with the magistrate. Judge Woodhull grunted before he lifted his daughter into his arms and carried her away._

* * *

~*~Early November 1776~*~

The sun was just beginning to rise as Lydia awakened. Slowly, she stretched and glanced at the empty side of her bed. It seemed so long ago now that Ben had graced that spot, despite it only have been days. Every day Lydia prayed that he had managed to come out of the ambush unscathed. While news of the ambush began to trickle into their sleepy hamlet, she still had yet to hear from Ben. Her only assurance was the fact that only the British soldiers seemed to be listed as casualties. _If_ something had happened to Ben, surely word would have reached them by now.

But Lydia could not spend her days only fretting about Ben. She had duties that needed attending. So, she rose from her bed and readied herself for the day, dressing in an informal caraco and petticoat before loosely pinning her hair out of her face. Walking into the hall, she took note that while her father's door was open, Major Hewlett's was not. He was either still sleeping or dressing. Not wanting to disturb him, Lydia quietly descended the stairs, making sure to skip the one that loudly creaked.

She had just reached the bottom of the stairs when she glanced out the window to see Abraham and their father engrossed in a rather serious conversation. Reaching for her shawl, she put it on before she opened the door and walked onto the porch. There was a chill in the air that nearly knocked the breath out of her for a moment, but she exhaled seeing her breath in the air. "Good morning, Father. Abraham," Lydia greeted, pulling the shawl a little tighter.

Richard and Abraham simply stared at her, neither one speaking a word. Lydia's brow furrowed. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"This is a matter for the magistrate," Richard answered. "Back inside with you."

Lydia nodded her head and turned to go when Abe said, "Father, she might as well know. I'm sure the whole town will know within the hour." Richard sighed and pondered Abe's words for a moment before he finally nodded his head. Abe looked at his sister. "Someone set fire to my crop this morning."

"Are Mary and Thomas…" Lydia asked worriedly.

"Fine, they're both fine. But my crop is gone."

"Thank the Lord your family is unharmed, but Abraham, I'm so sorry." She bridged the distance between them and embraced him in a hug. "Do you know who it was?"

Abe shook his head as he gently patted his sister's back. "They wore masks of Guy Fawkes like the soldiers are making for the bonfire night."

Lydia then turned toward her father. "Father, isn't there anything you can do?"

Richard sighed. "As I was telling Abraham, it could have been almost anyone. There are plenty of people who think he got away with murdering Captain Joyce and would find this to be a just reward."

"How is setting fire to his crop just? An eye for an eye I get, but this? It's wrong. Even _if_ Abraham committed the deed accused against him, it's still wrong." Lydia turned toward Abe. "Not that I think you killed Captain Joyce because I don't. I know you didn't. We might not always see eye to eye on things, but I know you Abe and I know you couldn't do that. Besides, what about what the good Lord says in Matthew about taking a grievance up with your brother? Talking to them about it. Whoever did this can't possibly call themselves Christian."

"I concur," Richard said. He glanced at Abe and then at Lydia. "Lydia, why don't you go check on Aberdeen and make sure she has breakfast started. I'm quite famished."

Lydia arched an eyebrow. "You could have just said that you wished to speak further with Abraham _alone_ instead of sending me off on a meaningless task."

"Lydia, do as you're told."

"Yes, Father." Lydia plastered a fake smile on her face before she turned around and walked back inside. Once she closed the door behind her, she rolled her eyes in disgust. She hated being treated less than what she was. Just because she was of the delicate sex didn't mean she was actually delicate. Not that most men seemed to pay that fact any heed.

Lydia glanced inside the kitchen. Aberdeen seemed to have everything perfectly handled, as usual. There really was no reason for her to check on Aberdeen. Lydia sighed, causing Aberdeen to glance up at her. "Everything all right, child?" Aberdeen asked.

For a moment, Lydia debated confessing her troubles to Aberdeen. She had always been able to trust Aberdeen in the past, but unsure of when her father might return she decided against it. Lydia simply nodded her head with a forced smile on her face before she walked away. Overhead, she could hear the footsteps of Major Hewlett. This was the latest he had wakened since taking up residence at Whitehall. Although Lydia was fairly certain he had received word of the ambush in Connecticut by this point, although he said nothing, she was certain his nights had been filled with restless sleep. Whereas Lydia had slept quite soundly knowing that Simcoe had been taken care of.

When it was finally time for breakfast, Lydia sat at the table with her father and Major Hewlett. Neither man conversed much. Both men seemed to be lost in their thoughts, something Lydia could often relate with, but it did make for a dreadfully boring meal. She took a bite of her eggs and wiped the corner of her mouth with her napkin. "Father, I was wondering if I might get a ride this morning," Lydia said.

"Where to?" Richard asked quizzically. He knew that his daughter much preferred to walk rather than ride along in the cart.

"I-I was thinking that I would stop by and see Mary and Thomas. To see how they are doing and perhaps bring them some vittles."

"Why would you need to bring Abraham's family vittles?" Major Hewlett questioned.

Lydia pursed her lips for a moment, glancing at her father. They made eye contact. It was clear that Richard wasn't pleased that his daughter had chosen to include the major in the conversation. Lydia mused that her father probably wanted to speak with Major Hewlett on the matter when she was not present because it wasn't a woman's place to be in the conversation. But Lydia knew that she could push her father to a certain extent. So, she tried her luck. "Are you going to tell him or must I?"

Major Hewlett arched an eyebrow. "Tell me what?"

Richard grumbled something under his breath before he looked at Major Hewlett. "Someone set fire to Abraham's crop."

Hewlett's eyes widened. "Is everyone all right?" Richard nodded his head and the major breathed a sigh of relief. "While it is a travesty to lose one's means of livelihood, it is by the grace of God that his family was spared. Richard, if there is any way I can be of assistance…"

"Perhaps," Richard interrupted the major. "But now is not the company in which to discuss such matters."

Lydia immediately tensed at her father's words. She knew that he was referring to her. While she wanted to speak her mind on the matter, she knew better than to talk back to her father in front of the major. Rather begrudgingly, Lydia took another bite of her breakfast as the conversation once again lulled back to silence.

When breakfast was through, Lydia packed a basket of vittles. She debated changing her clothes to something less informal, but Mary and Thomas were family. Not to mention that there was no one in Setauket whom she was trying to impress. The only person she ever wanted to impress was Ben, but she never really had to try. Lydia sighed at thoughts of Ben. She already missed him, but she knew better than to perform the ruse again. She would just have to find contentment remembering his visit.

Outside, her father helped her onto the cart. He was going to let her off at Abe's before he continued into town. Town no doubt would be busy with the preparations for the bonfire night. Lydia wasn't all that sure she wanted to attend the gathering. Although she had a sneaking suspicion as the daughter of the magistrate, still living under his roof, she would be forced to attend. Her father always used these occasions to seek out any husband prospects, but Lydia only had a place in her heart for Ben. Not that she could tell her father that. Not now anyway, but she would have to tell him eventually because he was bound to find a suitable prospect sooner or later.

The ride to Abe's was a rather silent affair. Lydia mused that her father must have had much on his mind. Much that he couldn't share with her. She was thankful when their cart pulled up to Abe's farm. There was a smoky haze outside and there was a charry scent to the air. Lydia shielded her eyes from the sun to get a better look at the building that had been set ablaze. Her heart sunk at the sight of the destroyed building. While she was thankful that Abe, Luke, and Jeremiah had managed to keep the fire from spreading to the house, the sight hurt her heart for her brother. Abe always seemed to have terrible luck when it came to striking out on his own.

The door to the house opened. Mary walked outside with Thomas perched on her hip. Richard hopped off the cart and helped Lydia down as they approached. "Good morning, Father. Good morning, Lydia," Mary greeted. "To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?" Her tone was rather chipper, especially given the seriousness of what happened to her husband's hard labour.

"I'm on my way into town and Lydia wished to visit," Richard said before holding his hands out toward Thomas. "And I happily obliged as it would allow me the chance to see my little soldier."

Mary handed Thomas over before she wiped her hands on her petticoat. "Well, there is plenty of work to be done and I would appreciate the help. That is if you can spare Lydia, Father."

Richard nodded his head. "She's all yours, Mary."

"And if _you_ don't mind helping," Mary said to Lydia with a chuckle.

Lydia smiled and handed Mary the basket of vittles. "We're family. Of course, I'll help where I can." Mary smiled as she accepted the basket.

"Just have her home this afternoon, Mary," Richard said gently bouncing his grandson. He then looked at his daughter. "I'll pick you up and escort you to the bonfire night."

Wisely, Lydia said nothing. She just nodded her head, having already anticipated such a plot. Instead, she just reached out and took her nephew from her father. With baby Thomas in her arms, her father kissed his grandson's forehead before kissing his daughter's forehead. Lydia sighed and watched her father climb back on the cart before he drove away toward town. She waved Thomas's arm for him, which made the boy giggle. Lydia then pressed a kiss against his cheek before she followed Mary inside.

"It was very good of you to come, Lydia," Mary said as she held the door open for Lydia.

Lydia crossed the threshold into the house. "I wanted to be sure you were all right. Abe's news was surely unsettling. Although I must confess, deep down, part of me was selfishly hoping that I would be able to skip the bonfire night." Lydia smirked at her sister-in-law.

Mary shook her head and chuckled. "If I didn't have Thomas to look after I would go myself."

"Then I would have someone to share in my misery." Lydia sat down at the table in front of the hearth with Thomas on her lap.

"You're just being dramatic. I'm sure it won't be that bad."

Lydia arched an eyebrow. "Then I'm afraid you are underestimating Richard Woodhull's abilities. It's a good thing none of the soldiers in the garrison can pass his muster or I'd be entered into an engagement against my will this very evening."

Just then Ensign Baker entered the room. His wig wasn't on quite right and his red coat was carelessly strewn against the back of a chair. When he caught sight of Lydia, he froze for a moment and stared at her blankly. Lydia sympathetically offered him a smile. "Good-good morning, Miss Woodhull," Ensign Baker stammered.

"Good morning, Ensign Baker," Lydia said lightly.

Still flustered, he continued. "I-I wasn't expecting you."

"This is my brother's home."

"Oh. Right. I knew that."

Lydia glanced at Mary to save her. Mary smiled and shook her head. "Would you like some breakfast, Ensign Baker?" Mary asked.

Ensign Baker turned to look at Mary. It was as if he hadn't known she was there the entire time. "I-I'm late for my sentry post. Otherwise, I would." Mary nodded her head knowingly. Ensign Baker stood there for a moment before he awkwardly crossed the room to grab his coat. He put his coat on and then glanced between Lydia and Mary. After clearing his throat he said, "Good day, Missus Woodhull, Miss Woodhull." He turned to leave and tripped over the leg of the chair.

Lydia kissed the top of her nephew's head to hide the smile that threatened to give her away. Mary must have seen her reaction because she got a glint in her eyes. "Ensign Baker," Mary said, causing the man to turn toward her and look at her curiously. "Were you planning on attending the bonfire night this evening?"

"I-uh-yes," he stammered. "That is if it's all right with you."

Mary chuckled. "By all means. You don't need my permission Ensign Baker." Mary glanced at Lydia before turning toward Ensign Baker once more. "Perhaps you'll make an effort to see Miss Woodhull there then?"

Ensign Baker grinned. "I will." He slightly bowed toward Mary and then Lydia before he took his leave.

Lydia looked at Mary rather incredulously before she took the handkerchief that rested on the table and threw it at her sister. Mary giggled as the cloth missed her. "Mary," Lydia groaned. "That poor man."

Mary placed her hands on her hips. "What? I do think he would make you a fine husband, I've told you as much before, and I do not think he would be opposed to the idea. And before you bring your father into this, I'm sure he could persuaded. Unless you find some fault with him." Mary watched her sister-in-law's expression carefully.

Lydia sighed. Mary didn't know about Ben. Well, she knew that there had once been something between her and Ben, but she wasn't aware of present matters. Lydia often wished she could confide in Mary about Ben. If Mary knew, she might not force the matter, but Lydia knew that would not be advantageous to share her secret. At least not yet anyway. Although it pained her to keep something like this from a woman like a sister to her.

Lydia chewed her lip before she responded, "Perhaps, I just do not wish to marry. Someone needs to look after Father."

"If it is Father you are worried about, I'm hoping that what happened to Abraham's crop will prompt our move to Whitehall. Father wouldn't be alone with Abraham, Thomas, and me. Meaning, you needn't feel obligated to stay with him."

"He's my father. I'll always feel obligated to him. But enough on the subject, please. How might Thomas and I assist you today?" Lydia rested her chin on the top of her nephew's head and looked at Mary.

"Thomas, you offered to help, Aunt Lydia? Good boy," Mary chuckled before chewing her bottom lip and looking at her somewhat dishevelled home. "Would you mind terribly hanging up the wash? I started it before you and Father arrived."

"We can do that, can't we Thomas?" Lydia said to her nephew. "We can help your ma with the wash." Thomas looked up at Lydia and grinned, which made Lydia chuckle before she looked up at Mary. "He doesn't seem opposed to the idea."

"What a good boy, Thomas. Helping your Aunt Lydia is very fine of you." Mary smiled at her son. Seeing his mother's smile made the young boy smile. Mary gently tapped her son's nose before she began tidying up.

Lydia stood up and rested Thomas against her hip before she walked outside. She walked around the house until she came to the place where Mary had the tubs laid out and the clothes soaking. After setting her nephew down on the grass, Lydia pushed up her sleeves and pulled a petticoat from the wash. She wrung the water out before she gave it a couple of shakes and walked it over to the drying line. After the petticoat was hung, Lydia glanced at her nephew and smiled.

"You know what makes the work go by faster, Thomas?" Lydia asked him with her hands on her hips. "Singin'." She bent down and grabbed a nightshirt to wring before she started singing _Johnny's Gone For A Soldier_. Her voice was sweet and clear and entranced young Thomas. It also carried inside the house, where Mary stopped her work inside to listen to Lydia's singing for a moment. But Lydia continued to hang the wash as she sang:

 _Here I sit on Buttermilk Hill_

 _Who can blame me, cryin' my fill_

 _And ev'ry tear would turn a mill,_

 _Johnny has gone for a soldier._

 _Me, oh my, I loved him so,_

 _Broke my heart to see him go,_

 _And only time will heal my woe,_

 _Johnny has gone for a soldier._

 _I'll sell my rod, I'll sell my reel,_

 _Likewise, I'll sell my spinning wheel,_

 _And buy my love a sword of steel,_

 _Johnny has gone for a soldier._

 _I'll dye my dress, I'll dye it red,_

 _And through the streets, I'll beg for bread,_

 _For the lad that I love from me has fled,_

 _Johnny has gone for a soldier._

 _Johnny's gone for a soldier…_

When the song was finished, Lydia walked over to Thomas and knelt beside him. "Can you keep a secret, Thomas?" she whispered. Thomas looked at her with big eyes and blinked. She smiled. "My Benjamin has gone for a soldier." With a sigh, she sat down on the ground. "I hope one day you will get to know him. I think he would make you a fine uncle." Lydia sighed once more. "Oh, Ben."

Thomas looked up at Lydia and seemingly out of nowhere, he said, "Ben." For a moment, Lydia thought she must have imagined it, but when Thomas repeated the name again, her eyes widened in horror. "Ben. Ben. Ben."

"Oh, no, no, no," Lydia whispered to her nephew shaking her head. She placed a hand over his mouth as he continued to babble the name. She placed a lone finger in front of her lips. "Sh!" But Thomas must have found it to be an amusing game because he continued to repeat Ben against Lydia's hand. "No, Thomas. Stop."

Thankfully, Thomas stopped. Lydia breathed a sigh of relief. She shouldn't have been so careless to talk about Ben in front of Thomas, but sometimes she just needed someone to talk to about Ben. Especially since she was not supposed to be interacting with Anna Strong. Not that she listened, but still she did not get to see her friend as much as she liked.

Lydia removed her hand from Thomas's mouth. "Good boy," she told him. She kissed his cheek before she returned to finish her task of hanging the wash to dry. Once the task was done, she picked Thomas up and carried him back inside.

They just stopped in front of the hearth when Thomas said, "Ben." Lydia froze, hoping that Mary had not heard her son, but Thomas continued. "Ben. Ben. Ben."

Sure enough, Mary turned around and glanced at them with her brow furrowed.

"Pen, I think he's trying to say pen. Must have been listening when I was talking to him while I was hanging the wash," Lydia offered, hoping that Mary would believe her. It was much easier than explaining the alternative.

A moment later, Mary nodded her head and smiled before she crossed the room to take hold of her son. "It seems like he picks up on so much these days," Mary said, hugging Thomas. "Soon enough he will be walking and talking. Not that he needs to grow up so fast."

Lydia breathed a sigh of relief that Mary didn't seem to think much of the situation. Although, Thomas continued to repeat the name _Ben_ for the remainder of her visit.

Several more chores and a meal later, Lydia walked back to Whitehall to ready herself for the bonfire night. Her casual attire certainly would not be acceptable for a social outing such as this. While she needed time to ready herself, Lydia kept an unusually slow pace on her jaunt back home. It was the least she could do to delay the inevitable.

Upon her return to Whitehall, she found her father already home. He had Aberdeen standing by to help her dress. It was clear that he was not going to let her waste more time than she already had. He knew her too well. So, Lydia did as was expected of her. Aberdeen helped her change into her blue silk gown. Not that it was all that suitable for being outdoors, but her father had suggested she wear it to Aberdeen. She was far too dressed up for the occasion. Lydia hoped that he hadn't invited suitors in an attempt to woo her, although, she would not put it past him.

When her hair was done and everything was in place, Lydia descended the stairs. Her father was impatiently waiting for her at the bottom. While he did not vocalise his frustration, it was quite clear from his facial expression. But he took a step toward her and offered his daughter his arm. Lydia accepted his arm. She gently rested her hand on his arm before she followed him outside to the cart.

Once they reached the green, Richard helped his daughter from the cart. He kissed her cheek and told her to enjoy herself. Lydia found his words suspicious, but she did not say anything. Instead, she kissed his cheek in return before they parted for a time. Lydia walked through the townspeople at the bonfire looking for someone to keep her company. Aside from Mary and Anna, Lydia didn't have much for female companionship.

The girls her age had always thought her wild, growing up in a home of only men and wanted little to do with her. Then there were some of them who still looked down on her in spite and jealousy for _bewitching_ Benjamin Tallmadge when they were young. To this day, they still carried that pettiness with them. Although, most of them were quite relieved they hadn't garnered his attention once they found out he had joined the Rebel cause. Sadly, it seemed the only people who had any interest in her were the menfolk and she did not care for nor want their attention. Well, the older and married womenfolk did not seem to mind her, but she often wondered if it was only because they took pity on her because of her situation.

Lydia walked around the area several times hoping to find Anna or Reverend Tallmadge, but she found neither. Anna was likely at the tavern working and Lydia hadn't really expected Reverend Tallmadge to come. So, just like she had nine years earlier, Lydia found a bench and settled down. Although, this time it was by choice and not out of obedience.

So, Lydia sat there and watched the people of Setauket and the soldiers enjoying themselves as the sky continued to darken. She wished she was able to enjoy herself, but her thoughts kept turning to Ben and what they would be doing if he were here. Lydia found herself watching a newly married couple near the fire. They snuck a kiss thinking no one was watching them. Lydia blushed and quickly turned to gaze into the fire, losing herself to her thoughts.

* * *

 _~*~ June 1772~*~_

 _It was summer and the young men who had gone off for schooling were back home for a time. The young people of Setauket were holding a gathering outside Whitehall to celebrate their return. With two sons returning for a time, Judge Woodhull had offered to host the gathering and much to Lydia's surprise, he had given her permission to attend._

 _For that Lydia was grateful. She had been corresponding with Benjamin Tallmadge for three years now and he had easily captured her heart. While she knew it wasn't likely that she would be allowed to spend much time with him alone, simply being able to see him once again would be enough for her. Especially since she hadn't seen him since before he had taken ill while at Yale. He had come down with the measles and Lydia had prayed for his recovery every day after hearing word of his illness. Thankfully, he was now on the mend. Nevertheless, she was excited to see him._

 _Lydia had just finished placing her apple tarts on the makeshift table outside when she looked up to see the Tallmadge boys approaching. The only Tallmadge boy, not present was Isaac, but he was much too young for such an event. She waved at them. Ben was the first to wave back at her, quickly followed by John. Neither William nor Samuel seemed to take notice of her. Lydia sighed and chewed her lip. John was beginning to become a bit of a thorn in her side. It seemed like Ben wasn't the only Tallmadge boy vying for her affection._

" _I see Ben's home," Annie Smith said as she approached the table. Annie grinned rather slyly at Lydia, who blushed. That made Annie laugh and Lydia blush even more. Annie was very much like a sister to her and Lydia wouldn't be surprised if Annie and Abe got engaged within the next year or two. "Aren't you going to go greet him?" Annie asked with her hands on her hips. "It would be rude not to."_

 _Lydia looked hesitantly at the Tallmadge boys. Annie rolled her eyes. "Well, if you're not going to…" Annie turned to head toward them when Lydia took off in a sprint. Annie stopped and grinned as she watched young Lydia run toward them. Her plan had worked just as she had expected it to._

 _Lydia slowed her pace and smoothed out her petticoat as she drew closer to the Tallmadge boys. Ben seemed to be grinning like a fool as she approached them. Lydia didn't catch how the other boys responded because she only had eyes for Ben. That was when she wasn't blushing and gazing at the ground. "It's quite good of you all to come," Lydia said to them._

" _We wouldn't have missed it," John answered first. He received a jab in the rib from Ben for that._

" _Please thank your father for hosting," Ben said politely, making eye contact with Lydia. She smiled holding his gaze._

" _Perhaps we should go thank him ourselves," Samuel said glancing knowingly at Ben. This time it was Ben who blushed ever so slightly. William was more than willing to walk away, but John was not. "Oi, John, c'mon!" Samuel had to wrap his arm around John and walk him away, despite the younger boy's protests. But neither Ben nor Lydia paid him any attention._

" _Hi," Ben said evenly._

" _Hi," Lydia responded, tugging at her cap nervously. She was not sure why she was so nervous. It was just Ben. The same Ben she had known all her life. The same Ben who was best friends with her brother. But yet, her stomach was doing flips._

 _Ben cleared his throat. "How are you?"_

" _I'm well. And you?"_

" _I'm doing well. Better than I have been. The Setauket fresh air seems to agree with me." That made her smile and her smile was contagious and made Ben smile too. "It's good to see you, Lyddie," he whispered._

" _You too, Benj," Lydia whispered back._

 _Just then, Caleb and Abe came running toward Ben. Caleb jumped onto Ben's back and howled. Ben grunted. Lydia was afraid he would topple over, especially still recovering from his illness, but Ben somehow managed to brace himself beneath Caleb's weight. Abe patted Ben's shoulder before he told Ben and Caleb to follow him and walked away. Caleb encouraged Ben to go, much like one would a horse. Ben rolled his eyes and looked at Lydia apologetically._

" _Benny-boy!" Caleb groaned, tugging at Ben's hair._

" _One moment, Caleb," Ben groaned._

" _You can see Lyddie-girl later. Ain't that right, Lyddie?" Caleb looked directly at Lydia. She sighed and gave her nod of approval. Caleb whooped. "Let's go, Tall-boy."_

 _Lydia watched as Ben walked away, carrying Caleb on his back. Ben had taken a few steps before he looked at Lydia over his shoulder. She nodded once more. While she would rather be the one with Ben, she knew it would never do to annoy Abe or Caleb this early into the summer season._

 _Slowly, Lydia walked back to where Annie stood watching the entire thing. Annie smiled knowingly, but thankfully she said nothing. Instead, they simply stood there watching the young people of Setauket begin to make their way to Whitehall. Moments later the bonfire was started and the festivities began._

 _Lydia stuck close to Annie throughout the evening. But that didn't stop her from catching glances here and there from Ben. Annie knew every time Lydia caught Ben looking at her because Lydia would blush, which then made Annie tease Lydia. But really, Lydia didn't mind too much because she knew that Annie understood her predicament, being in a similar one with Abe._

 _After some eating, drinking, and merriment, the young people settled on a game. Someone had suggested Going to Jerusalem. The game wasn't hard. Tree slice stumps were placed in a circle, one less stump than there were players. While music played, the players would walk around the ring of stumps. When the music stopped playing, everyone must find a seat. The player without a seat was then out of the game and took a stump with them. The game continued until there was only one person left sitting. Although, the stakes were a bit higher with this game. The boys were to have their own ring and the girls their own ring. At the end of the game, the winning boy and winning girl were to kiss._

 _Lydia had almost decided not to play, knowing her father might be watching; but Annie grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her into the game. "Methinks Ben hopes for a kiss," Annie whispered in Lydia's ear. Lydia giggled and glanced at Ben who had joined the group of boys gathering around their ring of tree slice stumps. He smiled at Lydia with a rather lop-sided grin before Abe garnered his attention._

" _I'm sure Abraham is just as eager," Lydia said to Annie._

" _Aye," Annie chuckled, adjusting her cap. "But there seems to be plenty of eager boys over there."_

 _Lydia glanced over at the other boys and they were eyeing the girls with great interest. She awkwardly made eye contact with John Tallmadge before she quickly glanced elsewhere. Lydia promised herself that if Ben got out, she would purposely get out the next round. He was the only one she was interested in kissing...ever._

 _The fiddle began to play and Annie pushed Lydia to start moving. She tried not to make eye contact with Ben as they each walked around their respective ring, but they caught each other's glance at least twice. The music came to a stop and Lydia quickly plopped down onto a stump. She turned to her left to see Annie shaking her head at the boys' circle. Lydia turned to look in that direction before she chuckled. Abe had been the first boy to get out and he didn't look too pleased._

" _I suppose you'll be getting out then?" Lydia asked Annie with a smile._

 _But Annie shook her head. "If I can't get my kiss, then I'm going to do everything I can to get you yours." Lydia didn't say anything. Instead, she just blushed just as the music started once again. She tripped over the hem of her petticoat, but she managed to catch herself and continue to make her way around the ring._

 _True to her word, Annie did everything she could to make sure Lydia stayed in the game. Although, Lydia was sure it was much to Abraham's chagrin that Annie continued. But if Abraham would listen to anyone, it was Annie and surely, she would explain things to him._

 _The rounds went by. One by one, a girl and a boy were each forced out from their ring until each ring was down to its final two competitors. Competing for the girls were Annie and Lydia and for the boys were Ben and John Tallmadge. Ben looked rather annoyed at his brother who was grinning maniacally. Lydia glanced at Annie worriedly. She didn't want to kiss John, although she was certain John wanted to kiss her._

" _I've got a plan," Annie whispered to Lydia. "We'll be sure to go slowly. We'll wait to see which one of them sits down. If it's Ben, then you'll sit down."_

" _And if it's John?" Lydia asked._

 _Annie chewed her bottom lip for a moment before looking Lydia in the eyes. "Don't you worry your pretty head about it. I'm certain Ben will win out. He might be on the mend, but he's still stronger and faster than John, of that I'm certain."_

 _Lydia nodded her head uncertainly. She wasn't anywhere near as certain as Annie about the situation, but she didn't really have a choice in the matter as the music started up for the last time. Lydia's heartbeat nervously as she slowly circled the last stump watching Ben and his brother. Ben looked more determined than ever to win. She could see his lips moving as he spoke to his brother, but she couldn't hear him over the music, clapping, and laughter._

 _The music stopped. Both Annie and Lydia stopped walking and stood to watch the boys. Lydia held her breath as she watched as John tried to push his brother away, but Ben quickly ducked the advance. This caused John to fall in a heap to the ground and allowed Ben to take a seat on the stool. Lydia smiled as Annie hissed her name and forced Lydia to sit down._

 _Everyone started to clap and the boys started to holler. Lydia and Ben both looked at each other blushing. Next thing they knew, they were both being dragged to their feet and being led to each other. Ben and Lyddie found themselves facing each other, unable to tear their gazes away and breathing heavily._

" _Go on you two," Annie teased. "It was to be expected."_

 _Both of them smiled softly. Ben then brought his hands to Lydia's cheeks and cupped them, waiting a moment to see if Lydia would flee, but she did not. She just kept his gaze. Ben slowly leaned in toward her. Lydia lifted her chin, slightly parted her lips, and closed her eyes. Seconds later, Ben's lips gently pressed against hers. She leaned into him, bracing his arms to steady herself. Then Ben's lips pulled away from hers and her eyes flashed open. The kiss had been sweet, but she wished it had last a little longer. Ben and Lydia were all grins as they gazed at each other, completely oblivious to the people surrounding them. Both of them hoping that wouldn't be the last of their kisses._

* * *

 _~*~ End Flashback~*~_

Lydia was knocked out of her reverie by someone sitting down on the bench beside her, calling for her attention. She shook her head, bringing herself back to the present time before she looked at the person beside her. It was a rather burly man with beard and a cap with a feather in it. Lydia had never seen him before, so she eyed him curiously.

"Mind if I sit here for a spell?" the man asked. Lydia simply nodded her head before scooting a little closer to the edge of the bench. The man nodded his head and took a swig of amber liquid. "And who might you be lass?"

She eyed the man for a moment before answering, "Lydia Woodhull."

"Ah, so you're The Jewel of Setauket?"

Lydia's brow furrowed. "Pardon me?"

"The Jewel of Setauket. I can see now that the name is rightly deserved. Men all over York City know of you, lass."

Lydia wanted to groan, but she knew that it wouldn't be polite to do so. No doubt it was her father's doing that she was known throughout York City as such. Instead, she sat a little straight and asked, "And who might you be?"

"Robert Rogers, Queen's Rangers." The man gave a slight bow from where he sat beside her.

After nodding her head in acknowledgement, Lydia asked, "What brings you to Setauket, sir?"

The man leaned in a little closer to her. "I'm looking for one of Washington's men, a dragoon. The only one to manage to survive and escape. But never fear lass, I managed to get a piece of him with a shot. Through the shoulder, if I'm not mistaken."

Lydia's eyes widened in horror as her heart began to race. Shoulder? She had a sinking feeling that this Robert Rogers was talking about Ben. Rogers seemed to notice her discomfort, but he thought it for other reasons. "Don't you worry, lass. I'll get him. Robert Rogers always gets his man. A trip to Setauket was necessary to piece things together."

She nodded her head, hoping that this time the man was wrong. That he wouldn't get his man. That he wouldn't get Ben. But then again, this was a war and the Rangers and Rebels were on opposite sides of it. He then asked, "Might you point me in the direction of your father? I need to have a word." Lydia pointed him in the direction she had last seen her father. Robert Rogers stood and gave a little bow before walking away, leaving Lydia with her thoughts swirling.

She wasn't sure whether to be angry at Ben for not telling her the famed Robert Rogers was the one that shot him or whether to be terrified for him. Both. She was both. Needing some air, away from all the people, Lydia stood up and walked to the outskirts of the people. Then she found herself wandering further, unaware that someone was following her.

As if almost in a trance, Lydia ended up at the tree with her and Ben's initials carved into it. She fell to her knees in front of it and started to pray for Ben. Praying for what seemed like a long time, she finally unfolded her hands and opened her eyes. They took a few moments to adjust to the darkness before she sat down and turned to face the water. It looked eerily calm, reflecting the night sky.

Lydia sat there watching the stars. She and Ben used to sit in this very spot watching the stars, sharing their hopes and dreams of a future with the other. Absently, she felt in the hollow of the tree, not expecting there to be anything, but she was pleasantly surprised to find that there was a letter. Her heart skipped a beat as she quickly snatched the letter and opened it. It was from Ben. It wasn't a long letter, but it was a letter nonetheless. It was hard to read the letter in the darkness. She tilted it, to allow the moon to give some light to the letter when a twig snapped.

Almost immediately, Lydia froze. "Who's there?" she whispered. There was a moment of silence as a figure dressed in a red coat came into view. Her heart began to beat rapidly.

"I'm sorry. I did not wish to startle you," Ensign Baker apologised with both his hands in the air in defence. "I-I just did not wish to see anyone harm you so I followed you to be safe."

After exhaling a breath, she hadn't realised she had been holding, Lydia crumpled her letter so that Ensign Baker couldn't see it. She then got to her feet. "That-that was…" Lydia paused for a moment to catch her breath. "That was very kind of you, sir, but unnecessary."

"I-I hear the way the men talk about you. I had to be sure."

His words made her feel uncomfortable. The only man she had ever suspected was Simcoe, and he was gone, but hearing Ensign Baker's words led her to believe that there were more men with certain inclinations and that didn't bode well for her. Lydia clutched the letter in her hand tightly, not wanting Ensign Baker to see it. She then brushed the leaves from her gown and blew a stray tendril of hair from her face. "Then I thank you, Ensign Baker," Lydia said. "Now, would you mind escorting me back to the bonfire?"

"It would be an honour, Miss Woodhull."

Once they reached the bonfire again, it seemed as if no one had noted their absence, for which she was grateful. The last thing she needed was rumours to be spread about her and Ensign Baker. Although, it might make for a temporary cover for still ongoing relationship with Ben. But that would require more thought.

So, Lydia found her way back to the bench she had previously occupied. Occasionally looking over her shoulder, she could see how closely she was being watched by the menfolk. Perhaps, Ensign Baker had a point and it made her feel rather uncomfortable. She would certainly need to keep a better eye on things. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to form a friendship with Ensign Baker, who seemed honourable enough. But she hated the thought of leading him on, knowing that there could never be anything between the two of them.

Eventually, her father joined her. The smell of ale was on his breath as he sat down beside her. But Lydia didn't care. She rested her head against his shoulder. Richard Woodhull might be a lot of things, but he was her father and when it came down to it, she trusted that he had her best interests at heart. He began to babble on about something in the tavern with Abe and Robert Rogers, but she found unable to pay much attention as her eyelids grew droopy. Next thing she knew, she was asleep against her father.

After rambling on for some time, Richard finally realised that his daughter had fallen asleep. He smiled to himself remembering the last time she had fallen asleep at one of these gatherings as a child. While Lydia was practically a woman, he could still see his little girl when he looked at her. Richard smiled and gently kissed the top of his daughter's head. But the fact of the matter was, that she needed a husband, someone to take care of her, and he planned on taking her to York City in order to resolve that very matter.

* * *

 **Author's note: Sorry it's been awhile, friends. Real life has gotten very hectic. But thank you for continuing on this journey with me. This one is a little longer for y'all and two flashbacks to hopefully make up for some of the lack of posting. I'm hoping to be able to post again sooner, but now that I say that...haha. Thank you to nixdragon for beta-ing and for really helping me push through things to get this written. Love you! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed.**

 **Normally, this is where I respond to reviews, but I want to get this out soon for y'all and it's been so long since I updated. So to my reviewers, I will respond to the reviews next chapter and I super enjoy getting them. They really make my day! Love ya!**

 **(If you wanna hear what I envisioned Lyddie sounding like when she sings (she sounds like me) I recorded the song and it's on my Tumblr. missjanuarylily)**


	6. I Forgot to Remember to Forget

**Chapter 6: I Forgot to Remember to Forget**

* * *

Lydia sat inside the coach alone. Although for that she was rather thankful because she did not have to sit ladylike. Nor was she forced to converse with anyone. Instead, she sat with her feet up on the seat across from her with a book in hand. She was headed to York City with her father and brother. Her father brought Abe along for a seller's trip, to sell off his hogs to the commissary He was giving Abe a chance to take over some of the family business but Lydia was not sure why she was asked to go along.

It was very rare that Lydia was asked to accompany her father to York City. She usually stayed home and tended to Whitehall while he was gone. It was also these days that she usually found herself visiting Anna or the Tallmadges, at least the last couple years because her father did not approve of interactions with them. But this time, her father was very insistent that she accompany him and he didn't give her any explanation as to why, which frustrated her.

They were nearly to Oyster Bay when Lydia felt her eyes beginning to grow heavy. Traveling made one grow weary, especially on long excursions. Normally, she would force herself to stay awake, but the conversation from the front of the coach wasn't very interesting and she didn't feel like reading. So, instead of fighting the sleep, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She was soon fast asleep.

* * *

 _~*~ April 1775 ~*~_

 _Nervously, Lydia Woodhull sat on a boat wringing her hands beside Anna Strong and her new husband Selah. When Anna had suggested that Lydia accompany the new couple to Connecticut, Lydia had originally found the idea daft. But when Anna made it known that Selah intended on paying Benjamin Tallmadge a visit, Lydia knew it was an offer she could not refuse. Especially not when their trip coincided with Richard Woodhull's monthly trip to York City. It seemed providence that Lydia should accompany them for a short time._

 _Although, had it not been for the opportunity to see Ben, Lydia never would have agreed to accompany the couple on their wedding tour. Especially since it was Selah Strong, Anna had married and not Abraham. Not that Anna had a choice in the matter when Abraham broke off their engagement in order to marry Thomas' intended. While Lydia never breathed a word to a soul about the matter, the fact that Abraham hadn't been able to marry for love had crushed her spirit because the fear that the same fate would be hers became more of a reality._

 _With a sigh, Lydia glanced down at the water and looked at her reflection. Her insides churned. She was nervous how Ben would react to seeing her. She hadn't notified him that she was coming along. But honestly, more than that, she was beginning to doubt that he ever would marry her, which worried her more than anything. While she was only seventeen, eighteen come late fall, it seemed like an eternity that she and Ben had been at this waiting game. Perhaps marriage wasn't something he desired any longer and if that was the truth, she needed to hear it._

 _These kinds of things happened, just look at Anna and Abe, their engagement was broken and both married to other people. She had never considered such a fate would befall her and Ben, but perhaps it would and all her pining would be for naught. And there was only one way to discover if her doubts were well-placed, she needed to speak about the situation with Ben, in person. A conversation that she deemed absolutely necessary, but the prospect of her worst fears being_ realised _, terrified her._

 _Lydia must have been lost in thought for some time because Anna leaned over and whispered, "You've been rather quiet." Lydia blushed as she nodded her head, hoping that Anna wouldn't expect an explanation of her thoughts. But Anna simply said, "Ben will be glad to see you." She smiled and gently nudged Lydia until she smiled back. Lydia's smile satisfied Anna, who then turned back toward her husband. Lydia sighed. Aside from the inevitable conversation she had planned with him, Lydia too would be glad to see him. She missed him terribly and wished for a day that they weren't parted. Although, she had her doubts that day would actually come._

 _When they finally arrived in New Haven, Selah helped both Anna and Lydia off the boat and onto the dock before arranging for their luggage to be brought to the boardinghouse where they'd be staying. As they began their walk to the boardinghouse, Lydia took in her surroundings. This wasn't her first time in New Haven, having come to New Haven on occasion while Ben attended Yale, but she enjoyed taking in the changes. Unlike sleepy Setauket where it seemed like nothing ever changed, New Haven was different and she liked that. In fact, she rather liked Connecticut and wouldn't mind living there if she were married to a certain schoolmaster, now residing in Connecticut. If and only if._

 _She smiled at the thought of Ben as a schoolteacher. From his letters, Lydia knew his students liked him, but she didn't find that hard to believe. In fact, she was quite certain that she had been Ben's first student. Again, she smiled. Thoughts of Ben always did that to her...at least, when they didn't involve thoughts of marriage. Marriage. That made her frown. Lydia's smile faded._

 _Anna noticed Lydia's change in facial expression and looped her arm through Lydia's. "You'll see him soon," Anna said before chuckling to herself. Anna was probably Lydia's closest female friend and knew her better than most, aside from Ben. It was moments like this that made Lydia's headache knowing that Anna would never be kin as they had envisioned for years._

 _Lydia glanced over at Selah, who stood tall as he walked. He glanced at his wife and then looked straight ahead once more. "Why aren't you strolling with your husband?" Lydia asked Anna._

" _There'll be plenty of time for that once I lose you to Ben," Anna responded. Lydia rolled her eyes. But Anna scoffed, "What? It's true. You'll have eyes only for him."_

 _"I will not," Lydia countered, knowing that Anna's words were true._

 _Anna laughed. "Lyddie, I don't expect any differently. I didn't bring you to chaperone my wedding tour. I brought you so that you could see Ben. I know how much you miss him. And who knows, perhaps you'll finally get that engagement we've all been waiting for."_

 _Lydia said nothing. She blushed simply patted Anna's arm, trying to convey the words she couldn't bring herself to say: I hope so._

 _When they finally reached the boardinghouse, Lydia was glad to have some time to herself when they checked into their rooms. Some time to freshen up and hopefully dispel her mood. These days, it seemed that whenever her thoughts turned to marriage, she became rather ornery. It was hard for her to see both Abe and Anna_ marry _. She had been with Ben longer than either of them had been with their respective spouses and she couldn't help but be jealous. She wanted what they had, but with Ben in Connecticut and her father still quite disapproving of him, sometimes it seemed like she may never be happy._

 _Lydia changed out of her traveling clothes and freshened up before she changed into a green silk gown that she knew Ben liked on her. He had said so that last time he had seen her in it which seemed so long ago. Then she began fussing with her hair. While Lydia normally was not a vain person, today was an exception, not that she necessarily needed to do so to impress him. Ben had certainly seen her at her worst and he hadn't cared, but yet she still wanted to look nice for him. Perhaps to remind him of what he was missing in Setauket. Lydia groaned. She hated when she got like this-when she was this insecure._

 _When she finally found appearance tolerable, Lydia alternated between pacing the room, collapsing on the bed, and watching the world outside her window. Nothing seemed to keep her mind off things for long._

 _Eventually, a_ knock _came at the door. "Come in," Lydia called, hoping that whoever was outside that door would save her from herself. She was certainly allowing her thoughts to get the better of her._

 _The door opened and Anna walked_ inside _the room. "Ben's just arrived," Anna said lightly, trying to keep her composure, but the grin on her face giving her away. "Selah's talking to him outside. What do you say we go surprise him?" Anna stood there with her hands on her hips and mischievous look in her eyes. It was clear that Anna was almost as invested in Lydia's relationship with Ben as much as Lydia._

 _Lydia nodded her head and smiled before she smoothed out her petticoats. Anna reached over and tugged Lydia's arm, dragging her into the hallway. Lydia gave a slight squeal before following Anna down the hall. Once Lydia had composed herself, the two women slowly descended the stairs. They then walked outside onto the porch and stopped for a moment._

 _Immediately, Lydia spotted Ben. For a moment, her heart seemed to stop before it began to race and a soft smile emerged. She could spot him anywhere. Ben and Selah were conversing and Ben's back was to them, he couldn't see them. Anna glanced at Lydia knowingly. "Let's have a bit of fun, shall we? Stay here for a moment." Lydia nodded her head. Ben wasn't the only one with a playful streak. Anna smirked before she walked away, joining her husband and Ben._

 _Lydia stayed back, watching the scene in front of her, unable to hear what was being spoken. She clutched her cloak, watching as Ben eagerly greeted Anna. She hoped Ben would be as eager to see her. Lydia took a few steps closer to their conversation. Hearing Ben's voice made her heart race again and her knees weaken, so she leaned against the porch railing and continued to listen._

 _Ben offered Anna and Selah his congratulations on their marriage before engaging in niceties. How was their trip across the sound? How long were they planning on staying in New Haven? Where else did they intend on visiting? But Lydia just stood there and waited patiently. Although, she was somewhat surprised Ben didn't catch on with all the looks Anna kept directing her way. Even Selah seemed to have a hard time, occasionally glancing at Lydia. But Ben took no notice._

 _It came to the point that Anna could not keep the ruse up any longer. She burst into a_ fit _of giggles, which caused Ben to stand up straighter and look at Selah in confusion. Selah simply smiled, restraining his laughter. "Is it something I said?" Ben asked with a furrowed brow._

 _Selah brought his hand to cover his mouth and Anna shook her head. "We brought you something," Anna said, trying to regain her composure._

 _Ben cocked his head._

 _"Turn," Anna instructed, gesturing with her arms._

 _Ben slowly turned his head, looking over his shoulder with a quizzical expression on his face. When he spotted Lydia, his face remained quizzical for a moment as he muttered her name before his expression changed. A grin that practically went from ear to ear overtook his quizzical expression as he sprinted toward her. He bounded up the stairs, skipping two of_ them, _before he finally reached Lydia. Without a word to her, he picked her up by the waist and spun her around. Laughter escaped from her lips as he spun her. When he finally set her down, Ben tugged her cap over her face, like he had quite often when they were children._

 _"Benj," Lydia groaned, pulling her cap to its proper place which made him laugh. He then_ boldly _pressed a kiss_ against _her cheek. With a smile on her face, Lydia closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips against her cheek, his stubble gently poking her smooth cheek. After inhaling his familiar scent, she sighed. Sometimes she wondered if Ben knew just how he affected her. If he knew that her heart was completely his._

 _Feeling Ben's face_ pull _away, Lydia's eyes fluttered open. She found him smiling at her, a glint in his eye. He looked over his shoulder before he quickly pecked her lips. Lydia gasped his name which made him grin. There were times when people thought Ben too serious, but she knew better. She knew just how mischievous he could be. But then his expression changed. Ben cleared his throat and looked at her rather seriously. "What are you doing here, Lyddie?" he asked. There was something in his tone, she could not quite read._

 _"Anna said Selah wished to see you on their trip to Connecticut and thought it might be good for me to come along. That it would be good for us to have a chance to see each other. Are-are you disappointed?" Lydia responded, her voice hesitant._

 _Ben's head jerked back a bit. His expression looked momentarily confused before he shook his head and rested his hands on Lydia's arms. "To see you? Never. But your father…"_

 _Lydia nodded her head and breathed a sigh of relief. "My father left for York City about an hour before we boarded our boat to cross the sound. He doesn't know I'm here."_

 _"Ah." Ben didn't seem completely satisfied with her answer, but he didn't press the issue any further because Selah interrupted them, distracting them from their present conversation._

 _"Tallmadge, you're welcome!" Selah shouted with a smile on his face and his arm protectively wrapped around Anna's waist._

 _Ben turned toward Selah and grinned. Lydia responded with a blush, trying to avoid the knowing grin Anna was giving them. Ben then offered Lydia his arm. "I suppose we ought to go rejoin them," Ben told her. Lydia softly smiled before she placed her hand on Ben's arm so they could join Selah and Anna._

 _Walking at Ben's side seemed so natural. Lydia couldn't help but watch Ben's face as they drew closer toward Selah and Anna. He looked happy, healthy, and of_ course _he looked handsome. Ben always looked handsome. She couldn't remember a time when she didn't think Ben handsome. Ben must have noticed her watching_ him, _because he turned his head toward her and looked at her quizzically. "What?" he asked._

 _Lydia blushed. "You-you look well. I haven't gotten to look at you for some time and…"_

 _But before she could finish, Ben leaned over and whispered in her ear. "There'll be plenty of time for that when we're without our present company."_

 _"Benjamin," Lydia gasped which made him throw his head back and laugh with boyish mirth. Despite the fact that she wanted to join in his laughter, Lydia bit her bottom lip to hold back her laughter and she nudged Ben in the rib with her elbow. But that only seemed to make him laugh more. When they finally reached Anna and Selah, they looked rather amused at the sight of Lydia and Ben._

 _"You two," Anna said shaking her head with her hands resting on her hips, much like a disapproving mother, but her expression said otherwise._

 _Lydia sighed and looked up at Ben, who seemed to be enjoying the situation. His smile was infectious and caused a smile to spread across her face. She rubbed her face against his sleeve, trying to hide her smile._

 _Selah's brow furrowed. "Did I miss something?" he asked Anna._

 _Anna chuckled to herself. "You're always missing out on something when it comes to these two," she responded to her husband. "They've always been like that. A bit annoying, really."_

 _Lydia and Ben glanced at each other and shook their heads. Selah just nodded his head and pulled his wife a little closer. He then said, "How about dinner? I don't know about you, but I'm famished."_

 _Ben eagerly agreed. He too was quite hungry having made the journey from Weathersfield to New Haven. Lydia and Anna exchanged glances, knowing that neither of them really had a say in the matter. So two couples ventured_ into _the boarding house for dinner._

 _As they made their way through the dining room, Lydia's face flushed as she felt Ben's hand on her back guiding her toward the table. Once at the table he pulled her chair out for her. She had craved his undivided attention for so long. And now, for a moment, it almost felt as if they were married. Almost. But they weren't and it seemed like they never would be. It seemed like Ben was more than content to keep things as they were, but she wasn't sure that was enough for her._

 _After dinner, with Selah and Anna, Ben and Lyddie went for a walk. Their dinner had been a rather joyous affair and certainly not the time for Lydia to bring up her doubts to Ben. No, she wished to do that when they were alone...or at least as alone as they'd get. It seemed that since they'd arrived at New Haven, Selah had taken-up the role of watching over her and insisted that he and Anna also go out for a walk, but a distance behind Ben and Lydia so the couple could have some sense of privacy. It was strange seeing Selah so protective_ over _her. She hadn't grown up knowing Selah very well and it was odd that he should know of her relationship with Ben, while her own brother and father did not. And yet, she trusted him._

Lydia rested her head against Ben's arm she was holding onto. Ben looked down at Lydia. It was odd for her to be this silent. Especially after having gone so long since they had last seen each other. So, he told _her as much. "You're quiet," Ben said._

 _She sighed and looked up at him. "Lost in my thoughts, I suppose," Lydia offered. That was the second time that day someone had pointed that out. But at least it was the truth._

 _Ben nodded his head and walked along in silence for a_ moment _like he was trying to think of a way to engage Lydia in more conversation. He didn't know her to be this quiet, especially after they had been parted for so long. Ben turned toward her and said, "I know how much you enjoy walking. How about a jaunt to visit my alma mater?"_

 _Lydia simply nodded her head._

 _So, Ben nodded his head once more. He had been hoping that she would say something more. But instead, they just walked toward Yale. After quite some distance, Ben looked over his shoulder. He then nudged Lydia. She glanced up at him with a furrowed brow, but his eyes had that glint. Ben nodded his head back toward Selah and Anna. "How long do you think they will continue to follow us?"_

 _Lydia glanced back and with her free_ hand _, she waved back at Selah and Anna before she turned toward Ben. "I think it depends who is more stubborn. If Selah gets his way, he'll never leave us. He's under the impression that we need a chaperone. But if Anna gets her way I don't believe they'll follow us much longer."_

 _Ben chuckled. "And whom do you believe is more stubborn?"_

 _"Anna," Lydia answered almost immediately which made Ben laugh. Although, she didn't explain that it was because Selah and Anna were newlyweds and that at this point, Selah would do anything for Anna. Instead, she just continued to walk with Ben, falling back into their quiet rhythm._

 _Anna must have convinced Selah to leave them_ alone _because the next time Ben and Lydia glanced back, the Strongs were no longer walking behind them. "I promise to get you to the boarding house at a decent hour," Ben said with a smirk on his face. Normally, Lydia would have chuckled, but she couldn't even manage herself to force one. Ben could tell that something wasn't quite right, but he didn't push it. Instead, he just continued to walk with Lydia as they finally approached his alma mater._

 _Ben led her to a tree and looked up at that tree fondly. "Nathan and I would occasionally study beneath this tree," he said wistfully. Ben then glanced at Lydia and smiled. "Although, I must confess I'm being far too liberal with the word study."_

 _"How is Nathan?" Lydia asked, folding her arms across her chest, clutching her cloak a little tighter. She had met Nathan on several occasions. He was Ben's closest friend and roommate while he attended Yale and Lydia knew they were still in close contact._

 _Ben leaned against the tree. "Well, he's doing well. Seems to be enjoying his work in New London."_

 _"Is it New London or his lady pupils he's enjoying?" Lydia asked pointedly. Ben had informed her_ though _their correspondence that Nathan Hale's school had an arrangement for him to teach twenty young ladies in the earlier hours of the morning._

 _Ben smiled down at her knowingly. "Both." To her surprise, Ben approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her midsection and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I must confess that you're still my_ favourite _student." He nuzzled his face_ against _her neck._

 _"Can't say that you were my_ favourite _teacher," Lydia teased him. Ben quickly jerked back and looked at her with his head cocked. She allowed a small chuckle to escape her lips before she explained. "Your mother."_

 _"Ah," Ben nodded his head and rested his chin_ on _her shoulder again. He sighed. "I miss her. I think of her quite often." Ben was fourteen when his mother had passed away and gained her heavenly crown. Sometimes no matter how much time had passed, some things never truly left._

 _Lydia nodded her head, she too missed Ben's mother. But suddenly, she could feel her heart beginning to race and not because of Ben. Well, not for the reason Ben usually caused her heart to race. No, this was probably the best way to broach the subject she had been avoiding thus far. She shifted uncomfortably. "What do you think your mother would think of us?"_

 _"I don't have to think-I know she'd be pleased. She always wanted one of her boys to marry you…"_

 _"About that…" Lydia quickly released a puff of air before she turned on her heel to face Ben. She steadied herself by pressing her hands against his chest. She glanced up at him. It was now or never. "Why are we not married?"_

 _"What?" Ben asked. His brow furrowed, unsure if he had heard her properly._

 _Lydia chewed her lip for a moment. She glanced down at the ground and nervously shifted her stance before she repeated. "Married. Why are we not married?"_

 _Ben pulled back, nearly knocking Lydia off her feet. Thankfully, the tree was there to catch her from falling too far. Ben stood there, staring at her with his head cocked. Confusion evident in his expression. "Come now, you must know."_

 _"Know what, Benjamin? What I do know is that we've been at this for years and we have talked about it, but yet you've never proposed marriage and you keep signing on at Weathersfield. Do you no longer have an_ intention _of marrying me?"_

 _Ben stood there rather dumbfounded. He blinked several times and parted his lips to speak, but closed them to "Do you truly think that I do not wish to marry you?" There was a hint of anger in his_ voice _like he couldn't believe she was asking such a thing._

 _Lydia's opened her mouth to speak, but her voice faltered. She glanced down at the earth beneath her feet, not wanting him to see the tears that threatened to spill. But Ben reached a finger beneath her chin and gently pushed her head up so that he could see her face. His lips pursed when he noticed tears begin to fall from Lydia's eyes. Lydia's lips quivered as she Ben forced her to make eye contact with him._

 _"Lyddie, there is nothing I wish for, or pray for, more than to marry you." His expression softened and his anger subsided. He could easily see Lydia's pain and wished to take it from her, not cause her more._

 _"Then why aren't we married, Benj?" Lydia sobbed, knowing she sounded childish, but she couldn't find any other way to convey her emotions at the present. She took a deep breath to try and calm herself. "I-I've tried to not dwell on the past, but…"_

 _"But what?"_

 _Lydia glanced away. "Seeing Selah and Anna married and Abe and Mary, I can't help but think that we should have been married by now. I-I thought that we would have been married upon your graduation from Yale. But we were not. I-I just cannot help but wonder if our turn will ever come."_

 _Ben sighed, processing Lydia's words. He often had the same thoughts himself, but hearing Lydia give a voice to them almost made them worse. He opened his mouth to_ speak _but quickly shut it, pondering what to tell her. While Ben trusted Lydia with everything, there were things he hadn't told her. Things he couldn't find a way to convey to her._

 _He sighed. "Your father."_

 _Lydia's brow furrowed. "What?"_

 _"You don't say it, but you wish for his approval, Lyddie. And I want to give that to you. I don't want to force you to elope. I don't want to tear you away from him. I know how much you love him, despite how much he frustrates you.I- I've been teaching to earn enough money to prove to him that I am capable of taking care of you and providing for you. But that doesn't seem to be enough."_

 _Ben turned his face away from her, but she gently pushed his face so that she could see the pain on his face. Here she had been so selfish in the_ matter, _when Ben was feeling the same way. She should have known better, but she let her doubts get the better of her. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Ben brushed her tears away. Even_ through _his pain, he was still there to care for hers._

 _"I-I'm sorry for doubting you, Benj," Lydia_ apologised _. She then stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss_ against _his cheek._

 _"You missed," Ben whispered._

 _Lydia leaned back and looked at him in confusion. "I what?"_

 _Ben gave a throaty chuckle. "You missed." He then leaned down and captured her lips with his. Lydia practically melted against him. There was something different about this kiss. It was more heated...more desperate...more everything. And Lydia thoroughly enjoyed it and kissed him back just as eagerly. She knew this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with...even if her father didn't approve. Although, she certainly hoped that he could be won over._

 _After several heated kisses, they pulled away. Both of their faces flushed. Lydia looked at Ben with a coy smile on her face as her fingers brushed against her lips. Ben grinned like a schoolboy. He then pulled her close again and rested his forehead on hers, gazing directly into her eyes. "I do love you, Lydia Woodhull," he whispered._

 _Lydia closed her eyes. "I know that," she whispered back before she opened her eyes. She pressed her hand_ to _his cheek. "I love you too, Benjamin Tallmadge. But what can we do about changing Woodhull to Tallmadge?"_

 _Ben smiled softly. "Lydia Tallmadge. I rather like that."_

 _"I do too but.." Lydia shook her head. "Benj, I'm being serious."_

 _"As am I." He grinned for a moment before nodding his head in acknowledgement. "I've been thinking about our predicament. I already gave my word to Weathersfield about next school year, but after_ that _, I was thinking about taking up the law."_

 _"The law?"_

 _Ben nodded his head. "It's always fascinated me and since Abraham is set against following in your father's footsteps, then perhaps…"_

 _Lydia smiled. "Then perhaps, he'd allow you to follow in his footsteps."_

 _"And then perhaps, he'd allow me to marry his daughter." Ben smiled hopefully as he gently tapped Lydia's nose._

 _Lydia smiled. If Richard Woodhull actually got to know Benjamin then maybe, just maybe, he might come to approve of him for his only daughter. Then this plan might actually work. But quickly Lydia found her elation crashing down. Their entire plan hinged on her father, who was a lot of things, including stubborn and set in his ways. "But, but what if my father…" she began._

 _"Doesn't relent?" Ben asked._

 _Lydia nodded her head._

 _Ben sighed he took Lydia's hands in his. "Then, either we part ways or we take matters into our own hands."_

 _"When?"_

 _Ben remained silent for a moment. He glanced down at their joined hands and swung them back and forth a few times. Then, looking back at Lydia, he chewed his bottom lip. "I don't know."_

 _Lydia released Ben's hands and rested hers on her hips. She stood a little taller, sometimes Ben just needed to be told. "You have until my nineteenth birthday, Benjamin. After that…"_

 _He cocked his head. "After that?" he asked._

 _She stood there silently for a moment, processing where her heart was guiding her head. She took a deep breath before she rested both her hands on his cheeks. They made eye contact and Lydia held it for a time before she said, "I know you said there were two options, but there is really only one for us. We_ elope _unless we find just cause for it before."_

 _Ben rubbed his face anxiously. "Lyddie-I-I-"_

 _"I wish to be your wife, Benjamin. Yours and yours alone. Do you wish to be my husband?"_

 _He shook his head. He wasn't angry, but he knew she knew. So he told her as much. "You know I do."_

 _Lydia nodded her head. "Then it's settled."_

 _Ben chuckled and nodded his head in agreement. Lydia was certainly every bit as stubborn as her father, but he loved that about her...most of the time. Ben was surprised to find Lydia grinning at him. "What?" he asked hesitantly_ ,

 _For a moment, she glanced down before looking up at him, holding onto the lapels of his coat. "Does this mean we're engaged...albeit secretly?" she asked._

 _He opened his mouth to speak, but then quickly shut it. Ben cocked his head like a beagle. Had Lydia just orchestrated their official secret engagement? He chuckled and shook his head before he responded, "I already thought we were." His eyes were teasing and Lydia shook her head before she gently pushed at his chest. Ben laughed. He then offered his arm to his secret fiancee. She accepted and the couple strolled back to the boarding house with a certain understanding._

~*~End Flashback~*~

* * *

Lydia was awakened from her nap by Abraham entering the coach. She quickly withdrew her legs and sat upright in a more ladylike position. Abe nodded his head at her as he took the seat across from her in the coach. "Sleep well?" Abe asked.

She nodded her head, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "How are things up front?"

"Fine. Just fine."

Lydia opened her mouth to speak, but Abraham put a lone finger against his lips signaling her to be quiet. Abe then pointed toward the front of the coach-their father. Lydia's brow furrowed. What could he possibly want to discuss with their father so close, yet not what him to know? She nodded her head in agreement. He then thrust a letter into her hands. Lydia opened the letter to find that it was the one she had received from Ben the night of the bonfire. Her eyes widened and her heart began to race. She had wondered what had happened to the letter. Had anyone else seen the letter?

But Abraham almost immediately seemed to silence her fears. "I was behind you when it fell to the ground and picked it up. You must have missed your pocket which is no surprise given the number of petticoats you wear over your pockets."

Ignoring Abe's fashion critique, Lydia furrowed her brow and asked. "Did you read it?"

While she already suspected that he had, she hoped he had not. The contents of the letter were between Benj and her...not Abe. She reached through the slit of her petticoats to find her pocket. Lydia slipped Ben's letter in her pocket which also contained the small leather pouch she had taken from beneath the floorboard in her bedroom. She needed to keep it safe.

Abe nodded his head, acknowledging that he had, in fact, read her letter. Lydia groaned to which Abe responded, "You need to be more careful. Although, I suspect that will be one of your last correspondence with Tallmadge."

Lydia cocked her head and looked at her brother quizzically. "What?"

"You need to forget about Ben Tallmadge," Abraham whispered. "It's never going to happen. The sooner you accept that the better."

Lydia sat there too stunned to speak. It had been a few days since she had spoken with her brother, but she was confused to see this side of him. Last she knew, Abe was keen to spy for Ben, but it something had suddenly changed his mind. "Ex-excuse me?" Lydia whispered, hoping that perhaps she hadn't heard him right.

"You heard me, Lydia. We're done with Ben Tallmadge-me and you. Captain Simcoe wasn't killed in the ambush in Connecticut."

"What does that have to do with…"

"It's too dangerous, Lydia. With the war coming so close to Setauket, Father agrees and he's decided that we're not leaving York City until he's secured you an engagement. So there's no use frittering away your time pining after Ben because you'll soon be engaged."

Lydia wanted to scream. She wanted to kick. Something. But instead, she sat as still, not allowing her brother to read her emotions despite the turmoil that raged within her. Her hand slipped inside her pocket and tightly clutched the leather pouch. This was not how things were supposed to go and there was no one to jump in to save her. The only one she could rely on at this point was herself and it looked like she was somehow going to have to muddle through.

* * *

 **Author's Note: So, we got a bit more Lydia and Ben. haha. Sorry it's been so long. Life. Ugh. Sometimes, it sucks. Thank you to everyone who has stuck by this story. It means a lot to me. :) There was a bit more to Lydia's trip to see Ben, but it didn't fit with the flow of where the chapter was going. Hopefully, I'll be able to squeeze it in at some point because it is important to who Lydia is as a person. Also, I would just like to say ahead of next chapter, some trust will be needed. But never fear, nixdragon and Renny Autumn, my faithful betas know where I'm going! haha. Thanks again for all the support with Lyddie. Like I said, it means the world to me. Thanks to all who have read/favorited/followed/reviewed! Much love! :)**


	7. Proposals

**Chapter 7: Proposals**

This chapter is dedicated to tallmadgerose, who managed to get me out of my writer's block with her review.:)

* * *

 _~*~ Summer 1770~*~_

 _Tap._

 _Tap._

 _Tap._

 _Twelve, nearly thirteen-year-old, Lydia Woodhull set the book she had been reading down on her desk by candlelight. She glanced at her door and listened, to make sure she didn't hear the sound of footsteps coming toward her room._

 _Tap._

 _Another pebble pelted against her window. Excitedly, Lydia practically jumped from the chair she was seated on. She quickly walked across the floor in her stockinged feet and pushed the window open. The moon was in the sky, the stars twinkled overhead, and a cool evening breeze blew. It was the perfect evening._

" _One of these days you're going to break that window, Benjamin Tallmadge," Lydia said without even looking down to see if it actually was him. She knew that it was him. He was only the one that ever knocked on her window. Lydia glanced down to find him grinning at her, which made her smile. Ben motioned for her to climb down. She glanced toward her door once more and listened carefully. There were no noises. Her father was not coming, something she always fretted about. With a great sense of relief, Lydia whispered, "Just a moment, Benj."_

 _By this point, she had been corresponding with Ben Tallmadge for nearly a year now. Lydia enjoyed his letters, hearing of his misadventures at Yale. His correspondence was regular too. He responded to her letters promptly and it seemed like she was the one who took forever to respond. But Ben never said anything about the matter. And since he had been back in Setauket, Ben always managed to seem to make time for her. In the day, he often spent his time with Caleb and Abe; but he came calling quite often in the evening._

 _Lyda struggled to get her shoes on. If she would have known that Ben wanted to see her this evening, she never would have taken them off. The wretched things were a pain to get on. When she finally had them on her feet, she pulled her cloak off its peg and then walked to her open window. She carefully swung her legs over the window ledge before she climbed down the trellis. Ben reached up to help her down and she allowed him to assist her. He quickly took her hand and helped her reach the ground safely._

" _What took you?" Ben asked, still holding her hand._

" _My shoes," Lydia frowned. "I didn't know you were coming."_

 _This time, it was Ben who frowned. "I placed a black-eyed Susan on your porch." That was their signal when he wished to meet with her in the evening. He would place a black-eyed Susan on her front porch._

" _Let's go have a look then." Still holding onto Ben's hand, Lydia dragged him along with her as she quietly made her way around to the front of the house. Ben showed her where he had placed the flower, but it was not there nor had it fallen to the ground. "Perhaps Aberdeen swept the porch after you placed it."_

 _Ben shook his head. "I made certain she swept before."_

 _Lydia sighed. "Well, either we can continue looking for it or we can do otherwise."_

 _Without even taking a moment to mull things over, he whispered, "Otherwise." Ben then tugged her along behind him as they ran away from Whitehall. Lydia felt exhilarated as the cool night air stung her cheeks. She couldn't help but smile._

 _They were almost to the trees when Lydia's cap fell off her head. "Benj! My cap!" she shouted. She pulled her hand out of Ben's and ran back to pick up her fallen cap. Ben stopped and watched her in amusement as she plucked the earth from her cap._

" _Does that thing ever stay on?" Ben laughed tugging her cap in front of her face._

 _Lydia groaned. He was always doing that. So, she fixed her cap and stood a little taller, eyeing him, before she responded, "No." She grinned and then took off in a sprint. "Catch me, Benj!"_

 _Ben easily caught up to her, but Lydia knew he would. He grabbed her from behind and swung her around once, causing her to lose her cap once more. Releasing her, he chuckled and picked up her cap. He handed it to her. Lydia accepted the cap, but instead of putting it on, she jumped up and tried to put it on Ben's head. Due to their height difference, she missed._

" _What are you doing?" Ben laughed as he caught her arm._

 _Still, on her tiptoes, Lydia answered, "Since you're always teasing me about my cap, I think you should give it a go."_

 _Ben shook his head as he plucked the cap from Lydia's hand. He placed it on his head. "How do I look?" he asked, sounding far more serious than he actually was. When Lydia started to giggle, he removed the cap and placed it on her head. He then tugged it in front of her face for good measure._

" _Benj," Lydia groaned._

 _They eventually found their way to "their" tree that overlooked the sound. This tree had been "theirs" since Lydia had found Ben there, after his mother had died. She had climbed the tree right after him and stayed there until he finally came out. Whenever someone couldn't find Ben, this was the first place she looked. This was also where they usually came for their nightly visits._

 _The moonlight shone off the gentle water. The place looked so serene, it could take one's breath away. Ben offered his hand to help Lydia down. She held onto his hand as she sat down on the ground. Lydia leaned her back against the tree as Ben took his seat beside her._

" _I want to show you something," Ben said. He pulled something from his coat pocket. It was metal and glinted in the moonlight._

" _What is it?" Lydia asked quizzically._

" _It's a Cardan grille. They're used to encode secret messages in everyday correspondence." Ben then procured a letter from his pocket. "See here, Nathan sent me a letter using it." Ben placed the grille over his letter. Sure enough, words appeared precisely in the holes of the grille to reveal a message. Lydia wasn't quite sure what the message meant, but it must have meant something to Ben and Nathan Hale, his roommate at Yale, because he smiled._

 _Lydia grabbed the grille and examined it, holding it up in front of her and looking out to the sea through the holes. She caught Ben staring at her. She shook her head and went back to looking at the grille, but Ben still would not stop looking at her with a stupid grin on his face. Lydia arched an eyebrow. "What?" she questioned, laying the grille on her lap._

" _I'm going to marry you someday, Lydia Woodhull," Ben said rather confidently._

" _Sure you are," Lydia scoffed, nudging him with her shoulder. That wasn't the first time she had heard that. In fact, the people of Setauket assumed as much. "Meaningless. Meaningless." She waved her hand through the air as she jokingly quoted Ecclesiastes back to him._

 _While Ben knew that Lydia was only teasing him, it still riled him up enough that he jumped to his feet. It was as if a fire had been lit beneath him. "I am. And I will prove it to you."_

 _Lydia curiously watched as Ben dug through the bramble. He grabbed a rock, looked it over in his hand from the light of the moon before he tossed it away. Ben did this several more times until he found the type of rock he was looking for. Then he started pressing the rock against the bark of the tree. Lydia stood and brushed off her petticoats to better watch what he was doing._

 _Ben looked very solemn as he carved a letter B and then a T into the bark. When he was done he turned toward Lydia and held the rock out for her. "Go on," he said._

 _Lydia accepted the rock and began to carve her initials into the tree. It took much more strength than she had anticipated. Ben made it look easy. It took Lydia nearly twice as long as Ben to carve her initials into the tree. The W gave her some trouble, but Ben helped her. He gently placed his hand on hers and added more pressure to finish off the W. He then moved her hand so that they made a + between their initials._

 _When they were done, Lydia leaned backward to admire their work, accidentally leaning into Ben. Lydia quickly apologised and made to move, but Ben's arms held her in place. Her face flushed. For a moment, her thoughts quickly flitted to her mother. A mother she knew very little about, but she did know that her mother was only fourteen when she wed Richard Woodhull. Lydia was a little over a year from being fourteen herself…_

 _Ben cleared his throat, knocking her out of her reverie. "It could use a heart, don't you think?" Lydia said teasingly._

 _Ben rolled his eyes. He reached over her shoulder and carved a heart around their initials. When the heart was finished, he glanced at Lydia to see if she was satisfied. It was a good thing the moon was their only light because Lydia's face was quite flushed when she nodded her head. Ben's hand traced the wood after the W. "Perhaps we should add a T after that W, just for good measure."_

" _Benj!" Lydia gasped as he started to etch into the tree once more. She quickly reached out her arm and tugged at his. "Benj! Someone might see."_

" _Let them," he laughed._

" _Benj!" Lydia tugged at his arm again. Ben laughed and dropped his arm to his side. The faintest trace of the start of the T was etched into the bark._

" _We're going to finish that one day," Ben told her. Lydia smiled softly. "But for now…" he continued. "I should get you home." Ben offered Lydia his arm and she accepted. Together, they walked away trusting that one day they would be back._

* * *

~*~ November 1776~*~

Anger burned within her as Lydia stood on the Brooklyn ferry, overlooking the water. She stood there with her cloak wrapped tightly around her, hoping that perhaps Abraham was wrong, but knowing that he was right about their father. It was so like him to endeavour such a thing and she wanted nothing to do with him. So, Lydia purposely stood a safe distance away from him and Abraham, lest her temper get the better of her. It would hardly be appropriate to make such a scene in public. But it would be even worse to do so on the ferry, for it would leave her no route for escape. Instead, she sat there stewing on Abraham's words, wishing that Ben were there to save her from this fate. But he wasn't and she knew that.

Lydia glanced around the ferry and rolled her eyes. Every passenger aside, from herself, was a man. She could almost feel her father sizing each of the men up as a suitable match for her. Although, from the looks of the men, none of them would likely be deemed worthy. But if her father was intent on securing a match before leaving York City, then he would certainly be lowering his standards considerably. For the last few years, that had been her saving grace, that her father found no man acceptable for her. It had given her time with Ben that she wouldn't have otherwise had, had her father been more intent on her settling down. But everything had changed with the war going on.

Richard Woodhull slowly made his way over to his only daughter, leaving Abraham standing by himself staring out at the water. When he approached her, he gently patted his hand on her shoulder, but Lydia shirked from his touch. She knew it was childish, but she had no other way to show her displeasure. He didn't know that she knew, so Richard looked at Lydia with a confused expression on his face. Lydia said nothing.

"Are you feeling well, Lydia?" Richard asked her.

Lydia stood there with her head held high and again, she said nothing, pretending that she hadn't heard him. Again, quite childish, but perhaps there was a small hope if he saw she was still quite immature, he might change his mind on the matter and find her not yet ready to make a suitable wife.

Richard cleared his throat. "Lydia, I asked if you were feeling well," her father pressed.

Clutching her cloak a little tighter, holding her head a little higher, she answered without looking at him. "I'm well enough, Father." Her response was curt and her tone cold.

Knowing that the journey had been long, Richard chose to ignore her tone. Instead, he fished a rosette out of his pocket and tried to hand it to her. But she continued to stare out at the water. "Give me your hand," he commanded his daughter.

Lydia reluctantly raised her arm and opened her hand in front of her father. He set the rosette on her palm almost gleefully. "This will show our leaning at a glance," he told her.

 _Our_ leaning? She questioned in her head. Her father knew nothing about her leaning. The only one who knew a thing about it was Benj. She had seen firsthand the aftermath of Lexington and Concord with him and the rebel caused had been fanned into a flicker of a flame there. She had tried to comfort a man inflicted with gunshot wounds with the words of the twenty-third Psalm from the good book, only to watch him die in front of her very eyes. That had changed things for her. She understood her father's leanings, but her experience and Benj sided her against him. It was certainly a precarious situation.

Having not grasped her fingers around the rosette, a gust of wind blew if from her hand and into the sea. Richard tried to catch it, but Lydia simply watched it fall into the sea with no expression on her face, her hand still out in front of her. He hissed his daughter's name, but she said nothing. She did nothing. She just stood there with a streak of defiance on her face.

Richard seemed quite baffled by his daughter's behaviour. This wasn't like her. She usually reserved her defiance for matters privately in the confines of their home, not in public and certainly not in front of strangers. He had raised her better than that and her behavior sparked his temper to flare. "What is the meaning of this, Lydia?" he hissed, only for her to hear.

Lydia continued staring out at the water. For a moment, she stubbornly didn't respond. But even when she finally did respond, she did not answer her father's question. "Why did you bring me to York City, Father?"

He shifted his stance and set his jaw. He had not anticipated that question from her...at least, not before they set foot on York City. "I thought it would be nice to bring you and Abraham along...like old times."

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Lydia was angered by his response. It was quite rare that she and Abraham went along with him to York City, especially given how frequently her father made the trip. It also angered her that he was choosing to appeal to her sentimental side rather than tell her the truth. Lydia turned and looked directly at her father. She asked, "Are you not feeling true, Father?"

Those were words she had heard her father utter on several occasions when he knew the person was lying. He should recognise them. And he did.

Richard was taken aback by her use of his words on him. This was not where he had anticipated their conversation to head. He glanced at his daughter, who stood there with her jaw set and her position seemingly firm. If she knew that he was not being true, then she knew his true reason for bringing her to the city. That explained things, but it didn't excuse them. "How do you know?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Lydia refused once again to look at him. She directed her response to the water.

"I asked you a question, Lydia."

She took a deep breath and spoke, but refused to look at her father. "I was suspicious from the onset, Father. You never allow me to accompany you to York City anymore. But it was Abraham who confirmed it."

"I never should have told him," Richard muttered.

"You're right. You should have told _me_." Lydia's eyes narrowed at her father. This was probably the most disobedient she had been with him for some time. She could tolerate most of his misgivings, but she refused to be made a fool especially when it concerned the prospect of marriage. She refused to be one of _those_ girls. That was where she drew the line.

Richard grabbed hold of his daughter's arm and eyed her suspiciously. "Watch your tongue, daughter."

"Or what? You'll marry me off?" Lydia arched an eyebrow at her father before she turned to walk away from him, but the grip on her arm tightened.

Richard leaned in close toward her and whispered in her ear. "This sort of charade is precisely why I am doing this. I see now that a husband is exactly what you need to grow you up. I've tolerated your behavior thus far, but do not expect a husband to do the same."

Lydia narrowed her eyes at her father. "You will no doubt pick one that will make me the most miserable." Her words were meant to sting. If he truly loved her, he wouldn't do this. But she also knew that her father would never accept that sort of logic because he believed the opposite to be true. That because he loved her, he should find her a suitable husband. The only problem was that Lydia had already found the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her father just didn't approve.

Richard found his daughter being insufferable and was about to tell her so, but Abraham interrupted them wanting to discuss something further about the business venture they were to undertake. He released his daughter's arm and walked away with him, leaving Lydia to sulk.

She sat down on a barrel, trying to keep her tears from spilling from her eyes. Abraham glanced her way, while their father's back was to her. He nodded his head at her. So, he had _saved_ her. Lydia's thoughts on her brother were conflicted. One moment, he's all for spying for the Rebels. The next, he's telling her to abandon the notion and anything to do with the love of her life. Then this. Lydia was not sure what to think of Abraham anymore. She wished Ben were here to sort out the matter. But he was not and there was nothing in her power that she could do.

When the ferry made it's landing, Lydia quickly scrambled to be one of the first to disembark. She refused to wait for her father or Abraham to help her off the ferry. No, she wanted nothing to do with either of them right now. She moved to help herself off when a hand extended toward her from the pier. "May I?" a voice asked.

Lydia looked at the stranger. He stood tall dressed in his Royal Army uniform. His hair was pulled back neatly into a braid. He also sported a thinner braid, which she found rather odd, but she said nothing. She vaguely recognised him from the ferry trip but he likely saw the scene she had caused.

Lydia didn't have time to think much on the matter because the passengers behind her wished to disembark. She nodded her head, accepting the man's offer. He took her hand firmly in his and helped her onto the pier.

"Thank you…" Lydia said trailing her words because she was not sure whom to thank.

The man smiled a thin smile and slightly bowed before her, still holding her hand. "Major John Andre at your service."

"Thank you, Major Andre." He released Lydia's hand and stood there tall beside her, waiting with her. It was rather unnerving. Lydia was not quite sure what he could possibly want.

"You are quite welcome, Miss Woodhull."

In confusion, she looked at the man. How did he know who she was? Major Andre must have picked up on this because he chuckled. "Your reputation precedes you."

Lydia wasn't sure whether to be flattered or offended.

But Major Andre continued, "Star of Setauket, Jewel of Long Island, many a name I've heard for you. While they each have a certain ring to them, they hardly do you justice."

She blushed at Andre's attempts to flatter her. She didn't blush because of the man giving her the compliments, but rather the fact that people outside of Long Island had heard of her. "How-how is it you know who I am?"

"I make it my business to know who comes in and out of this city, Miss Woodhull," Major Andre answered before he relaxed his expression to a soft smile. "Not to mention that your father visits York City frequently and I've heard speak of you. I made an intuitive leap that you were his daughter judging from your... _interaction_ back there."

Her already pink face blushed even more. He _had_ witnessed the tense exchange with her father. She cast her eyes downward. She mused that she should apologize for the exchange, but she hadn't the opportunity to do so because it was then that her father and Abraham appeared at her side.

"Major Andre," Richard Woodhull greeted, extending his hand toward the man. It was clear the two had met before. Although, Lydia wasn't sure the exact nature of their relationship.

Major Andre accepted Richard's handshake. "Judge Woodhull," the British officer greeted. "What brings you to York City? I was expecting you at the end of the month, good sir."

"Ah, yes, well, matters at home are increasingly requiring my attention. I thought I'd bring my son Abraham to explain to him our business in the city." Richard released Major Andre's hand. He then looked at Lydia rather scornfully. She knew that he did not want her to create another scene. Major Andre did not seem to miss the look between the father and daughter, but he said nothing on the matter.

"Where are my manners?" Richard chuckled. "Major Andre, this is my son Abraham," he gestured toward his son. Abraham stepped out from behind his father shook the officer's hand. Richard continued. "And this is my daughter, Lydia."

Lydia forced a smile.

"We've already had the pleasure," Major Andre chuckled. Lydia nodded her head and gave a slight curtsy toward Major Andre. The British officer bowed his head before he turned once more to the men. "Perhaps I can escort you through the city," he offered.

"A fine idea," Richard agreed.

Major Andre offered Lydia his arm. Richard glanced at Lydia, his expression telling her to accept...or else face the consequences later. So, she accepted his arm. Lydia gently placed her hand on Major Andre's arm and walked down the cobblestone streets of York City. It was much more different here than in Setauket. The streets were filled with all sorts of people. The place was quite bustling. Lydia thought she could lose herself in the madness had it not been for Major Andre's arm guiding her.

Two immoral women attempted to stop them, offering to show the men a _good time_. They even offered to teach Lydia their ways to please a man. The comment made Lydia blush, clearly uncomfortable with such talk. But Richard simply chuckled and told them _maybe later_ before pushing ahead _._ When they were several feet away, Abraham and Major Andre burst into laughter.

"Maybe later?" Abraham laughed.

Richard chuckled in response.

Lydia glanced backward at the women. She could not help but wonder how those women had ended up in their situations. She then made a silent prayer that she would never be forced into such a situation herself. She just couldn't bear the thought of being reduced to something such as that. Although, she highly doubted most of those women chose their profession and were instead forced into it.

Holding her head a little higher, Lydia faced forward again and turned her thoughts back toward the business of York City. She was not sure that she would ever like to live in York City, but if that was where Benj...She stopped herself from continuing with such thoughts. If her father's plan succeeded, she would be leaving York City an engaged women. Perhaps, even married. Lydia frowned. There had to be a way around all of this.

Shouts of _Judge Woodhull_ echoed through the streets, causing the Woodhulls and Major Andre to come to a halt. Lydia glanced around curiously, trying to find the person shouting for them when her eyes spotted a man donning a red coat waddling toward them. The man smiled at her father but when he spotted her, something about his smile changed. His eyes appeared more lustful. Lydia removed her hand from Andre's arm and pretended to be fuss with her hat to distract herself rather than be forced to watch that man lust after her.

"Magistrate," the man greeted her father, extending his hand. Richard and the man shook hands. "You're a sight for sore eyes and salivating palate." The man paused and glanced at Lydia. "Brought the bacon, have we?" he asked with a sly grin which sent shivers up Lydia's spine.

Richard glanced at Lydia. She could see something in his eyes that hadn't been there before. There was now no doubt in Lydia's mind that her father thought of this man as a potential suitor. He should know that she would never be happy in such a marriage. To this man, she would be nothing but a pair of hips to birth children and a pretty piece to have on his arm when necessary social occasions arose. This man could never love her. Not like Ben did. She wanted to cry. But she continued to uphold her composure.

Her father cleared his throat. "Just my children, Abraham and Lydia."

The man shook Abraham's hand as her father introduced him as Colonel Cooke. Cooke then took a step toward Lydia and took hold of her hand. He bent slightly and kissed her hand. It took everything in her not to show how repulsed she was by this man's action. Lydia made brief eye contact with John Andre, who was still standing there observing. Major Andre pursed his lips and appeared deep in thought as Colonel Cooke stood upright once more.

"Pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Miss Woodhull. Your father talks a great deal about you. To think I thought he was overselling you. That no one could quite possibly be as beautiful as he claimed, but it appears he may have _undersold_ you."

Lydia forced a smile on her face and daintily nodded her head, as every good lady should. Thankfully, before she had to say anything, Major Andre cleared his throat to take his leave. "I'm afraid I best be off," Andre said, his tone rather pleasant.

"Won't you join us for dinner this evening, John?" Colonel Cooke said before turning toward Richard. "John always has the best stories to tell and he's just returned from a trip. Surely, he has something good to share."

Lydia looked at him with pleading eyes. She was not sure why, but she felt she would be more comfortable at dinner if he was present. He would not be the man lusting after her, a father trying to sell her off to the highest bidder, or a brother convinced this was for the best. For some reason, Major Andre brought her a small sense of comfort.

Major Andre smiled slightly. "I have some affairs to put in order, but I shall be there," he told Colonel Cooke.

"Splendid!" Cooke agreed.

Major Andre bowed his head and then took his leave.

Colonel Cooke approached Lydia and offered her his arm with a sly grin on his face. Lydia had the mind to refuse his arm, but before she could say anything, Colonel Cooke grabbed her hand and placed it on his arm for her. Her eyes widened in horror at his bold gesture, but her father just laughed it off. If Ben had ever done the same thing in front of him, he would have gotten angry. But now he was rather jovial. It unnerved her.

Lydia had no opportunity to flee because Colonel Cooke began dragging her along with him down the cobbled street. She made pleading glances to her brother to save her, but after making contact once he kept his gaze cast downward. Just when she thought things were getting better with Abraham, he had to do this. She never understood his indifference toward her. It angered her now.

When they arrived at the place where they would spend the next few nights, Lydia marched straight to her room claiming she needed to freshen up. She would certainly need to do so after she had herself a good cry. She flung herself on the bed and began to sob. It all felt too much for her. She wanted to go home, a home with Benjamin Tallmadge. For years now she could perfectly imagine their home. She could see the curtains fluttering in the breeze, a warm and inviting hearth, and Ben sitting in his study. But if she could not find a way past her father, that life would never be hers.

If only her father wasn't as scheming as the best of them, she might be able to resolve her situation. But Richard Woodhull had the law on his side and even if it wasn't, he could manage to make the law on his side. For years she had been proud of that fact, but now, it would likely be her downfall. Especially if he knew the truth of the matter. There would be no stopping him.

A knock came at the door. Lydia roughly wiped at her cheeks before she walked across the room to open the door. She expected it to be Abraham or her father there to scold her for being childish, but she was surprised to find a dark woman outside her door, holding onto one of her silk gowns. "Your father sent me to help you get ready for dinner, ma'am."

"Ready for dinner?" Lydia asked quizzically.

"Yes'm." The woman held up Lydia's blue silk gown toward her.

Lydia sighed and then allowed the woman to enter her room. When the door was closed, Lydia began to peel off the layers of traveling clothes she was wearing. When she was in nothing but her shift with her pockets strapped around her waist, she glanced at the woman. "Are you employed by Colonel Cooke?" Lydia asked.

"Yes'm," the woman answered as she spread Lydia's things out on the bed.

Lydia exhaled a breath. Apparently, the woman wasn't much in the mood for discussion, but that was fine by her. She reached into her pocket to make sure the leather pouch was secure. When her hand found it, she gave it a pat for good measure before the woman began helping her into the fresh gown. They then moved on to fixing Lydia's hair. The woman then deemed Lydia acceptable for dinner and said that Lydia should join her father, brother, and Colonel Cooke shortly.

She nodded her head and stiffly sat down on the edge of her bed. A quick prayer was said to the Lord that he would somehow deliver her and send her a path that did not lead to marriage with Colonel Cooke. She prayed that Ben be kept safe and that he would one day be able to come for her. Lastly, she prayed that her father would change his heart on the matter, despite knowing it would take a miracle for it to ever happen.

After rising to her feet, Lydia squared her shoulders and walked downstairs where she found the men waiting for her. They all stood at her entrance into the room. Colonel Cooke immediately came to her side to escort her toward the dinner table when Major Andre came through the door.

"John! How good of you to join us!" Colonel Cooke greeted the major, moving toward him to shake hands. Lydia was glad for the reprieve from Cooke's touch. She knew she was probably being too quick to judge the man, perhaps he would make a fine husband to some woman. Just not her.

Lydia took the opportunity to reach for her brother's arm, sending him a _you owe me_ glance. Abraham simply nodded his head. From her brother's arm, Lydia made eye contact with Major Andre. He nodded his head toward her and she returned the gesture. She did not even know the man, but she was glad that he was able to distract Colonel Cooke from more advances.

Once they were seated at the dinner table, Lydia sat across from Major Andre and to the right of Colonel Cooke. While the food was delicious, sitting at the table was almost unbearable. Colonel Cooke, whom she was now told to call Jonathan, _accidentally_ brushed his foot against hers several times and his hand strayed to her knee nearly a dozen times. Each time, she would try to brush his hand away and he would grin at her. It was like he considered this a game of cat and mouse. The harder Lydia tried to refuse him, the more brazen he became and Lydia was fairly certain her father knew what was happening. If Ben was here he would never stand for it.

But Ben wasn't there nor would he come waltzing through the door to save her. There was only one thing she could do.

"I'd like permission to be excused," Lydia said to her father. Her tone was demanding, not seeking permission.

Richard opened his mouth to refuse her, but Lydia had predicted such a move. So she announced, "The journey was quite taxing on my weary body."

Colonel Cooke was the first to respond, clearly trying to win her favour. "If you're quite certain, my dear," he said reaching for Lydia's hand.

Lydia nodded her head.

"Then by all means. You'll need your rest for tomorrow."

 _Tomorrow?_ Lydia's brow furrowed in confusion and before she could question him, her father bid her good night. With a sigh, Lydia stood up and walked to her father. She pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek as she was in the habit of doing before she took her leave. Her thoughts were still focused on Colonel Cooke's words.

Lydia was just about to undress when a knock came at her door. The woman who had helped her dress earlier stood outside her door. "Major Andre would like a word in private, ma'am," she said. "He's in the front hall."

With a sigh, Lydia walked back downstairs to find Major Andre pacing the front hall. She stopped to look at him quizzically. He looked over his shoulder before he motioned for her to follow him. So, Lydia did. She followed him into Colonel Cooke's study.

For a moment, they stood there in silence. Lydia was not sure what to say to this man. He was everything she was against. He stood for a king, whereas Lydia did not. He represented what Lydia resented. And yet, for some reason, there was an odd sense of peace that Lydia could not describe with him. Although, had the man known Lydia's true feelings, things might be different.

Andre closed the gap between them and made an intense eye contact with her. "Have you yet been made aware of tomorrow night's proceedings?" he asked her.

Lydia's brow furrowed. "Excuse me?"

"Precisely as I thought," he sighed. Andre pursed his lips for a moment and contemplated moving forward. But he did. "Colonel Cooke is hosting a dance in your honor tomorrow in hopes of finding you a suitable match, or so he is claiming. He, of course, intends on announcing his engagement to you at the end of the evening. He and your father have it all worked out. From what I have heard, I believe a Christmas wedding has been proposed."

Lydia's face blanched. Her eyes widened in shock. For a moment she could not speak. She could not process Major Andre's words. Her world was crashing down around her, much faster than she had anticipated. "Why-why tell me this?"

"Clearly you are not interested in marrying-let alone marrying him- and you are being forced into an engagement by your father."

"That does not explain why you are telling me this," Lydia said folding her arms stubbornly across her chest.

"This is going to sound insane, but please hear me out, Miss Woodhull. I propose that we announce _our_ engagement at the start of the party."

Lydia choked, looking at him incredulously with her mouth wide open perfectly shaped in an o. "Excuse me?" First, he was telling her that her father planned on forcing her into an engagement with Colonel Cooke and now he was proposing marriage. Was he mad? She looked at him incredulously.

Major Andre held up a hand. "From what I hear, your father simply wants to see you engaged before leaving York City. Colonel Cooke just happened to be the most interested his last few trips."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Does everyone know my father's plans but me?" She shook her head and looked Major Andre in the eyes. "As you so perfectly pointed out, I have no interest in marrying. Why do you think I'd want any part in this?"

Major Andre smiled. "I never said we'd marry. I proposed we announce our engagement. There's a difference. I too have no desire to marry. An engagement would seem to solve both our problems with the world outside. I was thinking we would have a nice long engagement. Perhaps a couple of years. During that time, I suggest we correspond as to not raise suspicions. Should neither of come to have feelings for the other in due time, I will take full responsibility when the engagement breaks."

"A charade? You want me to participate in a charade with you?" Lydia arched an eyebrow. "What's in it for you?"

"Your father has nearly driven me and my men insane with all his talk of you. I would consider it sweet revenge to help his daughter from fully satisfying his wishes. I also have no desire in seeing a woman of your stature forced into a loveless marriage as many are in the practice of doing. Call me a romantic, but I do believe in marrying for love. I am trying to help you."

"And?" Lydia questioned, resting her hands on her hips.

"And?"

"I assume there's something more on my part, should I agree."

Andre clasped his hands behind his back and nodded his head. "And...I'm adjutant of gathering intelligence and in need of a female agent on Long Island."

"A spy?"

"An agent. No one ever need know."

"You have men on Long Island. I see no use for a female _agent_."

"Very well, there may not be a use for one, but there could be. As a citizen of Long Island, you know the people better than my men ever could. You might hear things my men might not otherwise be privy to. You're not the first woman I've drafted into service."

Lydia's brain was swimming. She was not sure what to think. While she did not want to be engaged to Major Andre, she also did not want to be wed at Christmas to Colonel Cooke. Andre's deal almost sounded too good to be true. But there was the detail about the spying. It was odd for a man to entrust such a thing to a woman. But she could not in good conscience pass along information to him. She could not betray Ben like that.

"I need an answer, Miss Woodhull," Major Andre whispered.

Lydia inhaled. She needed to do something to protect herself. She could run away. Although she would never make it very far. She would likely only make it as far as Holy Ground and that was not a path she was interested in pursuing. She could turn down Major Andre's proposal and find herself engaged to Colonel Cooke tomorrow evening and married before the end of the year. That seemed like a path she could never get off. She couldn't hurt Ben like that. Andre was right, his proposal was likely her only option. It was the only thing she could do to buy herself time. Time to figure out what to do next.

Glancing at Andre, she was nearly shaking. This was not how she had imagined things would go, but she had no other choice. This was not what she had expected as an answer to her prayer, but if it was what God was giving her, she better take it. She thought of Ben before she made her decision. "I accept," she barely choked out.

Major Andre nodded his head. "Until tomorrow, then."

With that he turned swiftly on his heel, leaving her standing there in shock. Lydia was not entirely sure what she had gotten herself into. She only hoped that she would be able to explain things to Ben before word of her _engagement_ somehow reached him.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Don't kill me! I am fully aware this is a BenxOC story. Please trust me. I promise that I have a plan. Sorry, it's been so long. Life. Ugh. The next two months are gonna be kinda crazy for me. I'm moving across the country for a new job, so please be patient with me...as you all have already been with me. I truly appreciate it. Much love! Thanks to tallmadgerose for their constant support and to nixdragon and Renny Autumn for beta-ing and fangirling with me.**

 **A big thank you to those who reviewed: tallmadgerose, auntie allyson, RL, ColdandBrokenHallelujah, Keep Calm and Love Mutliple Fandoms, T.K. Roses, Hidden Journey, Guest, Jack O'Hazeldean, thelandofstories, Angel029, Tlgrimm, SarcasticEnigma, xoxo, RHatch, Slow Dancing in the Snow, Ohmicrofilm, nixdragon, and Hoqwaarts.**


	8. Dances

**Chapter 8: Dances**

* * *

 _~*~ 1773~*~_

 _Lydia sat at a vanity in front of the mirror fussing with her hair. She wanted it to be perfect for tonight. She was in New Haven for Ben's graduation from Yale. He had invited her to accompany him to the dance for a night of well-mannered frivolity to celebrate Yale's commencement. Of course, she had been eager to accept but figuring out a way for her father to allow her to travel without him not raising suspicion, had not been easy. Much to her delight, Richard Woodhull had agreed that Lydia could be allowed to visit cousins in Massachusetts unaccompanied._

 _What he did not know, however, was that she planned on spending a few days in New Haven, Connecticut for the festivities. Lydia knew it was wrong to lie and deceive, but she had no other way to go about things, especially things concerning her love, Benjamin. Lydia had given her heart to that boy long ago and she knew she would never get it back. She assuaged her guilt knowing that she eventually would be meeting her family, albeit a few days late. It was the only way. So she simply had sent a letter to her Massachusetts relatives telling them to meet her at a later date than her father thought she was meeting them. As much as she hated to admit it, Lydia was growing fairly skilled in the art of deception._

 _Things had been arranged for Lydia to share a room with Missus Tallmadge while Reverend Tallmadge shared a room with his sons. The Tallmadges were fully aware of Lydia and Ben's predicament and her father's stern disapproval. They, on the other hand, thought the couple to be a good match. But Lydia could not even bring herself to tell them of her deceit against her father. She did not wish to be scolded by Ben's father. Ben was the only one who knew the truth of the matter. He had not chastised her when she told him, so she could only hope that he did not wholly disapprove of her methods. It was all for him after all._

 _Lydia smiled and then pinched her cheeks to give them a rosier appearance. She played with the curls that hung at the side of her head, still smiling. She was glad to be able to spend the evening with Ben. She saw very little of him during his time at Yale, but his letters always kept her pining and yearning. Every time she saw him, she wondered if he might decide to end things with her. That perhaps while at Yale he had found someone else. Someone smarter, prettier, better suited for him... But tonight, she did not have that doubt._

 _Tonight she just looked forward to an evening with him, hoping that maybe he might finally make good on his promise to her and propose marriage. They had talked about it plenty of times, but he had still yet to formally ask. Not that her father would ever allow such a thing. Although, she hoped that he would because it was still years yet before she could marry without the blessing of her father without eloping. While it was generally looked down upon in society, Lydia was not completely adverse to eloping. Not if it meant she could be wed to Benj. But Ben knew she also wanted her father's blessing on their marriage. It was a complicated affair._

 _There came a knock at the door. Slowly, she crossed the room and opened the door to reveal Benj standing there looking quite dapper. Lydia always found him handsome-looking, but she could hardly keep from looking at him. That very thought made her blush and Benj certainly liked making her blush. She cast her gaze to the floor and twirled one of her curls absently. Ben chuckled. He placed his hands on her waist to gently move her so that he could get past her. He pressed a kiss against her blushing cheek as he moved past her and he shut the door behind them._

 _But Lydia managed to get hold of her sense. She stood there with her hands on her hips, staring at Ben. "What are you doing here? You know you are not supposed to be here. What if we are seen?"_

 _Ben just smirked. "I just wanted to see you, Lyddie." He placed his hands on her waist and tugged her a little closer. He kissed her forehead, never removing his hands from her waist._

 _Lydia smiled at the gesture. She had sorely missed him. But when she looked up at him and saw him looking her over and grinning, she shook her head. "And to think people think you are a well-mannered, responsible, proper gentleman."_

" _You know better." Ben chuckled and then slowly leaned in to kiss her properly. "Can't I get just one little…"_

" _Out," Lydia giggled, pushing him away. "I do not want to get caught."_

 _Ben did not look too hurt by her refusal. In fact, he looked even more determined as he fished something from his pocket and swung it in front of Lydia's face. "I suppose you would not want this then, would you?"_

 _Lydia's brow furrowed in confusion as her eyes went back and forth with the object he was swinging. She reached out to snatch it from him, but he quickly clutched the entire object in his hand and brought it to his chest. Ben then gestured for her to have a seat in front of the vanity._

 _Looking up at him, Lydia could not help but smile as she shook her head while complying with his request. She knew he was up to something, but she daintily moved across the room and sat down on the chair in front of the vanity, keeping a careful watch on him from the mirror._

 _Ben crossed the room, stopping behind Lydia. She turned to look up at him, but he shook his head and told her to turn around. She did as he asked. "Close your eyes," he told her._

" _I am not certain I can trust you," Lydia teased him._

" _Lyddie," Ben groaned. "Please?"_

 _She smiled and gently closed her eyes. Ben's hand gently brushed the back of her neck sending shivers up her spine. Then something smooth and cold slipped across her throat. She was tempted to open them as she felt Ben's fingers fumbling against her skin, but she kept them closed._

" _You can open them now," Ben whispered in her ear. She could feel the heat from his breath against her skin which caused her to blush. She knew they were not supposed to be alone like this, but Lydia liked being with Ben in this manner._

 _Lydia's eyes fluttered open and her eyes quickly focused on her reflection in the mirror. There was a white ribbon against her neck with a silver heart pendant dangling from it. A gasp escaped her lips as her hand reached up to touch the pendant._

" _I-I hope you find it suitable," Ben said rather sheepishly. "I-I designed it myself. I-I was not sure if..." his words trailed off._

" _Benj," Lydia sighed before she quickly got to her feet. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. "I love it," she whispered._

 _Her words made Ben's face light up and his heart swelled with pride hearing those words from her lips. Lydia pulled herself onto her toes and gently pressed a kiss against Ben's lips. His hands found their way to her waist as he eagerly kissed her back. As Lydia kissed him again, Ben softly chuckled to himself. Lydia then quickly pulled back and looked at him incredulously._

" _What is it?" Ben laughed as he wiped his lips with one of his hands._

 _Lydia removed her hands from around Ben's neck and placed them on her hips. "You knew I would do that, didn't you?"_

 _Ben just grinned._

" _Benjamin Tallmadge," Lydia hissed._

 _He laughed and reached out to take hold of her once again, but she took a step backward._

 _Lydia pointed toward the door. "Out. And if you do not leave right now, Benjamin Tallmadge you won't be getting any kisses from me tonight." Lydia was not really mad, but she certainly did not want her reputation ruined over this. Should her reputation be ruined, it could ruin any hope of her father blessing a union between them. Richard Woodhull would rather marry her off quickly to someone else than ever allow her to marry Benj, should her reputation be trifled with._

 _Thankfully, Ben didn't appear hurt. Instead, he just nodded and walked toward the door. Lydia chewed her lip as she watched him walk away. She really did not want to end this moment like this. He had been awfully thoughtful to get her the silver heart pendant._

 _Ben's hand reached out to twist the doorknob when Lydia called, "Benj!"_

 _Ben stopped and turned to glance over his shoulder at Lydia who was running toward him in a very unladylike manner, much like she did when they were children. She threw her arms around him and kissed him once more. After only one kiss, Lydia pulled away. "I really do like this," she said clasping the pendant in her hand. "It was very thoughtful of you, Benj."_

 _He smiled, holding onto her so that she would not fall over._

" _I love you and I have missed you terribly, but you need to go before we are caught."_

 _Ben nodded. He quickly pressed one more kiss against her cheek and the disappeared on the other side of the door. Lydia leaned her back against the door and sighed, running her fingers against the gift from Benj. She knew that her heart was completely lost to Benjamin Tallmadge and that there would be no getting it back._

* * *

~*~ November 1776~*~

Lydia nervously paced the bedroom she was occupying. She was wearing a new gown that had been delivered that morning. Her father had seemed to have no idea where the gown had come from, leaving Lydia to conclude that Colonel Cooke had it sent over for her. While the gown was beautiful, with intricate stitching and ornate detail, wearing it made Lydia want to vomit. Colonel Cooke no doubt had bought the gown for whom was assumed was his bride-to-be. Little did he know that she agreed to announce an engagement of sorts with John Andre before he could even attempt a proposal.

The whole thing had happened so fast that Lydia could hardly think straight. She wished she were able to talk with Mary or Anna about the situation. But most of all, she wished Ben were there to clear up matters. She wished Ben were there to put a stop to this whole thing. She wished the war had never started. She wished her father hadn't been so stubborn and refused Ben. Honestly, she just wished she were anywhere but where she actually was.

Tears stung at her eyes as Lydia leaned against the window frame, looking out at York City. This city seemed like her own personal hell. It was the city Ben had left her for, to join Washington's army and now it was the city of her current debacle. If she never saw York City again, it would be all too soon.

Knowing that if she continued pacing, she would likely vomit, Lydia took a seat in front of the small vanity afforded to her in the bedroom. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Dances were normally an occasion she would be thrilled with excitement to prepare for. This one she dreaded and the dread was plainly written on her face. She might have on a pretty gown and her hair might have been styled fashionably, but that did nothing hide her lack of excitement.

A string of pearls lay in an open case on the vanity. Her fingers brushed against them. Lydia knew them to be quite costly and no doubt were yet another gift from the man who intended to be her suitor, but she could not bring herself to take them from the case. Instead, she fished through her many petticoats until she found her pockets. From her left pocket, she retrieved the small leather pouch that contained her most precious keepsakes.

Lydia stared at the small leather pouch in her hand. She knew what she was about to do was highly unorthodox, but if Ben couldn't be with her this evening, she still wanted him to be with her. Opening the pouch, she pulled out the white ribbon and silver heart pendant necklace Benj had given her. Lydia softly smiled to herself, the only smile she had managed all day and it was because she could not help but smile when she thought of Ben.

After the leather pouch was safely back in her pocket, Lydia tied the ribbon on herself. Wearing Ben's necklace was a small act of defiance she could afford. Only she and Ben knew where the necklace had originated. Her father would be none the wiser. Those were Lydia's favourite acts of defiance, the ones her father did not know about.

While she was practicing her false smile for the evening, a knock came at the door. Lydia clutched the heart pendant as she turned to see her brother Abraham walk through the door. She rolled her eyes. After clearly avoiding him all day, he dare approach her now? Clearly, Abe did not understand that she wanted nothing to do with him.

"Lydia, I need to speak with you," Abe said, sounding out of breath.

Lydia stood up and narrowed her eyes at her older brother. "You have nothing I could want to hear, Abraham," Lydia hissed. She was still rather angry with him from the words they had exchanged in the carriage ride to the Brooklyn ferry. He had told her to forget about Ben and to accept her fate as her father's pawn, he had. But she could not do that.

Abe opened his mouth to speak, but Lydia was not willing to listen to him. Not after his part in this mess. She attempted to walk past him, but he took hold of her arm. Lydia sent her brother a scathing expression as she pulled her arm away from him.

"Lyddie, you need to hear this," Abe pleaded. "Last night I-"

"I do not care what you have to say, Abraham. Nothing you say could possibly make this situation any better. So, I do not want to hear it. Now, if you will please excuse me, I must prepare myself for an unwanted engagement which you had a hand in procuring." Lydia sneered at her brother before she stomped from her bedroom rather immaturely. She did not care.

Lifting her petticoats, Lydia ran down the stairs and opened the door for a bit of fresh air. Tears spilled down her cheeks. She did not want to be married off. Not to Colonel Cooke or John Andre. She belonged to Benjamin Tallmadge and he to her, there was no question of that. Lydia wanted to run away. Leave York City and find Benj. Only, she had no idea where he would be and if her father caught up to her while she ventured to find Benj, Richard Woodhull would surely marry her off the moment he found her. That would only complicate matters further for her.

The truth of the matter was, she longed for Ben. When she was with him, she always felt safe, knowing that he would love her and look after her. Unlike her father it seemed, who had ulterior motives. As much as she hated it, she had a part to play tonight. A part that would hopefully keep her father satisfied and her unwed to another until a better solution could be found. While an _engagement to_ John Andre would not completely solve her problems, it would help make them more manageable.

Several soldiers dressed in red coats walked past her. Lydia gave them a small smile, not because she wanted to, but because if she was to perform her role convincingly, she had to start somewhere. The soldiers slyly smiled back. Lydia exhaled a breath she had been holding. By tomorrow morning, they would likely know who she was...or at least who she wanted them to know, because if they knew the truth, she might not make it out of York City unscathed.

* * *

 _~*~Flashback 1773~*~_

 _Lydia waltzed into the ballroom on Ben's arm. Both of them were beaming with smiles. For years, Ben had endured teasing over Lydia, whom most of the other boys thought he was making up. And Nathan had been no help, joining in the teasing, despite having met Lydia. Now, Ben was finally able to show her off for all to see. Lydia was simply elated to be with Ben. She felt rather grown-up on his arm and could not help but hope that this was what it would always feel like with him._

 _Ben nodded to several of his classmates. To him, Lydia was the most beautiful girl in the room and she was on his arm. He was glad the expressions of some of his classmates seemed to agree with him. Ben led Lydia out onto the dance floor and he bowed toward her. "May I have the honor of this dance?"_

 _Lydia smiled. "Who else would I dance with?" she teased him._

" _I might manage to steal Miss Woodhull away," a voice drawled next to them._

 _Recognizing the voice, Lydia looked to her right to see Nathan Hale, Ben's college roommate, standing beside them with a devilish grin on his face. Nathan had fair hair and skin with bright blue eyes. While Lydia's heart belonged to Ben, there was no denying that Nathan was quite handsome. She was sure that there were many-a-lady looking to catch his attention, especially given what Ben wrote in his letters._

" _You can try," Ben said, taking hold of Lydia's hand. "But I fear your attempts will be unsuccessful." Nathan chuckled and smiled at the pair before Ben asked, "You have your own partner, do you not?"_

" _Aye, but I fear she only accepted my invitation as an invitation to search our Yale's fine crop of eligible bachelors." Nathan pointed to a group of ladies in the corner near the refreshment table, looking out at all the gentlemen in the room and talking amongst themselves._

" _Are you not considered one?" Lydia teased._

" _Only one of many, Miss Woodhull," Nathan answered. "Not all of us can be as blessed as you and Tallmadge on their first time out. Some of us must have a few rotten apples before finding the perfect one." Nathan winked at Ben._

 _Ben had ample opportunity to search out a few rotten apples during his time at Yale, but he always made quite clear that there was a girl back home for him. Some New Haven girls tried their hardest anyway, but Ben had never been swayed from Lydia Woodhull. He loved her, for as long as he could remember and he knew that he would love her until his dying day._

" _Might I at least request one dance this evening?" Nathan asked Lydia. "You are quite the talk of the dance this evening and I it would be my pleasure to dance with you."_

 _Lydia looked at Ben and he chuckled. "The decision is yours," he responded as they took their first steps of the dance._

 _She wasn't sure why she needed to ask Ben's permission. He was right, the decision was hers, but she had always been raised by her father to seek permission. Lydia nodded at Ben before she turned toward Nathan. "I might be able to spare a dance or two."_

 _Nathan smiled and bowed before smirking at Ben. "I told you I might manage to steal her way, Tallmadge." Ben laughed. He knew Nathan well enough to know that he had no ill-intentions toward Lydia. Ben knew that Nathan approved of the relationship, not that he needed Nathan's approval. It was Richard Woodhull's he required, but it was nice all the same._

 _The music for a minuet began to start. Nathan pushed Ben, who was holding onto Lydia's hand, into the starting position for the dance, a position for the most prominent man and eminent lady. Nathan then went off to find his dance partner so that he might watch the dance with her._

 _Ben gave Lydia a look asking if she was ready. All eyes were on the couples on the dance floor. Lydia gently nodded her head while butterflies danced in her stomach. While she had hated the hours of dance lessons with Widow Browne, she was certainly grateful for them now. She was also grateful that Widow Browne had seen fit to train Ben as well, upon the insistence of Reverend Tallmadge that a young boy about to enter Yale should know such things. They had danced this dance too many times to count, but she was still nervous._

 _Ben must have noticed her nervousness because he gave her a reassuring smile. "Just imagine Widow Browne will let us go play if we get through this," he whispered._

 _Lydia chuckled. Ben always seemed to know what to say to make her feel better. It was then time to start the dance. Ben and Lydia bowed, as was customary before they took their first steps. It was almost strange to perform the dance without Widow Browne's scolding remarks in the background. But Lydia managed to glide gracefully around the room. Ben tried his best to keep a blank face, but he could not help but smile each time Lydia tried to catch his eye. She in turn blushed and smiled back each time Ben looked at her._

 _The pair were mesmerizing to watch dance. Those who stood on the side watching, only watched Lydia and Ben as they glided across the floor with such grace and ease. Widow Browne's dance lessons had paid off. When the dance finally came to an end, Ben and Lydia bowed and walked off the floor in search of refreshments._

* * *

~*~ November 1776~*~

When the guests began to arrive for the ball, Lydia found herself feeling rather ill. Her stomach hurt. It wasn't out of nervousness like the dance she had attended with Benj, but rather, pure dread of what was to come. She turned her back to the people and pinched her cheeks, trying to hide her pale colouring.

"Try to look like you're enjoying yourself, Lydia," her father leaned over and whispered to her.

"Why?" Lydia asked defiantly. "I thought it was a sin to lie."

Richard's eyes widened in shock momentarily before he quickly masked his shock with a facade for the other guests. He smiled at several officers who walked by but managed to say through gritted teeth. "It is also a transgression to act ungrateful, my daughter."

Lydia puffed a stray tendril of hair from her face. "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

Richard arched an eyebrow "Then, lest you forget. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."

Lydia's brow furrowed and her hand clenched into a fist. She silently reminded herself that she had a part to play in all this. She raised her chin and set her jaw in defiance. Only a little while longer until she made a mess of her father's plans for her. She needed to keep herself in check, as to not raise suspicion.

Colonel Cooke approached her with a grin on his face. Lydia attempted to keep her composure as he reached for her hand and kissed it greedily. She hated the feeling of this man's lips on her. The only lips she liked touching her were Ben's. His kisses were much softer and much more loving. Lydia kept her repulsion to herself.

She was grateful when Major John Andre came into view. It was an odd sort of relief. She would have been more relieved had it been Ben who walked through the door, but for now, it looked like John Andre was a welcome sight, her temporary savior. She found it odd that she found herself smiling at him. Even her father found seeing her smile odd, but he welcomed the sight after her appalling behavior thus far.

Major Andre approached Lydia with a smile on his face. "Good evening, Miss Woodhull," he greeted bowing toward her.

Lydia genuinely smiled back at him. "Major Andre," Lydia greeted with a curtsy.

"Judge Woodhull," Major Andre greeted Lydia's father. Richard shook Andre's hand. "I was hoping I might borrow your beautiful daughter." Andre offered Lydia his arm and before her father could object, Lydia accepted his arm. Anything to be rid of her father.

Major Andre led Lydia around the room and onto the dance floor where other couples were gathering and the strings were warming up. "I trust you know how to dance, Miss Woodhull?"

"Of course. I might have been raised in sleepy Setauket, but my father had the foresight to raise me properly. Although, I must confess I did not particularly enjoy dance lessons with Widow Browne."

He smiled. "Then let's hope you find dancing with me more enjoyable."

Lydia tried to smile, but she couldn't help but think of Ben. It felt almost a betrayal of him. But she had to do this. Her plan was insane and she knew it, but people did unconventional things for love.

The strings began to play the same minuet she had shared with Ben three years earlier. Major Andre and Lydia bowed toward each other and the dance began. Just as she had with Ben, Lydia danced with grace and poise on Major Andre's arm. She found herself smiling a time or two, but each time she did, she swore she could have seen Ben dancing with her...not Major Andre.

Major Andre was a fine dance partner, but he was not Ben. When the minuet finished, Andre led Lydia to a corner where they were still under the watchful eye of her father, but alone enough to have a moment to themselves.

Warm from the dancing, Lydia waved her hand in front of her face. "Perhaps a drink?" Major Andre offered. Lydia shook her head. "We need to make this look convincing then." He looked right in her eyes. Lydia nodded her head. She noticed he had dark blue eyes, she had never paid much attention to his eyes before. The only eyes she ever looked longingly into before were Benj's. It almost felt too intimate of a gesture to be looking at another man's eyes in such a manner.

"On the count of three, I need you to smile one of the happiest smiles you have ever smiled," he whispered, not breaking eye contact with her. Once again, Lydia nodded her head. Her heart was screaming that this was wrong, but her head knew it to be the only viable option.

"Three. Two. One."

Lydia's face immediately brightened. Only, her thoughts were on her favorite memories of Ben. They flashed through her head and for a moment she imagined that this was the proposal she always wanted from Ben...that he had received her father's blessing and that this blasted war was not being suffered through.

Major Andre smiled. "Nicely executed, Miss Woodhull."

She was then brought back to reality, but she did not let the facade fall. She had to continue the charade that this was the happiest day of her life. Major Andre placed her hand on his arm and walked her toward the string quartet. He grabbed a glass of Madeira before he told them to stop playing.

After what felt like an eternity, the string quartet finally stopped playing. All eyes turned their direction to see why the music had stopped, but Major Andre stood there proudly, practically beaming with pride. Lydia thought him to also be a phenomenal actor.

"If you will lend your ear to me for a moment please, I have blessed news to share with all of you. Miss Woodhull, has agreed to do me the honour of becoming my wife." John Andre took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. Lydia blushed at the gesture as the room burst into a hearty round of applause. Major Andre raised his glass in the air and those with glasses also raised theirs.

"You've spoken with my father?" Lydia asked through a forced smile as she glanced to find her father to see his reaction.

"No, I'm forcing his hand," John answered lowly. "If he denies my request, then he will likely lose his credit with his military connections, the last thing he wants."

"What about Colonel Cooke?"

"Colonel Cooke is a businessman. I suspect we shall have a chat later this evening and he will agree to our engagement for a nice sum of money."

Several British officers came up to Andre and gave him congratulatory slaps on the back. Lydia felt like she was going to be sick. She was being bartered around like she was nothing more than an animal, but still she kept a forced smile on her face. It was her only way to Ben.

But then Major Andre did something that surprised her. He walked over to the string quartet and he took the violin from one of the players. He rested the instrument on his shoulder and with a grin on his face he said, "For my bride-to-be."

He then began to play one of the most beautiful melodies Lydia had ever heard. She was quite taken aback. So much so, that her hand flew over her mouth in shock. For being a sham of an engagement, Major Andre apparently knew no bounds. He smiled at her as he played the song and Lydia couldn't help but smile beneath her hand.

When Major Andre had finished playing, the room burst into applause. He handed the violin back to its owner and returned to Lydia. "Who was the composer of that piece?" Lydia asked. "It was absolutely divine."

Major Andre smiled sheepishly. "Some cad by the name of John Andre."

Lydia stopped suddenly and blinked slowly at him. "You composed that?"

He nodded his head. "I was up all night last night. I hope that you do not mind that I wrote it for the occasion, with you never far from my thoughts."

Lydia could feel her throat beginning to tighten. No one had ever written her a song before.

Major Andre took Lydia's hand and looked into her eyes. "Now, I must apologise for being such a cad last night. I only led you to believe that I will release you from our engagement. But I never told you that should we both find ourselves in the throes of love, I will marry you..and I must confess, that last night I could not help but hope that one day that very thing become reality."

Once again, Major Andre had managed to shock her. She had no words. Had she not already given her heart to Benjamin Tallmadge, Lydia could have easily seen herself falling for the major. And for that, she felt somewhat guilty.

"You need not say anything," Andre whispered before he kissed her hand. "Now, let us celebrate our engagement and deal with other matters when they arise." So, Lydia and Major Andre rejoined the party and shared in the jovial celebration.

Long after the festivities had ended and Lydia had changed into her shift for bed, a knock came from her door. Lydia was still up reading Ben's letters while tears streamed down her cheeks. She quickly stuffed Ben's letters beneath her pillow before she picked up a candle and walked toward the door. Lydia slowly opened the door to reveal her brother. He pushed his way inside and quickly shut the door behind him.

"What have you done, Lydia?" Abe hissed barely above a whisper.

"What do you mean?" Lydia asked her brother, setting the candle down on her nightstand.

"You've certainly made a mess of things. What I wanted to tell you earlier was that I had information to pass on to Ben. I wanted to apologise for being such an arse."

Tears stung at Lydia's eyes. "It wouldn't have changed things, Abe. Father intended on marrying me off to Cooke. Tonight's ball was to announce his engagement to me."

"Only Andre beat him to the punch." Lydia nodded her head and Abe shook his. "Father is going to be furious."

"It was the only way," Lydia pleaded. "Major Andre's at least offered me a long engagement to get to know him…" she trailed off, not telling her brother the full truth. "Colonel Cooke would have insisted on a Christmas wedding."

Abe nodded his head and then furrowed his brow. "Why do I get the feeling like you're not telling me something?"

"Do you not like the feeling, Abraham?" Lydia questioned. "I am not entirely sure I can trust you with the matter. You keep changing your mind. So, until I know where your loyalties truly lie, that is as much information I am willing to divulge. Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to get some rest before our journey tomorrow."

Lydia practically pushed her brother from the room. She closed the door and leaned against it before she broke into silent sobs. She had certainly made a mess of things. But then again, she had complicated matters last June.

The next morning, breakfast was a rather somber affair. Colonel Cooke did not join them for breakfast. He had probably drunk too much the night before, especially after learning that Lydia was engaged to John Andre. His maid said that Colonel Cooke wished them safe travels and that he looked forward to seeing Richard in York City before the month was through. Lydia bowed her head. She knew her father's next visit would take place on her birthday. For as long as she could remember, her father always travelled to York City on her birthday. He did not like to be reminded of the day he lost his wife, despite gaining a daughter, so he always went away around then.

As they were about to depart the home of Colonel Cooke, Lydia was surprised to see Major Andre strolling toward them. "Miss Woodhull," Andre addressed with a smile on his face.

Taken aback, Lydia was too stunned to remember her manners. "What are you doing here?" she questioned.

"I know not when I will see you next, so I came to see you off," Major Andre said.

"As any good fiance should," Richard Woodhull said with a slight smile on his face. He then thrust his hand toward Major Andre. Major Andre watched Richard closely for a moment before he accepted the man's hand. It was as if something unspoken happened between the two of them.

"We'd best be off," Abraham said approaching with his hands behind his back. "I would like to make it home to Mary and Sprout this evening." Abe looking at Lydia rather pointedly. She knew that he had something else he would be taking care of first. Whatever it was he found out to pass onto Ben, he would be wanting Anna to hang a petticoat.

Lydia's stomach twisted in knots knowing this while they were standing beside Major Andre. She wanted Abraham to pass information onto Ben, but what would Andre ask of her? She did not want to do anything that might cause Ben harm, but she needed to keep herself safe. Abe was right, she certainly had made a mess of things.

Major Andre escorted them to the Brooklyn ferry. Before Lydia boarded the ferry, he kissed her cheek. Lydia blushed. Her father chuckled because he thought she was embarrassed by such a public display of affection, but that was the least of her worries. Major Andre helped her board the ferry before he told her that he looked forward to corresponding with her. Lydia knew there was a hidden meaning to his words. She simply smiled and nodded her head.

Her father looked rather happy during the ferry ride, which surprised her. He said nothing to her, which Lydia was fine with. The carriage ride back to Setauket was uneventful. Abraham and her father conversed with each other, while Lydia kept to herself inside the carriage. Not that she particularly enjoyed being alone with her thoughts either, but it was better than speaking with her father.

Upon their return to White Hall, Richard pulled the carriage into the lane leading to the house. He drew the horses to a halt before he moved to open the carriage door for Lydia. She accepted her father's hand down. Much to her surprise, her father held onto her hand. Despite the fact that the sun was nearly set, Lydia could still see her father's smiling face.

"A major for a son? Lydia you have made your father proud," Richard Woodhull offered before he pressed a kiss on the top of his daughter's head.

Lydia's brow furrowed. She thought he would have been furious for the scene she caused, but since they had disembarked Colonel Cooke's home, he had a rather happy demeanor. Lydia was not sure she liked that, but Richard continued.

"I only wish I would have known of Major Andre's interest sooner, then I would not have so fervently courted the idea of Colonel Cooke. But Major Andre seems eager to work things out with him, striking a good bargain for all parties involved."

Lydia nodded her head.

"To think, a daughter in York City. Think of all the fine parties and social standing you shall be privy to. Just the thought alone makes a father proud. And more grandchildren."

"We would like a long engagement, Father," Lydia told him.

"I have a feeling you two will be wed sooner rather than later, judging by how happy you looked last night. Thank the Lord I never gave that Tallmadge boy my blessing. What an embarrassment he would have been to us. Major Andre will make a finer son than that Tallmadge boy could ever hope to be"

Lydia's throat tightened. She did not appreciate her father talking of Ben in such a manner. But as far as he knew, she was happily engaged to Major Andre and for now, she needed him to think that. If he believed she was happily engaged, then he wouldn't try to force her into an engagement. And with Major Andre in York City, it made it harder for him to rush the wedding. Lydia would be certain to refrain from any visit to the city should her father decide to hurry things along in that regard.

"Father, I would like to take a walk with my sister," Abe said.

Richard nodded his head. "Just make sure to keep her safe, Abraham. She's an engaged woman now." Lydia and Abe stayed near the carriage while Richard strode into White Hall to share the blessed news with Major Hewlett.

"I thought he would be angrier," Lydia mused with a furrowed brow. "He hasn't spoken with me since the ball."

"You didn't see him that night," Abe said rather pointedly. "He was furious that you may have cost him his friendship with Cooke. But the next morning, Father found out that Andre had offered Cooke more money that he had for you. Cooke was more than pleased with the sum and happy to continue his days as a bachelor."

Lydia nodded her head. "Will you go ask Anna to hang a petticoat now?" she asked.

Abraham looked at his sister hesitantly. "Aye."

"I am coming with you. I am in need of a good chat with Anna now more than ever."

"Lyddie, you're engaged to a British officer."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "I need not be reminded of that, Abraham," she growled. "But that is all. I am not wed to him, nor do I love him. I still fully intend on helping the cause. I-I just need to talk with Benj."

"Oh, about the fact that you are _engaged_ to a British officer?"

"That is between me and Ben."

"You're engaged to a British officer!"

Lydia was frustrated with Abraham's theatrics. She knew her situation far better than he ever could. "I heard you the first two times, Abraham. Now, shall we head to Anna's?" She stood a little taller, daring her brother to defy her. Thankfully, he did not and they made their way to Anna's house.

As they drew closer to Strong Manor, Lydia noticed a light on in the barn. She pointed it out to Abraham and he suggested they try looking for Anna in the barn first. Lydia followed her brother's lead, holding tightly onto her cloak.

Once they were near the barn, they heard voices talking in hushed tones. One belonged to Anna. The other sounded familiar, but it seemed out of place. "Woody only thinks he's changed, Annie. Mostly his problem is that he married the wrong woman."

"Caleb?" Lydia whispered with a furrowed brow as Abe pushed his way into the barn. She groaned as she heard a gun click and then followed her way inside the barn.

"Lyddie-girl, you too?" Caleb asked with a toothy grin as he lowered his gun. Lydia just nodded her head as she made her way beside Anna. With a smile on her face, Anna reached out and gently brushed Lydia's shoulder.

"Well, are you going to tell them why we're here or not?" Lydia asked, looking at her brother.

"I bear gifts from New York," Abe said with a grin on his face.

Caleb laughed heartily. "What'd you find out?" he asked.

Abe looked at Lydia. For a moment, she thought that he was going to break the news of her engagement. Lydia's stomach flipped. But instead, he said, "Well, that while the Royal Army prepares to stand down for the winter, a brigade of Hessian mercenaries 1,500 strong readies to march to Trenton."

Lydia breathed a sigh of relief as Caleb started to laugh again. "Gold. It's gold. I gotta get this back to Ben right away."

"There's something else you gotta know."

Lydia took a step between Abe and Caleb. She reached out and touched Caleb's arm. She wasn't sure she could trust Abe to keep her engagement a secret and Lydia wanted to be the one to tell Ben. Not Caleb. "We will help you get out," Lydia said before Abe could say any more. "You can trust us."

Caleb found Lydia's last statement a bit odd. "I do. I do trust you," he said.

"What Lydia means is that she found another way to help out the cause," Abe said in a low voice.

"Abraham, don't," Lydia hissed.

Both Caleb and Anna looked quite confused. "What is going on, you two?" Anna asked with her hands on her hips.

Lydia looked at Abraham pleadingly. "Not now."

"Either you tell them, or I will," Abraham told his sister. Lydia folded her arms across her chest childishly. She hated her own game being played against her. Lydia shook her head. "Fine," Abe said. "Lydia is engaged to a British officer."

"What?" Caleb roared turning angrily toward Lydia. "What about Benny-boy? He loves you. He…"

Anna placed a hand on Caleb's shoulder, cutting him off. Surprisingly, Anna's reaction was the exact opposite of Caleb's. Her demeanor remained calm. She placed herself between Lydia and Caleb. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation."

Lydia nodded her head. "He-he's also adjutant of gathering intelligence. I have no intention of marrying him. I-I'm just trying to placate my father while helping the cause."

Caleb exhaled. "I don't like this. Not one bit. And Benny-boy won't either."

Finding her courage once more, Lydia placed her hands on her hips and stood tall against Caleb. "I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Or would you have preferred I be married to another officer by Christmas? I don't have to explain myself to you."

"No, but you will have to explain to Ben."

"Which I fully intend on doing...on my own...without your help, Caleb. I need you to trust me." Lydia and Caleb locked eyes, her stern expression refusing to break away.

When Caleb saw that she was not going to back down, he nodded his head. "I might not understand, but I do trust you Lyddie."

"So, you'll let me tell him then?"

Caleb sighed. "I don't know if Ben will be able to get away. He was reprimanded rather harshly for Simcoe."

"Simcoe? What of him?" Abe asked, interrupting them.

Caleb winced slightly. "There-there's something you need to know…" He sounded rather uncomfortable as he spoke the words. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Anna cut him off.

"Let them hear it from me," Anna said, gently touching Caleb's arm. "Simcoe is dead. They hid his body to make it look like he'd run off like the cowardly blackguard he was."

Abe nodded his head. Lydia felt a slight wave of relief crash over her. Given her current situation, she had forgotten the torment that was Captain Simcoe. Thank the Lord he would no longer be a thorn in her side. But that still didn't take care of her current predicament.

"Caleb, I need you to get Ben here...for my birthday. He always comes on my birthday. I will tell him then."

"I don't know, Lyddie," Caleb sighed.

"Caleb, please? I need Ben to understand. And if anyone can make this happen, it's you."

Rather reluctantly, Caleb agreed to try. He still was not sure he could make it happen, but he would try. Abraham stayed in the barn with Caleb while Lydia headed for the house with Anna. Lydia was in need of understanding company now more than ever.

* * *

 **Author's note: Sorry it's been a while! Things have been kinda crazy since I last updated. I moved 2,000 miles across the country, got settled into a new job, then within the last 6 weeks I broke my toe, ruptured my eardrum, had an old friend die, found out my godmother has Alzheimer's, and I suddenly got temporary custody of my little sister. So-crazy times. But thank you so much to those who read this and stuck around. I really appreciate it. I hope that you liked this chapter! :)**

 **I just wanted to say thank you to those who reviewed my last chapter! It means a lot to me.**

 **Also, thanks to nixdragon for beta-ing for me.**


	9. Eternity How Long

**Chapter 9: Eternity How Long**

* * *

A brisk wind blew off the water chilling one to the bone. Lydia tightened her cloak against her body as she climbed the hill toward Setauket's former church, turned barracks for the English army. Freshly made earthworks had been erected around the army's base. This was Caleb Brewster's doing. Abraham and Caleb had decided for her that she would not be participating in helping Caleb flee Setauket.

They had made quite a scene, which had prompted Major Hewlett to believe his paranoia that the Rebels were planning on attacking Setauket. Lydia could not help but feel that had she been allowed to participate in the plan to sneak Caleb out, this whole situation could have been avoided. But she hadn't. Although, Lydia had a sneaking suspicion that Caleb not allowing her to help went beyond the fact she was a woman and had a something to do with the fact that she was engaged to Major Andre. She just hoped that he would keep his promise to bring Ben home to her.

But the reason for their current visit was a memorial for Thomas, Lydia's brother. Thomas, the eldest of the Woodhull children, had died three years prior. He had been a captain in the 16th regiment of the King's militia. He had died performing his duty, attempting to stifle a riot at King's College where Abraham had been studying the law. Lydia had not been told much regarding her brother's death. She always felt that there was more to his death, that something was being kept secret from her; but Lydia knew better than to question it.

Lydia, Mary who was carrying young Thomas, Abe, and Richard came to a stop in front of their beloved Thomas' gravestone. Lydia tried to choke back a sob. She missed her brother. Despite their age difference, Thomas had always been her favourite brother. But what she loved most about Thomas was that while he never directly spoke the words out loud, she knew that in his own way, he approved of Ben. Thomas had been the first one to learn of her correspondence with Ben, having intercepted one of their letters. He never told their father of the letters. In fact, the only thing he really said about them to Lydia was that he knew it would happen eventually. And now, Lydia could not help but smile at that very fact.

After a tear slipped from her eyes, Lydia knelt down and placed a bouquet of flowers on her brother's grave. She blinked back a few more tears before she stood up and clutched her cloak a little tighter as her father began to speak. "I thought I would read a verse from Proverbs, his favourite."

"He preferred the one from Galatians," Lydia and Abraham responded simultaneously. The siblings met each other's gaze. Things had once again been tense between them. Their father looked between them, expecting them to start bickering; but Lydia knew better than to make a scene in public. If she did, she would be the one chastised later, not Abraham.

Richard just nodded his head. "You knew him better," he said. Lydia noticed that he had not made mention of which one of them knew him better. Instead, he flipped the pages in his Bible to Galatians and began to read.

Lydia had a hard time concentrating on the words her father spoke. Instead, she watched the soldiers through veiled eyes. The soldiers who had been present at Caleb's escape from Setauket. The soldiers who were being punished for allowing him to escape. One of those soldiers being Ensign Baker. Lydia never wished him ill. She knew him to be a kind, if somewhat aloof, man. She didn't wish to see him being whipped nor to hear him groaning in pain. War was barbaric and she hated it.

While she understood the necessity, she wished there was some other way to deal with the situation. Not only for Ensign Baker's sake, but also for Ben's. If this could happen to Ensign Baker, she knew Ben would endure much worse at the hands of the British. She silently said a prayer for him before she was able to bring her thoughts back to Thomas's memorial.

Mary reached over and gently squeezed Lydia's hand before she set her own bouquet of flowers on Thomas's grave. Lydia's heart ached for Mary. Mary, who was supposed to be wed to Thomas, but was now married to Abraham. Honestly, Lydia found Mary more of a match for Thomas. She would have made him a sweet wife and he would have made her very happy. But that was not what God had planned. And while Lydia knew she was supposed to trust in God's plan, she did not understand the plan he had for Mary and Abraham.

"Before I met Thomas," Mary started as she stood upright. "I was uncertain about being engaged to a stranger." She cast Lydia a knowing glance. Lydia knew that Mary was trying to comfort her about her engagement to John Andre. She had cried a few tears when she told Mary what had transpired in York City. Mary then smiled softly before she continued. "But the first thing he told me about was his family and how you would welcome me."

Mary made eye contact with Richard. "He seemed a very good son." Richard nodded in agreement.

"And a better brother," Abraham added.

"Aye," Lydia agreed. Abe knew that she had always preferred Thomas to him. Father would usually say that it was because Lydia and Abe were too close in age. Lydia knew better. While Abe began to prattle on about one his memories of Thomas, Lydia couldn't help but think of a memory of her own.

* * *

 _~*~Summer 1766~*~_

 _Lydia sat at the pianoforte under Widow Browne's watchful eye. She plunked a wrong key and within seconds, Widow Browne was ready to pounce and reprimand her. While Lydia appreciated music, she much preferred singing to playing. Occasionally, when Lydia helped Aberdeen in the kitchen, they would sing together, even though Widow Browne frowned upon such behavior. Lydia was not sure why. Aberdeen had a beautiful singing voice and taught her many songs. But Widow Browne insisted that it wasn't ladylike to repeat such songs, even though Lydia did not see the harm in such songs._

 _Frustratedly, Lydia repeated the same line of music for the twelfth time when she heard the door open and close. While she knew she was not to wish anyone ill, she wished Father's head hurt and that he would demand she cease practicing. Lydia played a note wrong and Widow Browne rapped Lydia's knuckles with her scolding rod. Bringing her knuckles to her mouth, she sucked on them to soothe the pain._

" _Again, Lydia," Widow Browne said. But Lydia was surprised to find the woman's tone much more gentle. She had a slight smile on her face. Lydia could never remember in all her lessons seeing Widow Browne smile. Not once. She wanted to turn to see at what Widow Browne was smiling, but she knew that her knuckles would be rapped if she did. Lydia just hoped it was not her father. She did not with the widow for a mother. Missus Tallmadge was mother enough for her._

 _Lydia began to play once again when a pair of hands covered her eyes. She stopped playing and grinned. There was only one person who did that. "Thomas!" Lydia squealed as she quickly turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. She hung there as Thomas laughed and embraced his little sister._

" _I take it you missed me," Thomas teased. He picked his little sister up from the bench and swung her around like she was nothing more than a rag doll. Lydia laughed with glee. Even Widow Browne cracked a smile at the interaction. After several twirls, Thomas set Lydia back down on the back. "Please excuse the interruption, Widow Browne," Thomas directed toward Lydia's teacher._

 _Thomas then looked down at Lydia. "Perhaps we shall play a duet to make up for my poor manners?" Lydia nodded her head enthusiastically. Thomas motioned for her to move over on the bench. She did as she was told. One of the only times Lydia enjoyed playing the pianoforte was when Thomas played with her. "What shall we play then? Any suggestions, Widow Browne?"_

 _Widow Browne shuffled through a few pieces before she set one on the pianoforte. Thomas smiled at his sister and nudged her. "Ah, we know this one. Don't we, Lyddie?" Lydia nodded her head. The Woodhull siblings began to play together, neither of them aware of Abraham watching them in jealousy from the window._

 _The song was played so well that Widow Browne dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. "It appears Miss Lydia simply needed some proper motivation to play properly." Lydia blushed. That was likely the closest Lydia would ever get to a compliment from Widow Browne. Much to Lydia's surprise, Widow Browne ended their lessons for the day. Lydia was so thankful knew where it was going and still almost screamed she could have hugged Widow Browne, but she refrained knowing better than to do so._

 _Once Widow Browne was out of the house, Lydia whispered to Thomas, "I'm quite thankful you've helped me rid myself of her."_

" _Lydia, you mustn't talk so," Thomas scolded before looking over his shoulder. He then looked back at Lydia. "But you are welcome. Trust me, I know the torture that is lessons with Widow Browne." Thomas smiled at his sister, but Lydia shook her head._

" _You only had her for music lessons. You did not have to learn to be a lady."_

 _Thomas laughed. "No, and thank the good Lord for that." He gently touched his sister's button nose and smiled. "You remind me of her, you know." Lydia's brow furrowed. "Of mother. You never got the chance to know her, but she would have loved you, Lydia." Lydia trusted that he was being truthful. He probably knew their mother best. Thomas tugged one of Lydia's curls. "Let us go for a walk, sister. Perhaps we will find Abraham."_

 _Secretly, Lydia hoped they would not find Abe, but she would endure spending time with him if it meant getting to be with Thomas._

* * *

~*~ November 1776~*~

After the Woodhull family had finished Thomas's memorial, Major Hewlett approached them. He shook Richard and Abraham's hands before he bowed toward Lydia and Mary. "Miss Woodhull, might I again offer my congratulations on your engagement with Major Andre. A fine match. A fine match indeed."

Lydia blushed, unsure of how to respond. Hewlett's tone was a little louder than usual. Ensign Baker winced at the mention of her engagement, despite not having been struck. It was clear this was more of a punishment of Ensign Baker then it was a hearty congratulations. But Lydia still thanked him anyway. She still had appearances to keep up no matter how much of a sham the engagement truly was.

"Oh, before I forget, Miss Woodhull. I have a letter for you from York City, sent by special courier." Hewlett grinned as he handed the letter over to her. "I do believe it is from Major Andre."

She took the letter from him and shoved it in her right pocket, which was under her many layers of petticoats. "Now, if you'll excuse me Miss Woodhull, Missus Woodhull, and Abraham, but I have an important matter I must discuss with the magistrate immediately." Judge Woodhull followed Hewlett back into what had once been the church.

Mary picked up her son and looked at Abraham and Lydia. "We could use a bit more flour for Lydia's upcoming birthday celebration." Mary kissed her son's head before she smiled at Lydia and then looked at her husband.

Abraham nodded his head. "But put it on Father's account. She still is in his care...for now."

Mary giggled. "Yes, for now; but soon she will be married to a handsome major if all the reports I've heard are accurate." Mary nudged Lydia. Lydia just smiled. She hated being reminded of Andre. While she found him to be a charming man from their interactions, she knew she could never love him. Not the way she loved Benj.

Lydia pulled her cloak a little tighter when Mary asked if she would like to her join her in town. "I appreciate the offer, Mary, but I think I might stare here a little longer. I'm in need of a good visit." Mary nodded her head, she understood why Lydia wanted to stay. Abraham, on the other hand, did not. He simply looked at his sister quizzically. So, Mary had him walk her to town so that Lydia might have at least a few moments of solace.

She quietly walked by the headstones until she can to the one that she wished to visit. Lydia placed her hand on the stone. "Hello, Mother," she whispered before she knelt in front of the stone. WIth her fingers, she traced the name on the stone: Susannah Tallmadge. Lydia had never known her mother, so Ben's mother had always been more of a maternal figure to her.. "I have always wanted to call you that, Mother. I hope you do not mind that I do so now. I always thought of you as such."

Several tears slipped from her eyes, down her cheeks. Not only did she miss her brother, but she also missed Missus Tallmadge. While she had hope that she would one day be reunited with each of them in heaven, her heart still hurt from her earthly loss. Lydia wiped away the tears and inhaled deeply. Then, she told Missus Tallmadge about all that was weighing on her heart.

* * *

 _~*~ April 1768~*~_

 _Ten-year-old Lydia Woodhull ran through the forest. Having lost her cap at some point, her hair was flying every which way, but she did not care. She could have run faster had she not been weighed down by the blankets in her arms. She was on a mission to find Benj. Reverend Tallmadge had come to Whitehall and shared the devastating news with them: Missus Tallmadge had passed. But he also shared that Ben had run off after she died. It seemed very uncharacteristic of Ben to do so and his father hoped that he had run to Whitehall; but he was not there. Although Lydia was certain she knew where he was._

 _She had followed Ben on occasion into the forest. She knew it was not proper to spy on anyone, let alone a girl spy on a boy, but her curiosity always got the better of her. Lydia knew that Ben liked the trees near the water's edge. She knew he liked to climb those trees to read, was scolded by his father, or needed a respite from his brothers._

 _The sun was just beginning to set. It would be dark soon. She needed to find him before it got dark. As she approached the water's edge, Lydia gaze went upward. The sun hit her eyes just right and made her sneeze, giving away her position. Thankfully, she managed to see a pair of legs swing upward. Good thing too, because once his legs were no longer dangling, Ben practically disappeared against the branch of the tree._

 _Taking a few more steps, Lydia looked straight up the tree. "Benj, I know you're up there," she called. No response came. Lydia groaned and shouted his name once more. "Benjamin Tallmadge." Still, no response came._

 _Not wanting to leave him alone, Lydia threw the blankets over her shoulder and climbed up the tree, careful not to trip over her petticoats. Ben looked quite surprised when she sat down on the branch beside him. Lydia could tell that his eyes were red and puffy from crying. She too had wept bitterly after Reverend Tallmadge had shared the news, but she knew that she had to find Ben to be sure of his well-being._

" _What are you doing here, Lydia?" Ben sniffled, wiping his face. Lydia could tell that he was embarrassed to be seen crying in front of her. Not using the nickname he had given her long ago and opting for her Christian name instead gave him away._

 _Lydia shifted so that her back was against the trunk of the tree. "Your father came to Whitehall. He-he told us about your mother." Ben's face contorted when Lydia mentioned his mother. She sighed. "I'm so sorry, Benj."_

 _Stubbornly, Ben just shook his head and turned his back to her. "Go away, Lydia. I want to be alone right now."_

" _No, you don't," Lydia responded, sounding quite sure of herself._

 _Struck by her response, Ben looked at her over his shoulder with an expression of shock on his face. "How would you know what I want, Lydia Woodhull?" Ben spat._

 _Lydia was initially taken aback by his response, but she knew that was not Ben talking. From what Thomas had told her, grief made people act unlike themselves. So, Lydia stood her ground. "You just lost your mother, Benj. You miss her. A-and I miss her too. I know she wasn't my mother, but she was the closest thing I ever had to a living one. A-and I thought maybe we could miss her together. The last thing you need is to be alone. So, I will stay here all night if I have to. I even brought blankets."_

 _Lydia threw one of the blankets at him, which landed on his head before she draped the other one over her lap. Despite the fact that she felt like crying, she wanted to stay strong for Ben. So, she offered him a small smile._

 _Ben was shocked by her response as he removed the blanket from his head. To be honest, even Lydia was shocked by the words that came out of her mouth. But she said them and she knew better than to take them back. Ben shook his head. "What will your father think? It wouldn't be proper, Lyddie."_

 _Lydia sat a little taller against the tree trunk. "Father left for York City this morning and Aberdeen thinks I am staying the night with Annie. The only ones who will ever know are in this tree and I think that squirrel can keep a secret."_

 _Ben looked over his shoulder to look at the squirrel at which Lydia was pointing. A small smile touched his face for a moment. The only smile he had managed all day and it was because of Lydia. He glanced at her. Honestly, he did not truly mind that she was there. Ben knew that Lydia loved his mother nearly as much as he did. He sniffled and wiped away a few unshed tears. "Where's your cap?" he asked her._

 _Lydia chewed her lip and pondered his question for a moment. "I think I lost is near the Smiths place. I had to walk that direction so that people would think I actually went there."_

 _Ben shook his head and draped the blanket around his shoulders. "All for me? Why?"_

 _A blush crept up Lydia's cheeks as tears began to sting her eyes. She was not sure Ben would understand why. But she knew his mother would and that made Lydia miss Missus Tallmadge. Lydia was not sure if Ben's mother had also shared her hopes with him, as she had with Lydia. Of course, it was probably silly to fill a young girl's head with notions of marriage so soon, but Missus Tallmadge had confided to Lydia that she hoped Lydia would marry one of her sons so that she might truly have Lydia for a daughter. Missus Tallmadge even confessed that she hoped it might be Benjamin. But Lydia would not share that with him. Not now._

 _Instead, Lydia offered, "I did not think you should be alone. I do not want to be alone, but Abraham does not understand. I think we might just understand each other this once."_

 _Ben nodded his head. They stayed together in that tree for the rest of the night, neither one speaking another word to each other, but somehow both being there for the other during their time of need._

* * *

~*~ November 1776~*~

When Lydia finished her speech to Missus Tallmadge's grave, she turned to find Abraham spying on her from the trees. Lydia wiped away the tears and turned to look at her brother. "Seems strange," he said. "To be at the grave of one man's mother when you are engaged to another."

"Hold your tongue, Abraham," Lydia countered. "Especially when you do not know the entire truth of the matter."

Abe took a few steps closer'The truth of the matter is that you are engaged to a British officer Lydia, or have you forgotten?" Lydia stood and looked at her brother coldly, biting her tongue to keep from saying too much. "It isn't right, Lydia. To cling to the grave of another man's mother."

Not wanting to deal any further with Abraham, Lydia turned and left the cemetery.

The day following the graveside memorial for Thomas, Lydia scurried about Whitehall trying to grab the necessary supplies for a sewing circle a Missus Browne's house. Missus Browne was the wife of Jeremiah Browne, son of Widow Browne with whom Lydia had her dreaded lessons. They lived in Widow Browne's former house, so Lydia knew the way there quite well. Abraham was going to drop Mary off at Whitehall. From there, Lydia and Mary would walk to Missus Browne's together.

Lydia grabbed some bits of cloth from the desk in her room when she noticed the still unopen letter from Major Andre. Had it been a letter from Benj, she would have opened it and responded immediately. Lydia knew that Ben loathed when people took their time in responding to correspondence. She had learned from him to always be prompt in her return letters, but for some reason, she could not bring herself to even open the letter from Major Andre. It did not seem right. Those letters should not belong to her and yet they were addressed with her name on them.

Not wanting anyone to look at the letter while she was away, Lydia stuffed it once more in her pocket. Honestly, she was worried that Abraham might take a look at it while she was gone and send the news in a report to Ben. While Lydia hoped that Ben would be back in Setauket before the news could reach him, there was still a chance that Ben would not be coming back and things would be even more of a mess than they already were. So it was better that she keep the letter on her person.

Mary called her name from downstairs. Lydia ran downstairs to meet Mary. The two women greeted each other with a hug. Lydia went to the kitchen to grab the basket of turnovers she had prepared for the occasion. The womenfolk loved her apple pastries. Just about the whole town loved them. Sometimes, Lydia felt the only reason she was ever invited to these things was because of her pastries and Mary. Otherwise, she really had very little connection to the womenfolk of Setauket.

They walked outside and to the cart where Abraham sat with young Thomas in the back of the cart. Mary kissed her son's head from where his head poked out from the cart. "Don't give your father too much grief, Thomas," Mary told him.

"We'll be fine. Won't we Sprout?" Abraham said. Lydia refused to meet her brother's gaze. She was still angry at him from the day before. He had no right to say such things to her. Thankfully, he did not stay any longer. He got the horse going and pulled away, headed down the lane.

Mary sighed. "I'm quite thankful for a girls afternoon. I love being a wife and a mother, but I do so look forward to these outings." Lydia smiled at Mary. The two women walked to the end of the lane and turned in the direction of the Browne place. Mary sighed.

"What is it, Mary?" Lydia asked.

"I can hardly believe what your father is doing. It's just wrong, to ask that of the townspeople. To give up their gravestones for the fortification of the barracks. Then again, Hewlett is the one making them do it. It is very good that I got you out of that house."

"Come again?" Lydia asked blinking slowly.

"You didn't know, did you?" Mary winced. "You'll have to keep me in check at the sewing circle. I promise Abraham I would not say anything, but it makes me so angry."

Lydia's mind was swimming. Major Hewlett wanted to unearth the gravestones to protect the barracks. It was indecent. She could hardly believe that her father was going along with Hewlett's plan. Then again, she really should not be all that surprising given how he had intervened in her affairs. Anger burned within Lydia. She had once looked up to her father. But these days, she held more contempt against him than ever before.

"Are you angry with me? Please don't be angry with me," Mary pleaded, resting her hand on Lydia's arm.

"It is not you with whom I am angry, Mary," Lydia stated patting Mary's hand. "I agree that it is completely barbaric and I am angry at my father for his role in the matter, among other matters."

"Like your engagement?" Mary asked. She glanced at Lydia with a sympathetic expression. "I know what it is like to not marry for love, sister. I promise you'll find satisfaction in your role one day. Perhaps not right away, but when you are blessed with your own children, I am sure you will be happy."

Lydia sighed. "Major Andre was not the man my father intended on me entering into an engagement with. He was arranging for my engagement to Colonel Cooke."

Mary's eyes widened. "Is he not the man your father sells to in the city?"

"Aye."

"Is he not Father's age?"

Lydia nodded her head.

Mary's brow furrowed. "Then however did you end up in an engagement with Major Andre?"

"I'll tell you one day, Mary, but for now it is still too raw."

"Understandable," Mary said before squeezed Lydia's arm. "I'm here for you, sister, should you ever need anyone to speak to." Lydia offered her sister-in-law a smile before they changed the topic of conversation the rest of the way to the Browne place.

Lydia felt completely out of place at the sewing circle. It wasn't that she did not know how to sew. No, Lydia could stitch just fine. It was the fact that Mary was the only one who seemed to engage her in any conversation. Mary always had a way of trying to include her, but no matter how hard Lydia tried, she just was not a good fit for these ladies. The only reason she belonged was her station in life, the daughter of the town magistrate and now the fiancee of a British officer. Lydia should have been the most envied lady in town, but she just did not seem to fit with them. Much like it was when she was a child, Lydia found it easier to converse with the menfolk, which the womenfolk...especially the married womenfolk, did not approve.

Lydia sat to Mary's right as the women gathered for the event worked on a quilt for the upcoming wedding of one of the young ladies in Setauket. For a moment, she wondered if some of the women had begun to make a quilt for her engagement to Major Andre. She hoped not. The wedding would never happen.

As Lydia made intricate stitches to the quilt, the women turned their conversation from town gossip to Lydia's engagement...more gossip. "Please, do tell us about your major," Missus Browne said to Lydia.

Lydia knew the only reason they were even speaking with her was that Mary was there and the fact that they wanted to live vicariously through her engagement. A life in York City with a wealthy British major would give her much more luxuries then even the woman of the highest station in Setauket. But Lydia did not say anything. She offered a small smile.

"Is he handsome, Lydia?" Mary asked, attempting to nudge Lydia further into the conversation.

"I suppose so," Lydia mused. For a moment, she stopped sewing and thought of Major Andre. He was very handsome and so kind to her. It was too bad that she could not marry him...for his sake. But he would not want to marry her anyway if he knew the truth of matters.

"Look at her, she can't stop thinking of him," one of the women teased.

Lydia snapped her thoughts back to the sewing circle. She blushed at the teasing before she started to sew once more.

"You'll certainly be well-cared for in York City," Mary said. "But I will miss you sorely, my dear sister."

The women then began to prattle on about all the fine things in York City. Lydia quietly excused herself, claiming that now would be a good time for her pastries. Truthfully, she just could not stand any more talk of John Andre or York City. She wished she could just run away from it all. Instead, she was here, placing pastries on a platter to share with the womenfolk of Setauket.

Lydia took a deep breath before she walked back into the sitting room. The room was dead quiet and Mary looked rather flustered as she attempted a few stitches. Lydia's brow furrowed. Clearly, she had missed something.

"Would anyone like a pastry?" Lydia asked sweetly.

Most of the women ignored her, but Missus Browne said, "After what Mary's just told us, I'm afraid I just lost my appetite."

"What has Mary just told you?" Lydia asked.

"Why only what your father is intent on doing to the town. It's a disgrace!"

The women then erupted into heated discussions about the well-being of Setauket and how could Judge Woodhull be so selfish and demanding of the town. While truthfully, Lydia agreed with the women, she knew to keep her lips sealed on the matter. She could hardly believe that she wished the conversation to turn back to her engagement with John Andre, but sadly, it never did.

That night, Lydia sat in her bed dressed in her shift under the quilts rereading Ben's letters. She read one from his Yale days. They seemed so youthful and innocent then...and much more carefree. Their dreams had seemed so much more within reach back then. With this war going on, Lydia feared the could easily be lost. When she finished one letter, she got up and removed the floorboard to find another.

As she was rifling for another letter, the sound of angry shouts came from outside. Lydia's brow furrowed as she rushed to the window to see what was going on. Men with torches approached Whitehall. There had to be several dozen men out there and while Lydia only caught an occasional glance of their faces from the torchlight, none of them looked happy. Had they come to set fire to Whitehall like whoever had torched Abraham's crop?

Panic began to race through her body. She quickly grabbed the small leather pouch that was hidden between the floorboards at night and in her pocket by day. She could not bear to be without that pouch. Lydia was about to stuff Ben's letters into a small trunk and flee when she heard her father's voice.

"They've come to talk with me. I invited them." He must have been talking down the soldiers who were guarding Whitehall, likely with guns drawn.

Lydia held her breath for a moment, saying a silent prayer that everyone remained calm and that no one was hurt. A knock came at the door. Clutching the leather pouch in her hand, Lydia made her way to the door.

"Who is it?" Lydia whispered.

"Major Hewlett, Miss Woodhull," the major's voice whispered back. "I'm sending one of my men to wake Lieutenant Wakefield. I need you to put on your cloak and go with him."

"P-pardon me?"

"We need to keep you safe. Now, please for your own safety Miss Woodhull, hurry with your cloak and shoes. We will bring you back to Whitehall when all is well once again."

"Where will I go?" Lydia asked.

"There is a room open at Strong Manor. We will send you there for now. Please don't make me ask you again, Miss Woodhull."

Lydia did as she was told. She put her cloak and shoes on, as well as her pockets. Along with the leather pouch, she put as many of Ben's letter that would fit in her pockets as she could before she quietly left her room. Major Hewlett's man was waiting for her at the bottom of the steps. As they escaped out the back, Lydia could hear DeJong shouting at her father.

The solider and Lydia mounted Bucephalus, Major Hewlett's horse, and headed for town. Despite how angry she was with her father, she did not wish him dead. So, she said a silent prayer as the wind whipped her face as they sped faster toward town.

Once at Strong Manor, the soldier Lydia rode with led her inside to wake Lieutenant Wakefield, who was currently being billeted at Strong Manor. Anna had the _pleasure_ of billeting more than one officer since her home was so large and she only occupied one room. Lydia was thankful that Anna roused at the noise being made and came downstairs to see what was going on.

Lydia embraced Anna as Wakefield left the house and went to muster the troops. "This wouldn't be about the gravestones, now would it?" Anna asked.

"You know about that?" Lydia asked.

"Aye, it was all the men could talk about this evening in the tavern."

"They're all at my father's."

"The ale probably isn't helping matters," Anna mused.

Lydia shook her head. Anna took a moment to examine Lydia. She could tell that something was bothering Lydia. But she knew better than to push Lydia. "You must be tired," Anna told her friend. "You can share my bed with me, just like we did when we were girls and we can talk about whatever is bothering you in the morning."

After nodding her head in agreement, Lydia followed Anna upstairs. Lydia was practically asleep once her head hit the pillow. She hadn't even stopped to remove her pockets. Despite the fact that Anna already knew, she didn't want to take the chance of losing them. For now, they were safer on her person.

After dreaming of Benj, Lydia awoke to find Anna no longer beside her. The sun was already streaming though the windows. Lydia realised she must have slept longer than she had intended. After stretching, Lydia took a few steps to find a blue ensemble laid out on a chest with a note from Anna saying that she could borrow it. So, Lydia dressed in the borrowed garments before heading downstairs because wearing only a shift and cloak in broad daylight was highly inappropriate.

Downstairs, she found Anna making breakfast. She was frying some meat over the fire.

Lydia apologised, "I'm sorry for sleeping so late. I hadn't intended to do so."

Anna just waved her hand. "You probably needed the sleep, Lyddie. There's nothing to apologise for. You've had a rough go at things recently."

She wanted to say _as have you_ , but instead, she wrung her hands and asked, "Any news from Whitehall?"

Anna nodded her head. "Aye. Lieutenant Wakefield returned to say that all is well, no one was hurt, and that you may return home at any time."

"Did he say anything else?"

"About the gravestones?" Anna asked Lydia arching an eyebrow in her direction. Lydia nodded her head. "Just that your father said that the heads of family must volunteer the stones and as of last night, there were not any volunteers."

Lydia sighed. "I do not see this ending well."

"I concur. I do not envy the task Hewlett has laid before your father, but he put himself in this position." Anna wiped her hands on her apron. "How are you dealing with your predicament?"

"As I said last time, I'm stuck waiting until Ben hopefully comes for my birthday."

Anna poured tea in a cup for Lydia and handed it to her. "He'll understand, Lyddie. He knew the risks of leaving you here the way he did. You both decided it was best this way."

"I know," Lydia sighed. "I just hope I get to explain things to him before Caleb does. But knowing Caleb…"

"He's likely already told Ben." Anna pursed her lips for a moment and shook her head. "I'll keep you and Ben in my prayers."

"Thank you," Lydia muttered. "I know I haven't told you this often, but I appreciate you letting me confide in you."

Anna smiled. "I might not have married Abraham, Lydia. But you're still as good as my sister." Anna reached out and gave Lydia's hand a squeeze. Lydia squeezed back and smiled at Anna. She was so grateful to have both Anna and Mary in her life. They were the only women who somewhat seemed to understand her. She loved them both dearly, but couldn't help but with the circumstances were a bit different for their roles in her life.

The day the stones were to be unearthed came. The weather outside was cold and blustery, much like the town's current relationship with Judge Woodhull. While Lydia had returned home the day before yesterday, she made sure to stay out of her father's way as he attempted to persuade influential families into giving up their stones. He had not had any success in that matter.

As Lydia came downstairs, she found her father nervously pacing the floor. "Good, you're up," he said gruffly. "Get your cloak, I need you to come with me."

Lydia's brow furrowed. He didn't even allow her to question him. Instead, he said, "We need to present a united family front. Come, Lydia."

She was confused by her father's words. What could he possibly need her for? What was he planning? Judging by his expression, now was not the time to question him. She knew better. So she grabbed her cloak and followed him outside. He already had the cart hooked up to the horse. Her father helped her into the cart before he directed the cart toward town.

Once they reached the town, Richard steered the cart in the direction of the former church. Lydia's eyes widened when she saw a large group climbing the hill headed toward the church. The crowd was larger than the few dozens that had unexpectedly arrived at Whitehall the other night. This crowd looked to be nearly the number of every citizen of Setauket. "Father," Lydia gasped, but Judge Woodhull ignored her as he pulled the cart to a halt near the former church.

Wakefield had his saber drawn at the townspeople who just kept drawing closer. Major Hewlett stood beside Appleton on the steps of the former church. Wakefield shouted for the people to step back. The townspeople came to a stop and Judge Woodhull took this as his cue to make his presence known. Lydia watched from just outside the cart as her father placed himself between Wakefield and the people.

Richard looked out at the crowd of people surrounding the former church. Some of them carried pitchforks and sticks, others carried only their angered expressions which could likely kill. Near the back of the crowd, Lydia spotted her brother, Abraham. His expression matched those of the townspeople. He did not like the idea of tearing out a gravestone any more than the rest of Setauket. Lydia had overheard him talking with their father last night to stand up to Major Hewlett and tell him that it couldn't possibly be done. Lydia hoped that for once in his stubborn life, her father listened to Abraham. While Abe rarely had ideas Lydia agreed with, this was one of the rare occasions she did...not that she was going to tell him so.

Lydia chewed her lip as her father began to speak.

"When Major Hewlett first proposed this plan, I was against it," Richard started. There was some noise from the crowd in agreement. "Now, I must disappoint the major yet again," he continued as he turned to look at Major Hewlett.

Hewlett stood there with a stony expression on his face and his hands behind his back. While Lydia knew the major was more bark than bite, this was the coldest she had ever seen him before.

Richard took a deep breath. "I have no stones to give him."

The townspeople seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief and began to whisper amongst themselves. Major Hewlett's expression turned icier. That should have been the end of it, but looking at her father, Lydia knew he wasn't done yet. Her brow furrowed. What more could he possibly have to say on the matter?

"My fault," Richard started once more. "My fault was not in asking too much of you, but too little."

Lydia's brow furrowed even further. What was her father talking about? Asking too little of what? Lydia walked a few steps over to her brother. "What's he talking about?" she asked Abraham.

Abraham shook his head. He hadn't a clue either.

Richard continued. "We have failed to consider what is most important here. Not what we want or what the major wants. But what God wants."

"Did you two talk of this last night?" Lydia whispered to her brother. Once again, Abraham shook his head.

"And what he demands is sacrifice as a test of faith! _For faith without works is dead,_ " Richard shouted to the people. Lydia could feel her stomach sinking further and further into her body. Her father wasn't a reverend but he was nearly as devout as one. "Abraham understood this when he brought Isaac to the mountain. And we must follow his example, and offer up that which we hold most dear. That which we would never sacrifice."

Lydia shook her head. She hoped he was not suggesting what she thought he was suggesting, but yet she knew that he was. Glancing around the crowd, Lydia looked for Reverend Tallmadge. She hoped that he might speak up against her father in this matter...a matter she knew she was powerless against him. But if Reverend Tallmadge was there, he never spoke up.

Instead, her father finished with one last biblical comparison. "Just as God sacrificed His only son to save us all." Lydia could hardly believe that her father was comparing them giving up gravestones to God giving up His son and yet, he was.

Richard looked at the people and then back at Major Hewlett. He then began his trek toward the cemetery. He grabbed a shovel from one of the uniformed men near a canon and walked over to Thomas's gravestone.

Lydia gasped and looked at her brother. "Do something," Lydia hissed at him. "Abraham, stop him." She asked her brother despite knowing that he was just as powerless as her in the situation. The Woodhull siblings stood there together as Richard struck the shovel into the ground at the foot of Thomas's stone.

She turned away as her father continued to dig up the gravestone. To her surprise, Abraham wrapped an arm around her to comfort her. Tears slid down Lydia's cheeks. This was wrong. It was wrong to take the stones of those who had gone before them. While Lydia had never outright hated Major Hewlett, seeing the smile on his face changed her position. She hated him. What kind of man would do such a thing?

And if there was one thing her father was good at, it was striking a chord within the people. Soon other men joined join her father to dig up their loved one's stones. Soon, it seemed like each family from the town was donating a stone for the earthworks. Lydia turned away as she watched her father push Thomas's stone to the ground.

"Let's get you home, Lydia," Abraham said, trying to keep from shedding his own tears.

"That place is no longer my home," Lydia whispered. "It is simply the house of my father, it can no longer be called a home after what he has done." Abraham nodded his head knowingly before he led his sister down the hill and back to Whitehall.

That night, Lydia stood near her window dressed in her shift staring out at the stars. It had not been an easy day. No, it had been an emotionally draining one. They all seemed emotionally draining these days. There was only a slight glimmer of hope on her horizon.

In the morning, her father would leave Whitehall for York City, despite the fact they had just returned. And for that Lydia was fine. She had refused to eat supper with him and Major Hewlett that night. She was too angry. She probably would have said something she shouldn't have. So instead, she kept to her room.

God-willing, in two days time, she would see Benjamin. She would be able to feel his embrace once more and tell him all that had transpired. Her heart longed for him desperately and it pained her. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she reached for her pockets. She withdrew the silver pouch and clutched it tightly against her heart as she looked out at the stars. Hopefully, the same stars that he was seeing and thinking of her.

Lydia opened the leather pouch and removed the necklace Benj had given her. It's heart pendant reminding her that her heart was his and his heart was hers. She clutched that heart for just a moment before she placed it on the windowsill. While the necklace was something treasured, it wasn't the greatest treasure in her leather pouch. No, her greatest treasure was a bit smaller. She shook the last of the pouch's contents onto her hand before her hand quickly clutched it tightly.

Bringing her clutched hand to her chest, she quickly glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching. Then, Lydia opened her hand to reveal a thin silver band. It shone brightly in the light from the moon. She couldn't help but smile as she placed the ring on the finger to which it belonged. Lydia held her left hand up and examined it in the moonlight, softly smiling. The ring belonged there. It had since June.

* * *

 **Author's Note: You didn't see that coming? Haha. Maybe some of you did. I've been attempting to drop breadcrumbs since the first chapter. Haha. I kept the chapter title becuse I felt it appropriate for how long I've been dying to reveal that bit of information. haha. Thank you to those of you who reviewed my last chapter: ZabususGirl, darkwolf76, ohmicrofilm, RHatch89, SarcasticEnigma, Chantel Royal, Hope, DayStorm (You rock for all those reviews.) and EBB - Sonnet 43.**

 **Also, I may have just lost my competition with Nixdragon because I updated this one instead of my shorter stories. Haha. So, I hope you liked it! Thanks in advance for reading and any reviews you leave!**


	10. Ardently Yours

**Chapter 10: Ardently Yours**

(Disclaimer: This is fanfiction, I took a bit of creative liberty with something in this chapter. This is fiction after all. Please do not come at me.)

* * *

A breeze rustled the leaves that still remained on the trees. The temperature was rather brisk for a November morning as Benjamin Tallmadge set out from the flying camp. He was headed home, to Setauket. Somehow, Caleb had managed to barter him time away from camp where he had been relegated to a mere secretary. Ben had not wanted to know the specifics, but the bartering led to a doctor falsely quarantining a soldier meant to be him. General Scott likely would not come looking any time soon for fear of catching whatever disease was being quarantined. Ben knew this was not the proper way to go about things, but Caleb had taken the measures to set it up. It would be a shame if he did not use the time he had been given wisely. He was going to see his Lyddie.

Ben knew that other soldiers went far longer without seeing their womenfolk. He had even chastised Lydia for her scheme to get him to Setauket the last time. But this time, it was different. He needed to talk to her. While Caleb had been rather sheepish to tell him the newest revelations, he had managed to coax it out of him. Lydia was engaged to a major in the British army. Caleb had watched him closely, expecting him to get angry, but Caleb didn't know one piece of the puzzle. One piece that complicated things. Ben had already married Lydia. They had been wed the day before he signed his commission. It had been Lydia's hair-brained idea that he allowed himself to go along with.

Women were still the property of their fathers until they had reached the age of twenty-one years. Their only option was to elope. So, they did. But their circumstances had been quite peculiar. Ben was in no position to take his wife with him. If he had been in Washington's camp that might have been an option. But he was not. He was with the Flying Camp, which was no place for a woman to stay. Lydia had no friends or family outside of Setauket that could take her in without alerting her father. Nor could she stay with someone else in Setauket. Judge Woodhull would surely find out and _legally_ marry Lydia off as soon as he could.

So, they had devised a plan for Lydia to remain in Setauket under her father's charge without anyone being the wiser about their situation. His father knew what they had done and surely he had told his wife. Ben was surprised he never received a letter from his father chastising him for the predicament he had put Lydia in. That letter never came. Only one carefully worded with a hearty congratulations, so that if the letter had been intercepted, no one would know why he was being congratulated. Beyond that, only two other people besides the man that married them knew of his marriage to Lydia. Unless Lydia had told someone else, but he had not breathed a word of their marriage to another soul. It was not that he did not want to. In fact, he would love nothing more than to parade around his wife. But to keep her safe, he knew he could not.

Lydia had convinced him that she would be fine in Setauket and that should it come to it, she would run away from her father's home, despite not having anywhere to go. Ben did not want that for her. He wanted her to remain safe and as far from the war as possible. This wasn't the life for a woman and certainly not for his wife. He also wanted Lydia to have a relationship with her father. He hated that he was the reason for the wedge between father and daughter. If only Judge Woodhull had not been so stubborn. If only he had given his blessing on an engagement when he had asked for Lydia's hand. Nothing seemed to ever go as Ben had planned.

From the onset, he had never intended to join the war. Ben had actually planned to go back to school, study the law, and study under Judge Woodhull, hoping that he might earn the man's favour that way. But instead, he had felt the calling to join the war effort, leaving behind his most precious treasure: Lydia. Although he was doing this for her...and for their future… and their children's future, should the good Lord bless them in that way. And Ben hoped that he did, just not quite yet. Not given the current state of their affairs.

Eventually, Ben reached the water's edge. He then began to search for Caleb's boat he kept hidden the shoreline. Every time Ben crossed the sound, he knew how dangerous of a position he was putting himself in. Should be caught in territory occupied by the British in his civilian clothes, he could be tried and hanged as a spy. That much he knew too well. It was the same fate that had been met by Nathan Hale. Nathan had been his roommate while they were at Yale and they had become close friends. Nathan had also joined the war effort before him, which led to his untimely demise. It pained Ben to think of Nathan. It was still too soon.

Ben found the skiff buried beneath a pile of brush. He cleared the brush away and pulled the skiff to the water. He pushed off from shore, headed for Setauket. Ben hoped that he did not come across anyone he knew. The only person he wanted to see was Lydia. She was the only person he intended to see this trip. It pained him to not see his father, but it was now his responsibility to care for Lydia. She was his wife and he had sworn an oath to her. A social call with his father would have to wait, especially if the predicament Caleb described was true.

The journey to Setauket thankfully proved uneventful. Ben hadn't even spotted anyone else attempting to cross the sound. Although, that was likely because crossing the sound was considered especially reckless with the war going on. Both sides patrolled the water and aimed to take prisoners, despite the fact that both sides claimed they did not approve of such actions. Ben had timed things just right to avoid either side patrolling his path to Setauket. Either that or the good Lord was looking down upon him with favour.

Ben made land in one of the coves used by Abe and Caleb, careful to cover the skiff with a pile of brush. He wanted to make sure that no one found the skiff and took off with it. Not only would Caleb be quite angry he had managed to lose it, but the consequences of being caught by either side were regrettable.

The sounds of leaves rustling came from behind him. Ben's hand reached for his gun as he turned, fearing the worst possible scenario. But it was only a woodland creature, a deer. Ben breathed a sigh of relief as the deer scampered away. He should have known it was only a deer, but he was already on edge as it was, fearing he could be caught. But Ben had one thing going for him that the British didn't, he grew up in Setauket and knew all the best routes about the place to remain free from prying eyes...or at least, he used to. It had been several years since he had officially called Setauket home, having spent most of his last years in Connecticut.

Ben then set out for Whitehall, to see his purpose of making the trip.

 _~*~ June 1776~*~_

 _The noonday sun beat down upon Benjamin Tallmadge as he walked along the dirt path in sleepy Setauket. The villagers he walked past, smiled and waved at him. Ben returned the gesture knowing that next time he returned to Setauket he might not be greeted so kindly. He had just arrived on a boat from New Haven not five minutes ago and he was headed for Whitehall. Ben had news for Lydia. News she deserved to know before anyone else because it could change everything they had carefully planned for years._

 _Ben walked by Strong Tavern. Selah Strong saw Ben through the window and waved for him to come inside. Ben paused. While he ought to set course straight for Lydia, an ale might prove useful for the task at hand. So, Ben went inside and had an ale in the company of Selah before he walked the familiar path to Whitehall._

 _While Ben would usually make sure a trek to Whitehall through the cover of the forest, he did not do so this time. He knew that Lydia's father was not home. If Judge Woodhull was anything, it was predictable when it came to his time away from home. It was that time of the month for the judge's excursion to York City. Although Lydia had mentioned the dates her father would be away in her last letter, in hopes that he might choose to make a trip to see her. Here he was, on his way to see her, but not for the reason she was going to expect._

 _As he continued down the path, Ben paused for a moment to stoop down and gather several wildflowers. They were yellow with a black center, the ones he and Lydia had used for years as a signal to each other. He looked down at the small bouquet in his hand before he picked a few more. Ben was going to need all the help he could get. He then stood and continued his trek to Whitehall._

 _Upon arrival at Whitehall, Ben placed the bouquet outside the door. He rapped twice on the door before he took off in a sprint around the corner of the house. He didn't want to take any chances of Lydia missing his signal. From around the corner of the house, Ben poked his head out to watch the door. A few seconds later it opened. It was Aberdeen who answered. Ben scowled because he had been hoping Lydia would answer the door. Last time, Aberdeen had swept away the flowers he had left. But much to Ben's surprise, Aberdeen glanced down and spotted the flowers._

 _Aberdeen looked curiously at the flowers before she turned back inside. "Miss Lydia," the woman called. "Someone gone and left you some flowers."_

 _Ben couldn't help but smile hearing Lydia thunder down the stairs, something she had done since she was a child when her father was not home. Some things never changed. He watched Lydia poke her head out the door. She looked beautiful. Then again, he always thought she looked beautiful. Lydia glanced down at the flowers and a smile quickly spread across her face. Ben tried to pull back so that she didn't see him, but he was not quick enough and she managed to catch a glimpse of him._

 _Lydia grinned as she shut the door behind her and sprinted toward him. Ben winked at Lydia before he ran for the trees. Lydia laughed and called his name as she ran after him. Ben kept running. He knew that she knew where he was running...their tree. While it wasn't the most appropriate thing to run-off into seclusion with a young woman, they had been doing it since their youth and Ben's intentions had always been honorable toward Lydia...well, mostly honorable. He always stopped himself from going too far. But now was a time when he needed Lydia to himself._

 _Ben easily reached their tree first. His legs were much longer and he was a faster runner. He stopped and leaned against the tree to catch his breath as Lydia managed to catch up to him. She was not far behind him. When Lydia reached the tree, she flung herself into Ben's arms and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Ben rested his head on the top of her head and inhaled her scent. He had missed this. He had missed her and he was going to miss her even more once he was gone. More than he had ever missed her before._

 _Lydia clung tightly to him, but Ben pulled back a bit. Lydia looked up at him in bewilderment. Ben tipped her chin up a little more before he crashed his lips onto hers hungrily. He was not sure how many more of her kisses he was going to get. He snaked his arms around her waist and held her tightly as he continued to kiss her. Lydia gasped for breath and she moved slightly back, but he captured her lips once more._

" _Benj," Lydia giggled, pulling her head away from him while still remaining in his arms. "What's gotten into you?"_

" _Nothing," Ben lied, but he knew immediately from Lydia's expression that she did not believe him. Ben sighed and brought his hand to her cheek. He stroked his thumb across her cheek, but he could tell that she was not going to be thwarted. Ben groaned and pulled his hand away. "It can wait, Lyddie."_

 _Lydia untangled herself from his arms and watched his reaction for a moment, trying to guess what news he could possibly bring. "It's serious, isn't it?" Lydia questioned with her hands on her hips. When Ben did not immediately respond, she started to chew her bottom lip-a sure sign that she was nervous. She scratched absently at her neck, taking a deep breath before she spoke once again. "Have-have you changed your mind? Is there-is there someone else?" Her voice quavered._

 _Ben looked at Lydia incredulously. "Do you truly think I would kiss you like that if there was someone else?"_

 _Lydia straightened her stance and pursed her lips, waiting for an answer. Ben rubbed his face in frustration. Lydia could be quite stubborn and yet he loved her anyway._

 _Ben closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulders despite her defensive posture. He looked her in the eyes. "Listen to me. You always have been and always will be the only one for me, Lydia Woodhull. I would swear it before God himself."_

 _Lydia curtly nodded his head, accepting his answer. "Then what is it you are not telling me?"_

" _Cannot we enjoy a moment or two first?" Ben groaned._

 _She shook her head. "You know I will spend the entirety of it fretting."_

 _Ben could not deny her assertion. He sighed before he removed his hands from her shoulders and turned away from her. He traced their initials on the tree. Of all the times he had rehearsed this moment in his head, it had not been this frustrating. Lydia gently placed a hand on his arm and turned him toward her._

" _Benj," she breathed looking up at him, her eyes shining like the sea. That nearly did him in._

" _Lyddie, you know that I love you…" he started. Lydia nodded her head knowingly. Ben's throat constricted. He prided himself on his way with words, but now they were failing him._

 _Lydia rubbed his arms. "Benj, please just tell me."_

 _Ben nodded his head. "Lyddie, I love you and I one day want to be able to provide for you. But I want to do that in a country where we are free to live our lives as we please. I do not want our children thinking I stood by idly frittering my time. I want a better country for them...and for you. Lydia, I am signing a commission in the Continental Army. Do not try to dissuade me. I have already made up my mind and made the necessary arrangements."_

 _Lydia pursed her lips. Ben could tell that she was trying to keep a brave face while processing his words. It was a lot to process. This could derail their perfectly laid plans. Ben had promised her that he would win her father's favor and they would marry. But this could and likely would change everything._

 _Ben watched Lydia, trying to read her thoughts, but he could not for the life of him figure out what she was thinking. He needed her to say something. Anything. "Lydia, say something," Ben pleaded._

 _Her brow furrowed. A sign that she was deep in thought. Ben knew Lydia almost better than he knew himself. He only known her almost all her life and corresponded with her for years. "When do you sign on?" she finally asked._

 _Ben took a deep breath. She was not going to like his answer. "At week's end."_

 _Lydia did not seem all that surprised by his answer and that shocked him. Instead, she took a deep breath and then nodded her head. "That's enough time for us to be wed."_

 _Ben's eyes widened in disbelief. Had she really just suggested what he thought she had suggested. "Come again?" The words stumbled out of his mouth. She could not have seriously proposed what he thought she had proposed. Quite literally._

 _Lydia arched an eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips. That was not a good sign for him. That was her fighting stance. "I'm positively certain you heard me, Benjamin Tallmadge."_

 _Ben blinked slowly before he dropped his voice to no more than a whisper. "Wed? Even if we wanted to, there's hardly sufficient time for…" Lydia placed a finger on his lips, silencing him._

 _Lydia looked at him sternly, a look he rarely ever received from her. He could tell that the words that were about to come from her mouth were going to be carefully crafted and quite serious. "You promised me we would be wed by my birthday, Benjamin."_

 _His heart panged. He had promised her that, but he had a different plan for his life at that point. He had fully intended on studying the law and allowing Richard Woodhull to get to know him better, to prove that he was worthy of his daughter's hand. But then the war broke out and that changed everything. Ben sighed. "That was when I thought I had a chance at winning your father's favour."_

" _So, you no longer intend on keeping your promise?" Lydia arched an eyebrow at him. She was twisting his words against him. She had known for quite some time that he had every intention of marrying her._

 _Ben rolled his eyes. "You know that isn't true, Lydia. I wish more than anything for you to be my wife but…"_

" _But what?" She stood a little taller, daring him. He knew what she was doing, but after everything she deserved an explanation from him. Ben stared at her for a moment. She looked quite beautiful all worked up like that. Then again, he always thought she looked beautiful._

 _But Ben cleared his throat. "Say we do marry. It will hardly be legal. In fact, without your father's permission, it will not be. You are not yet of age."_

" _Then we elope." Lydia was stubborn. That was one thing he loved about her. She always had been. But eloping was serious business, especially for a woman._

" _Your father will disown you. I know you two have your disagreements, but I know you enough to know that you do not want that." Ben knew that Lydia loved her father despite everything. Nor would Ben care to take Lydia away from Judge Woodhull. That could be very dangerous for him. Judge Woodhull was a very powerful man with many connections and could very easily make his life miserable._

 _If he had wanted to further explain, Ben should not have looked at Lydia because she was ready with the words that made his heart sing and nearly forget his concern. "What I want is you, Benj." Lydia looked up at him innocently, blinking. He could tell that her words were sincere._

 _But he had to find a way to reason with her. He took hold of her hand and placed it over his heart. "You have me."_

 _Lydia paused. Her eyes got misty and she swallowed hard. "What if you die? You really want to go to your grave knowing you did not marry me when you had the chance?"_

 _She had aimed another arrow straight for his heart. He wanted more than anything to cave to her desire, steal her away and marry her that second. But his head told him he had to continue to try to make her see reason. "Say we do marry, Lydia. What then? Where will you go? You could hardly stay here in Setauket, your father would surely annul the marriage and marry you off before I might even see you again."_

 _Lydia removed her hand from his and folded her arms across her chest. "I could go with you." It was clear that Lydia was willing to go to great lengths for him, but he could not...would not subject her to the hardships of war. It was going to be hard enough for her as it was. Where he was going was no place for her. Not if he wanted her to be safe._

 _Ben shook his head. "No. I'm not even sure yet which camp to which I'll be assigned. And even if I was assigned to a camp with women camp followers, I would never subject my wife to that."_

" _You'll be an officer, will you not?  
_

" _Yes, but…"_

" _Officer's wives are treated differently better even, are they not?" While it was true that officer's wives were privy to much more comforts than normal camp followers, they normally only came to camp when the army settled down for the winter._

" _Lydia…" Ben groaned before continuing. He wanted more than anything to tell her yes and it was clear that she was not going to give up until he had. But he could not do that to her. "And what of the marriage license? Your father is a magistrate. Surely he will find it and annul it."_

" _Then let's marry in Connecticut, it is not too far from here. He will never find the license there. By the time he does find it, I'm praying I'm of age and he cannot do anything."_

 _Ben sighed. "You have this all figured out, don't you?" He did not even bring up the fact that it could be weeks for them to be married if they went about things properly. He was already beginning to cave to Lydia's will._

 _Lydia cupped her hands around Ben's cheeks. "I want to be your wife, Benjamin. I think the question is do you want to be my husband?"_

 _Ben rested his hands on Lydia's and rubbed his cheeks against her hands. "More than anything, Lydia. More than anything." That was truth. Benjamin Tallmadge loved Lydia Woodhull more than anything else in the world. He had for some time._

 _Lydia smiled softly. "Then say you'll marry me, Benjamin Tallmadge. Just say you will marry me. The details can be sorted out later."_

 _Ben opened his mouth to argue against her, but he could not find the willpower to do so. Instead, he gently pressed his lips against Lydia's. He could not fight her on the subject anymore. Not when he wanted what she wanted more than anything. He had to make what they wanted possible._

~*~ November 1776~*~

Ben took the long way to Whitehall through the trees. He needed to stay hidden from the British army which was being quartered in Setauket. When he spotted Whitehall, his heart began to beat wildly. While he regretted the situation, he was happy to be seeing Lydia. He missed Lydia every day. He hated being parted from her. Their correspondence was hardly enough for him. While it kept him satisfied enough know that he was in her thoughts, there were times when a fleeting thought of desertion tempted him.

From his vantage point, Ben watched Whitehall for any movement or soldiers. From what Ben could see, there were no soldiers guarding Whitehall. The major who resided with the Woodhulls must not be there. Ben certainly hoped the man had the decency to take temporary leave if he was to be alone with a young woman. Not only did Ben hate the thought of a man alone in a house with Lydia, but it was highly indecent. Surely the man had better sense than that.

The door opened and Ben quickly shifted so that he was hidden from view, but he watched the door carefully. It was Aberdeen crossing the threshold. She was dressed in a traveling cloak and carrying a basket. Ben smiled softly. Lydia always gave Aberdeen time off when her father left for York City. Lydia and Aberdeen had come to an agreement that she would be allowed to stay with her sister at Strong Manor when Richard was gone. Of course, he knew Lydia had arranged it with Anna.

When Aberdeen was well on the road toward Strong Manor, Ben reached into his boot and pulled out two small yellow flowers. He had been sure to press them in his the journal he kept on him, just in case he might need them for an occasion such as this. Slowly, Ben stepped out into the open. He stopped for a moment to make sure no one had spotted him. Then he ran to the door, set the two small flowers just outside the door. He rapped sharply three times before he ran for cover again in the woods.

With bated breath, Ben watched the door carefully, waiting for his beloved to make an appearance. A few moments later, the door opened once again. It was Lydia. She was dressed in a blue gown that he was certain brought out the blue of her eyes. The thought made him smile. Ben watched as Lydia looked about in confusion for a moment before her eyes cast downward. She spotted the flowers. Her eyes widened and her hand went to her heart as a soft smile spread across her face. Ben could not help but smile at seeing her smile.

Ben did not stay to watch her look around for him. Instead, he headed to their tree where they should be safe from prying eyes. Ben did not want the major unexpectedly dropping by Whitehall and finding him. He knew Lydia would know to meet him there. She always did.

He was able to catch his breath by the time he spotted Lydia nearing him. Although, seeing her sent his heart racing. It always did. For a moment, Ben wondered if it would always be like that when he saw her. He hoped it would.

Draped in a dark blue cloak, Lydia approached him. Ben held his hand out toward and and she grasped it tightly. He slowly drew her toward him, resting his other hand on her waist. Lydia's free hand went to his cheek. For a moment, the pair just looked at each other hoping their expressions were speaking volumes given the lack of words between them. Lydia opened her mouth to say something. Ben watched as her bottom lip trembled. He raised the hand that was on her waist and gently brushed it against her lip. She inhaled sharply from his touch.

Ben's lips gently captured hers in a kiss which she eagerly returned. Lydia's hand that had once rested on his cheek, had found its way to his hair. She wove her fingers through his hair and clung tightly. Ben groaned in reaction, which made Lydia giggle. She kissed him once more and then pulled away to look up at him. "Good day, Benjamin," Lydia giggled again.

"Good day, Lydia, on this, your natal Day," Ben responded before placing one more kiss on Lydia's cheek. She sighed and leaned into him as he did it.

"It is certainly good now that you are here," Lydia smiled as she rested her head on Ben's chest.

Ben softly smiled as he rested his chin on Lydia's head. He closed his eyes, fully intending on enjoying this moment with her. It was moments like this that got him threw the worst moments. His desire to see Lydia again was what had gotten him through that skirmish with Robert Rogers and his rangers.

Lydia pulled her cloak from her head, revealing her fiery colored hair. She smiled up at him. "Do you like my new cloak?" she asked him. "Mary made it for me. She visited me first thing this morning with Thomas for my birthday."

Ben gave a quick nod before he asked. "How is Mary?" He had never met Abraham's wife. He had heard about her, mostly from Lydia's letters. From what he had gathered, she seemed nice enough, but her also knew, from what Lydia told him, that Mary and her family were staunch supporters of the crown.

But Ben was glad that Mary had visited Lydia on her birthday. Richard always left for York City. He knew, from watching his father, that losing one's wife was difficult; but he knew that Lydia took it especially hard. Her father had never celebrated a birthday with her. It was almost as if the day did not exist to him, aside from the gift Ben knew he left his daughter every year.

This year, Ben had nothing to offer Lydia but himself and a little birthday poem he had written for her. It was all he had this year. But he had a feeling that she was happy enough simply to see him.

"I prayed you would come," Lydia said softly as she played with his hand in hers. "But I dared not hope you would make it, especially after the last time you were home. How did you manage it?"

"One of Caleb's hair-brained ideas," Ben responded.

Lydia paled slightly at the mention of Caleb and entangled her hand from Ben's. She pursed her lips and scrutinized him for a moment before she sighed. "He told you, didn't he?"

"Told me what?" Ben asked. It was true, he did know; but he wanted to hear it from her.

"Don't make me say it," Lydia groaned. "I had no other choice, Benj. Please understand, it was either enter into an long engagement with Major Andre or find myself married to Colonel Cooke by Christmas."

Ben folded his arms across her. "You cannot marry him," he responded stubbornly.

"I _know_ that, Benjamin," Lydia argued in exasperation, rolling her eyes.

"You cannot marry him, because you are already married to me."

 _~*~ June 1776~*~_

 _For the second time that day, Ben approached Whitehall. Only this time, it was the dead of night and he only had the moonlight to guide him. He had gone to visit his father. Thank the Lord he had. His father had been able to advise him on the situation. Then he paid Selah Strong another visit which also proved helpful. Now to see Lydia._

 _His heart beat rapidly as he stood outside the window to Lydia's bedroom with pebbles in his hand. Ben could not help but smile remembering all the times he had done this when he was younger. He knew it was hardly appropriate to call in such a fashion, but for Lydia he would do anything. Ben started to toss pebbles at her window. He was so nervous the first one missed and landed on the roof. WIth the next few pebbles, his aim improved and gently hit the window._

 _Tap._

 _Tap._

 _Tap._

 _Lydia's window opened, making his heart seem to race even faster. She poked her head out the window and looked down at him. GIven her expression, she must have been asleep, or nearly asleep; but Ben still found her beautiful._

" _Benj?" Lydia asked with her brow furrowed. She yawned and rubbed her eyes._

" _Aye," Ben called back to her._

" _What-what are you doing here?" She yawned again and Ben could not help but smile at her._

" _To tell you that Anna will be here shortly to help you ready yourself."_

" _Ready for what?"_

 _Ben smiled softly. "To marry me. Assuming that is still what you want."_

 _Lydia's eyes widened. "Of course, but I thought you said…"_

" _You trust me, do you not?" Ben knew that she trusted him. He was teasing her. He could not help himself, especially not when she was in this state and he was exceedingly glad._

 _Lydia folded her arms across her chest and childishly scoffed. "Of course I trust you."_

 _Ben's smile grew in size. "I have it all figured, Lydia. I promise. Although I must confess I cannot take full credit. Selah and my father helped me piece it together."_

 _Her brow furrowed. "Benj, what are you talking about?"_

 _Ben chuckled at Lydia's state of confusion. "You'll find out soon enough, my love. Make haste once Anna arrives." With that, Ben took off in a sprint toward the trees similar to that of a young schoolboy, for that was how he felt. A young schoolboy about to be married._

 _Ben nervously waited with Selah Strong at his side outside Strong Tavern, which had closed early that evening. What if Lydia did not come? What if Anna came and said that Lydia had changed her mind? While Ben knew that possibility to be highly unlikely, he could not push the thought from his mind. Even in the darkness, Selah must have noticed how nervous he was._

 _Selah laughed heartily and slapped a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Nervous, Tallmadge?" he chuckled. "I would be worried if you were not. I was the same before marrying my Anna."_

 _While Ben still found it odd to hear Selah refer to Anna as his, the sentiment was appreciated. Ben offered Selah a smile despite the darkness surrounding them. Thankfully, it was but a few minutes longer before Anna and Lydia appeared._

" _Will someone please better explain to me what is happening?" Lydia whispered, clutching her cloak. Ben did not answer. He was too occupied looking at how the moon framed her face._

 _Selah grinned and playfully punched Ben in the shoulder before he responded to Lydia's question. "Ever heard of Montrose, Connecticut?, Lydia?"_

" _No," Lydia responded, folding her arms across her chest.. "Why?"_

" _You'll be thankful for its existence soon enough."_

" _Why is that?"_

" _The Scottish established Montrose as a colony."_

" _From what I recall, all the colonies belong to England."_

 _Selah smirked. "Not according to the good people of Montrose. They still consider themselves subject to Scottish law."_

" _Why the history lesson?"_

" _Selah, just tell her already," Anna groaned, clearly not amused by Selah's antics._

" _Because Scotland's marriage laws are not the same as England's and Reverend Tallmadge happens to know the reverend in Montrose."_

" _It's true, Lyddie," Ben said finally managing to find his voice. He closed the distance between himself and Lydia, taking her hands in his and drawing her close. "For a small price and a worthy plight, Reverend Morrison will marry a couple that makes declarations in front of witnesses. Father has written him a letter explaining our situation."_

 _Lydia looked over her shoulder and then back to Ben. "Why involve Selah and Anna?" she whispered to him._

 _Ben glanced at Selah and then down at his feet. Selah had offered to pay the price to have the banns read quickly. While Ben had money, he had invested most of it to hopefully one day have enough to support Lydia and a family. Ben shifted uncomfortably and opened his mouth to respond to Lydia, but he was interrupted._

" _You need witnesses, Lydia. Selah and I thought it would be appropriate given the circumstances," Anna answered, having heard Lydia's question to Ben. Anna knew the true reason she and Selah were coming, but that did not stop the Strongs from being any less happy for their friends. For that is what the couples were, friends. "Now then, we shall need to make haste if we are to reach Montrose by morning."_

 _Ben felt Lydia's grip on him tighten. He looked down at her, she looked so hopeful. That was all the reassurance Ben needed. He smiled and wanted to kiss her terribly, but not right there in front of Selah and Anna. Lydia must have understood because she looked up at him with an expression he could hardly keep himself from doing exactly what he wanted._

" _We can spare a moment," Anna said shaking her head at the couple. Selah and I will meet you at the boat. "Only a moment," she warned before taking hold of Selah's arm. The Strongs disappeared giving Ben and Lydia a moment._

" _I can hardly believe our good fortune," Lydia whispered._

" _It is not ours yet, Lyddie," Ben whispered back._

" _It will be." With that, Lydia taller on her toes and reached up to kiss Ben._

 _Ben willingly obliged, kissing her back. When the kiss ended, Ben held his arm out for Lydia to take and he led her to the boat that would take them to Connecticut. Selah had paid for someone to take them. Ben appreciated Selah Strong's kindness and would make certain that Selah was repaid in full. For Selah had also made another promise to Ben, one that he had yet to reveal to Lydia._

 _Upon arrival in Montrose and dawn, Ben, Lydia, Selah, and Anna sought out the home of Reverend Morrison. Montrose was no bigger than Setauket, so it was not particularly difficult once a neighbour pointed them in the right direction. Ben grew nervous as they approached the home. He knew it was his duty to approach the reverend, but he still felt like a schoolboy about to be reprimanded. Having grown up the son of a reverend, he knew that they expected people at all hours; but he could not help but feel that the reverend might turn down his request. He could not help but feel he should have taken more time to think things through, rather than let the amber liquid taint his judgment._

 _It was too late to turn back now. Reverend Morrison must have spotted them through the window because he opened the door and stepped onto his stoop. "Good morning, I'm Reverend William Morrison, how may help you?" the man greeted. The man's hair was a little whiter than his father had described, but it had also been many years since Ben's father had seen the man._

 _Ben cleared his throat. He walked toward the man and extended his hand. "I'm Benjamin Tallmadge of Setauket, sir."_

 _The good reverend shook Ben's hand. "Tallmadge? Setauket? I once knew a Nathaniel Tallmadge. He and I were roommates and good friends during our time at Yale. You would happen to be a relation of him, would you?"_

 _Feeling more at ease, Ben smiled. "My father, sir."_

 _Reverend Morrison chucked and shook Ben's hand once more. "How is Nathaniel? I am afraid to say we have not corresponded much recently...given everything that has happened."_

" _He is well, sir." Ben then reached into his boot and pulled out a letter. "He sends this along with his best regards." He handed the letter to Reverend Morrison._

 _The reverend clutched the sealed letter in his hand. "Do you know the contents of this letter, young man?" he asked._

 _Ben nodded his head. "Aye, sir." He looked back at Lydia who stood with Anna and Selah. She took that as her opportunity to join him. She moved beside him and gently held onto his arm. Ben cleared his throat. "Well, you see, sir…"_

 _Reverend Morrison held his hand up to stop them. "Say no more. I think I understand why you have sought me out, you have come to be married. I assume the lady is under age according to English law."_

" _My-my father's letter explains…" Ben started, but the reverend stopped him once more._

" _Not many know the traditions of Montrose, but it appears you do."_

 _Ben inhaled sharply and nodded his head. "Aye, sir."_

 _The reverend seemed to grow much more solemn, which made Ben worry. "I must go fetch my wife. We must first determine if your intentions are pure before we can move forward." Reverend Morrison then disappeared into his home._

 _Lydia and Ben exchanged worried glances, but they were much at the disposal of the reverend. They had no choice but to do as the man asked. When Reverend Morrison returned several minutes later, his wife was at his side. "This is my wife, Keturah. She will meet with the ladies inside," the reverend said. "I'll meet with you in the barn, Benjamin."_

 _Lydia squeezed Ben's arm before she walked toward the house. Ben could not help but think she was like a lamb led to slaughter. He watched as she lifted her petticoats to climb the stairs. On the stoop, she looked over and her shoulder at him and smiled. Ben smiled back, he could not help it. She did that to him. Every time. He was too busy looking at Lydia that he missed the reverend softly smiling at the exchange. Ben did not already know it, but the reverend had already been swayed but that simple interaction._

 _Anna followed Lydia into the house. Missus Morrison smiled at her husband before she shut the door. Ben swallowed hard as the revered motioned for Ben and Selah to follow him to the barn. They did. Selah gave Ben's shoulder a good-natured slap for good measure. "Now you ought to be nervous, Tallmadge," Selah chuckled._

 _Ben attempted a chuckle, but it came out more of a grunt. Before he entered the barn, Ben took one last glance at the house. He found the women gathered around a window watching them. Lydia waved at him and he smiled before he disappeared into the barn, out of sight and earshot from the women._

" _So, the magistrate daughter then?" Reverend Morrison asked. "I see why it is you sought me out."_

 _Ben's brow furrowed. "How did you know that?"_

 _Reverend Morrison chuckled. "I read your father's letter, son. You and Miss Woodhull do have quite the predicament."_

" _Aye, sir."_

" _And it appears you will soon be signing a commission with Washington's army."_

" _Aye, sir." Ben could not be sure which side of the war the reverend fell on. So, Ben stood a little taller, as an officer would. He would be an officer soon, he should act like an officer._

 _The reverend took note of this. "Keturah is a relation of Missus Washington," Revered Morrison offered. Ben seemed to slightly relax at the mention of this. "Why is it you wish to marry, Miss Woodhull?" he asked Ben._

 _Selah leaned against a post and folded his arms across his chest. "Do tell us, Tallmadge," Selah said with a smirk._

 _Ben softly smiled and shook his head. "I suppose you will require more than because I love her more than I love anything else in this world?" Ben made eye contact with the reverend._

 _Reverend Morrison nodded his head with a small smile on his face. "The more you can say, the easier it is for me to make my decision."_

" _Thought so," Ben chuckled, feeling a little more relaxed. Talking about Lydia was always easy. He inhaled slowly before starting. "Lydia never knew her mother. My mother, always having wanted a daughter, but blessed with sons instead saw to it to help guide Lydia. Mother would always tell my brothers and I that one of us were going to marry her. I took mother's words to heart at an early age. I would watch through the window as mother trained Lydia. I always thought she looked beautiful, even when a task frustrated her. But I was Abraham's friend. He's her brother. They didn't get on very well as children."_

 _Ben paused and chuckled, remembering his childhood. "They still don't. But, she would look at me with those big blue eyes to intervene on her behalf. I couldn't ignore her. I couldn't. I always helped her. And then my mother died. Lydia was the one to find me." Ben smiled. "I don't know that I would have gotten through that without her."_

 _Ben sighed. "I do not know that I can point to a specific moment when it all changed, Reverend. Looking back on it, I have always loved Lydia Woodhull. She frustrates me, but makes me exceedingly happy. She is stubborn, but always willing to help. She makes me laugh. She makes me nearly lose control of all my senses."_

 _The Reverend smiled softly. "Why are you here, Benjamin?"_

 _Ben shifted his stance and folded his arms across his chest defensively. "Our fathers used to be friends before everyone started taking sides on matters of the Crown and freedom. I thought surely Judge Woodhull would overlook all that to see that I loved his daughter and I could provide for her needs. I asked for her hand once before I graduated Yale. He refused me and did not even bother considering my request. I was going to take up the law under him to try and gain his favour, but I find myself being called to serve our country."_

" _Why marry now?"_

" _That would be Lydia's idea," Ben chuckled. "I told you, I nearly lose all my senses where she is concerned." He then sighed. "She is worried that I might die."_

" _A real possibility," Reverend Morrison mused._

 _Ben nodded his head. "But more than that, she is scared her father will try to marry her off. You see, sir, Judge Woodhull-he-he thinks that Lydia and I abandoned things after my failed proposal. We couldn't. While I would like to think that Judge Woodhull would not force his daughter into a marriage simply for social standing, I know him to be exactly that sort of man. Lydia will turn nineteen in November, more than enough time for Judge Woodhull to execute something of this fashion. I love Lydia too much to see her wed to someone she does not love. If I knew Lydia could love her father's choice, then I would not be here, sir. Rumors are he has some contacts in York City, nearly old enough to be her father, he is considering. I could not allow that to happen to her. She deserves to marry for love and for some reason, she happens to love a cad like me. And for that I thank God every day."_

 _The revered mulled over Ben's words before he asked, quite unexpectedly. "Have you remained chaste?"_

 _Ben coughed in surprise. Those were not the words he was anticipating from the reverend. Ben blushed furiously when he noticed those words had piqued Selah's interest. Selah was grinning at Ben, waiting in expectation for his answer. "My intentions toward Lydia had always been honorable."_

 _The reverend arched an eyebrow. "That does not answer my question, son."_

" _I-I've kissed her, sir," Ben answered nervously, fidgeting with his hands. "But nothing more, sir." Ben could not make eye contact with neither Selah nor Reverend Morrison._

 _After several moments of silence, which seemed like an eternity to Ben, the reverend said, "I must confer with my wife. You two wait out here." With that Reverend Morrison left the barn and walked back toward his house._

 _Ben felt both relieved and nervous. His father had not mentioned anything of this sort. He had never heard of a couple being interrogated to be wed. Was this what they did in Scotland? Ben could not be sure, but he did not recall hearing such tales like this from Gretna Green. He sighed and looked to find Selah smirking at him. "What?" he asked._

 _Selah chuckled. "I would have thought that you and Lydia would have…"_

" _I'm the minister's son and she's the magistrate's daughter. Our reputations likely would have been ruined. I could not do that to her."_

" _But you likely would have been married by now," Selah said with a shrug before laughing._

 _To his surprise, Ben started laughing as well. He had been so worried about doing things the proper way that he had failed to see what would have been an easier path. Had his intentions toward Lydia not always been so honorable and he had defiled her and gotten her pregnant, Judge Woodhull would have had little choice but to accept his offer of marriage._

 _Reverend Morrison eventually came back and beckoned Ben and Selah to the house without word on his decision. The Setauket boys followed the reverend quietly into the house to find Lydia and Anna seated at the table, each with a cup of tea. Ben looked at Lydia for a sign on how things had gone for her. Lydia made brief eye contact with Ben, before she quickly blushed a fiery red, that nearly matched her hair colour, and looked away from him._

 _Missus Morrison gestured for Selah and Ben to have a seat at the table. They did as the older woman said. Reverend Morrison took a chair at the head of the table and Missus Morrison sat across the table from him. The reverend cleared his throat._

" _You must understand that the people of Montrose do not wish to become another Gretna Green. They fear if the British were to find out, our way of life would be lost. My wife and I undertake the great responsibility to take the time to understand each couple's plight to see if they are truly in need of our ways and that their intentions are pure. My wife and I have determined that Benjamin and Lydia are truly in need of our assistance. I will join the two of you in matrimony on one condition."_

 _Ben and Lydia looked at each other with smiles on their faces. They then nodded their heads, both of them willing to agree to anything to be wed._

" _You must promise to keep Montrose's traditions a secret and you may only break that oath should you see a couple with needs similar to those of your own."_

 _Both Ben and Lydia eagerly agreed to this._

" _Now, while I could wed you today, Keturah and I wish to ask you to hold off until tomorrow. We would like to celebrate such a happy occasion with you and ask that you give us today to prepare. We do understand if you decline the offer, but Benjamin you're as good as family, and we would like to treat you and Lydia as such."_

 _Ben looked at Lydia. She was already giving up so much for him. The least he could do would be to give her a decent wedding, especially since Judge Woodhull had no idea they had run off. Ben then looked back at Selah and Anna. Would they agree to stay one more day in Montrose. Both Selah and Anna nodded their heads. They would wait until the morrow for Ben and Lydia to be married._

 _So that was how the next day Benjamin Tallmadge and Lydia Woodhull were united in matrimony. Tears welled in Ben's eyes as he pledged his life to Lydia and she pledged her life to Ben. There was not a dry eye in the small church. Even Reverend Morrison's eyes misted._

 _Selah handed Ben the wedding ring that had belonged to Ben's mother. Ben's father had given it to him upon his last visit. The small silver ring had always been intended for Lydia and even on her death bed, Susannah Tallmadge had expressed has much. Lydia smiled and blinked back tears of joy as he slid the ring onto her finger._

" _With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."_

 _With those words, Benjamin Tallmadge and Lydia Woodhull were united in matrimony._

~*~ November 1776~*~

"Do you truly think I would forget such a thing?" Lydia asked. She shoved her hand through her petticoats and into her pocket. She pulled out a small leather pouch before fishing out the small silver band. She clutched it tightly in her hand and put it over her heart. With her other hand she placed one of Ben's hands on top of hers. Lydia then repeated the vow Ben had made to her. "With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."

Ben smiled. He gently grasped Lydia's hand and took the ring with his other hand. He then gestured for her to hold her hand out. Ben then placed the ring back on her finger, just like he had that glorious day in June. Ben then leaned in and kissed her. He always wanted to kiss her. Even when he was cross with her. He hardly ever stood a chance when arguing with her. Ben broke away from her and leaned against the tree, still holding onto her with one hand. "So, Missus Tallmadge, what is your plan this time?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, don't you act like this, Benjamin" Lydia chided rather crossly. "You're the one who insisted that I stay in Setauket under my father's roof. I was only doing the best I could given the circumstances."

Ben was somewhat surprised by her rebuff, but he did not want to argue with her on her birthday. "I'm sorry," he apologised. "I never intended for this to happen as it has. I truly thought you would be safer here. Although, to be fair I still think you are safer here."

Lydia sighed and leaned against Ben. "I know that," she whispered to him. "And an engagement to Andre keeps me safe here in Setauket and from my father for the foreseeable future. Major Andre is in York City, which I intend to stay far away from. For now, an engagement is enough for my father."

"Tell me about him...your fiance."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Do not call him that," she groaned.

"Why not? Is that not what everyone thinks he is?"

"It is," she agreed rather reluctantly grabbing his hand. She ran her fingers up and down Ben's hand before clutching it. She looked him in the eye. "But you are my husband and I do not wish for you to call him such. Surely you must know that this is all for you-for us. It was the only way I could reason to keep us safe."

"I know," Ben sighed. "Although, I must confess that I was surprised to have to learn of your engagement from Caleb Brewster."

Lydia frowned. "Only because Caleb does not know where to keep his mouth shut as far as you're concerned. I was hoping you would come to Setauket for my birthday so I might explain things. But Caleb had to beat me to it."

"He's loyal," Ben laughed. "He was only trying to protect me from having my heart broken."

"I hate not being able to tell anyone."

"It is safer for you this way."

"I know. Honestly, I would have told Caleb about us if Abraham had not been there. I do not know if I can trust Abe with such information."

"Abe is my friend and your brother, Lydia. I think we can trust him, especially after everything he is doing for the ring."

"Reluctantly doing, I might add. I fear a time when Abraham grows conflicted with his position and turns."

"And if such a time comes, I will be here. Send word and I will come remind him of the cause he is fighting for." Ben then rested his hand on Lydia's cheek. "Now, tell me about this Andre cad. I would like to know about the man miserably failing to garner my wife's attention."

Lydia chewed her bottom lip, pondering what to tell Ben. From that gesture, Ben could tell there was something she had not yet revealed to him. "He's an officer in the Royal army stationed in York City," Lydia started slowly. She inhaled slowly. "He is also, head of gathering intelligence…" Lydia paused and waited for Ben's reaction.

Ben reacted just about as Lydia had predicted. His eyes widened. He cocked his head and then furrowed his brow. He knew her well enough to begin to piece together the plan Lydia had somehow managed to orchestrate. "You said that he was willing to enter into a long engagement with you. Most men would be insane to enter into such an agreement...or offered something in exchange. Which is it, Lydia?"

Lydia held his gaze, refusing to show him weakness. She inhaled sharply before responding, "He asked that I correspond with him..." Ben's look told her to keep going. "And should I find myself with information he might find valuable, to relay that to him."

Ben looked at his wife in disbelief. "You're telling me that not only is my wife gathering information for the Continentals, despite being told not to...she is now doing the same for the British?"

"Of course not, Benjamin," Lydia chided gently pushing herself away from Ben. "I would not do that, not to you. I told him that I was likely never to hear anything of value in Setauket. Although, I must say that Major Andre does not seem adverse to allowing women to help a cause. It's quite clever, really."

"I thought I might feed him information that appeared to be true to gain his trust."

"That is treason, Lydia."

"Not exactly. Not if you know about it. I was thinking that you could set some place up to look like it belonged to the Continentals. Let them capture it. And then once he fully trusts me, we can use that information to our advantage? A surprise attack…"

"So, my wife is a general now?" Ben was practically seething with anger. He clenched his fist tightly. "This is not your place, Lydia."

Lydia folded her arms across her chest with a pout on her face. "It was not my intent to anger you," Lydia said choosing her words very carefully. "I only thought that since I am forced into this engagement, I wanted to be of use to you...and the cause."

Ben sighed. "You are of use to me, Lydia. As my wife. I could not live with myself going back to the fight knowing that you are throwing yourself into harm's way."

But Lydia was stubborn. "So Anna can help, but I cannot?"

"Anna hangs petticoats, Lydia."

"I want to help, Ben. I am your wife. It is my duty to help you."

"You do help me, Lydia." Ben reached out and took hold of Lydia's hand. He rubbed his cheek against your hand. "Knowing you are alive is what keeps me alive. It already has and is the reason I am standing in front of you now. While I agree that the war is not a woman's place, keeping you out of it has more to do with you being my wife than a woman."

"That hardly makes sense, Ben. I must be a woman to be your wife." Ben could tell that her resolve was beginning to melt. She had not raised her voice. Instead her response had been soft, hardly above a whisper and his cheek was still cradled by her hand.

"You do not see me coming back to reprimand Anna, do you?" Ben asked. Lydia sighed. "Please, let us not quarrel. My intent of returning to Setauket was not to quarrel."

"How long are you planning on staying?" Lydia asked stroking Ben's cheek with her fingers, not wanting to spend any time she had with Ben continuing to quarrel. They would have to agree to disagree for the moment. For now, she just wanted her husband.

"I should be gone by first light," Ben responded. "Caleb risked a lot to give me a chance to visit Setauket. I do not want to cause him any harm."

"Will you come to Whitehall for dinner, Captain Tallmadge?" Lydia asked lightly. "Aberdeen already prepared the food and I made your mother's pastries. There's no need to fret about Major Hewlett because he has taken temporary residence at Strong Manor while Father is away."

"If you'll have me, Missus Tallmadge" Ben said offering a sly smile. It always made him smile to see Lydia shiver whenever he called her Missus Tallmadge. The name suited her. He had always thought that, even as a child when he would whisper Lydia Tallmadge to himself.

"I suppose I will see you later tonight then," Lydia said, removing her hand from Ben's face. Ben's brow furrowed. Then Lydia's brow did the same. "Are you not going to visit your father?"

"No, my love," Ben responded, reaching out for the hand Lydia had removed. "I am entirely yours this trip."

"Entirely?" Lydia asked arching an eyebrow with a small smirk on her face.

"Entirely and ardently yours."

Ben saw a smile spread across Lydia's lips, so he leaned to kiss her once again. Lydia clung tightly to him as they kissed, making up for the lost kisses the past months and years. After several heated kisses, they broke apart breathing heavily. They were still very much newlyweds, perhaps even worse given the fact they had been kept apart for so long.

Offering Lydia his arm, Ben led Lydia to Whitehall through the trees for they needed to keep out of eyesight, especially from the British. They could not be caught.

Ben found spending time with Lydia at Whitehall quite natural. One day, a life like this would be theirs, he hoped. Just not quite yet. Ben could tell that having him around made Lydia nervous. Lydia brought him a book to read aloud, which she dropped several times as she walked toward him. Seeing her like this made him smile.

He drew her into his lap as he he read to her. She rested her head against his shoulder, her body practically melting against his. He could not help but react to having her this close. After he finished the first chapter, he put the book down and passionately kissed his wife. Ben was about to suggest they go elsewhere when his stomach rumbled.

Lydia broke the kiss and looked at him with concern. "When did you last eat?" she questioned.

"I'm fine, Lydia," Ben said going in for another kiss.

But Lydia shook her head and pressed her hand against his chest to stop him. "I will not allow my husband to go hungry if I can help it," she mildly chastised him. "I'll go ready the plates now." Lydia then stood up and left the sitting room.

Ben groaned and threw his head back against the chair. He had been practicing restraint for too long now, he was not sure how much more restraint he could handle, especially when there was little reason for the restraint. But Ben knew she was right. He had not had a proper meal in quite some time.

Once Lydia had the table set, she called Ben over. Ben sat down at the head of the table and Lydia sat to his right. Aberdeen had made pork and potatoes for dinner. Ben spotted a basket with Lydia's turnovers too. Ben held his hand out for Lydia to take, so he could give thanks to the Lord. She placed her hand in his and he thanked God for the food and for the time he had given them to spend together.

Lydia made sure Ben ate more than his fill of dinner after he commented that it had been some time since he had seen a meal such as the one spread before them. But Ben made sure to save some room for Lydia's pastries. They truly tasted like the pastries his mother would make him as a child. Lydia beamed with pride when he told her so.

When Lydia saw that Ben was done, she stood up to clear the plates away. As she was reaching for Ben's plate, Ben stood up and caught her in his arms. He nuzzled his face against her neck. He could feel her shiver from his touch.

"Shall we retire for the evening, Missus Tallmadge?" Ben asked, holding Lydia from behind and pressing kisses against her neck. It was still quite early to retire, but Ben could not refrain any longer.

Lydia chuckled nervously. "It's still early, Benj, and I need to take care of these dishes."

"The dishes can wait until morning. This cannot," Ben whispered into his wife's ear before he swept her off her feet.

"Benj!" Lydia gasped, her cheeks blushing furiously.

But she wrapped her arms around Ben's neck and pressed a kiss against his cheek. He carried her upstairs and crossed the threshold into her childhood bedroom. Ben kicked the door closed behind them, still holding onto his wife. Despite everything that threatened to keep them apart, Lydia Tallmadge was his for the night.

* * *

 **Author's Note: So, I created Montrose obviously. This is fanfiction. It is also fiction. TURN is also fiction with stuff happening in it that didn't actually happen. I do not regret it.**

 **Where have I been? Things have been kinda rough since I last updated. My tumblr friends and those who read my other stories already know this but my grandfather died unexpectedly in December plus there was a bunch of family drama going on the last few months. I'm also a full-time teacher and writing time is precious, if my muse cooperates.**

 **Please understand that I will try to update when I can. In case you didn't notice, this chapter (without author's note) is just shy of 11,000 words. That kind of content takes time. To put that in perspective this story is about the size of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone's word count in 10 chapters. I just ask for patience and understanding.**

 **I would like to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. It really means a lot to me! I never expected people to take to Lydia the way they have.**

 **Special thank you to my reviewers:**

 **FFN:** nixdragon, DayStorm, Darkwolf76, Guest (1), CurseYouTinyToilet, Ohmicrofilm, Slow Dancing in the Snow, Guest (2), Hoqwaarts, Talk With Your Hands, HottyToddy10, xoxo, thaovy203, EBB - Sonnet 43, MimikoFlamemaker, AmandaJ17, Guest (3?), Jes Freedark

 **WATTPAD:** leea36, Dora-Phelps, midnight1316, funsizedchild, Gabe62794, ThatGirl7650

 **AO3:** MimikoFlamemaker

 **Thanks to Renny Autumn for being my beta**


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